Dear Diary

At first, I hated him. I could not stand to be near him. Everything about him just screamed trouble. He was a thief, a con man, a smooth talker, and he loved the ladies. I had to be nice to him though, because he was my husbands best friend. They grew up together, went to school together, and caused a lot of mischief together.

In retrospect, I guess I could say that he was my type. Tall, dark, and handsome. Beautiful black wavy hair. Bad boy attitude. I just knew that being with him was going to be exciting and adventurous.

My marriage was definitely no picnic. Physical, emotional, and mental abuse to me and to his children. I couldn’t fight back, because that would mean I was fighting like a dude and I would get hit like a dude. I tried to protect the children as best as I could, but sometimes there was no stopping him.

Living back then was rough. We started in a tent, then a van, then a run down RV. Eventually, we acquired an old trailer we lived in for awhile. Then he actually started building our house, but it was never finished.

It didn’t happen all of a sudden or randomly, there would be unspoken winks and smiles and I found myself wanting him. I started thinking about him and dreaming about him. He would say things like, “Nice shorts you’re wearing” or “I like your hair up like that” and I would just smile and say, “Thank you”.

The first time was unexpected. He came to the house with his dog and I think he knew that my husband wasn’t going to be there. We took a long walk in the woods with our dogs, which were brother and sister, and we started talking. There was this old abandoned train tunnel about a quarter mile from where I lived, so we went exploring. Above the entrance to the tunnel was a stone balcony, so we climbed up to it to see what was up there.

When we got there, he grabbed me and kissed me passionately. Before I knew it, he had me bent over the edge and was thrusting so hard and it felt so good. When it was over I said, “That was amazing, thank you”. He said, “You’re welcome”. Of course, we swore to never tell anyone about what just happened.

A few days, weeks, months went by. I really can’t recall the time frame, as I am getting older and losing my memory, ugh, lol. The second time, my husband went out of town for a few days, so he decided to come over and hang out with me. We were sitting on the couch just talking and chilling and he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and we started at it again.

The run down trailer that I lived in was literally rocking back and forth along with his thrusting. Like, at one point I thought the trailer was going to fall over, but I just went with it because I didn’t want him to stop. That day was so amazing. We went at it about three or four times. I can still feel it to this day, that’s how amazing it was.

Unfortunately, there were some failed attempts after that and then I got divorced and moved away. I still think about him from time to time and I will always remember the fun we had.