“It’s Not You, It’s Me!”

There comes a time in life when I look at the things I used to do, especially when I was much younger and wanted to get along with others. There were times when I went along with the routines, the invitations, and habits of others that no longer fit me. Theref0re, I am breaking up with those habits.

These confessions are not because anything is wrong with the people involved, but because I’ve changed, much like the caterpillar that went through metamorphosis and became a beautiful butterfly.

• My priorities have shifted.
• My peace has become my priority.
• My spirit has matured.
• My schedule is extremely busy.

So instead of going along to get along, I am changing some things. Instead of ghosting old patterns, I am gently and gracefully breaking up with them with humor and honesty for my own peace, happiness, and joy. So, I say that classic line we all know:

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

Only this time, I actually mean it.

My Confessions As a Changed Woman

I can’t keep going to nightclubs with you every Saturday night. It’s not you, it’s me. I’d rather spend my evenings with my grandchildren. They dance better anyway.

I can’t stay on the phone with you for three hours every night. It’s not you, it’s me. I finally realized sleep is not optional.

I can’t keep pretending I enjoy those last‑minute road trips with no snacks, no plan, and no GPS. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve grown fond of knowing where I’m going instead of getting lost with you.

I can’t keep going to those all‑you‑can‑eat buffets with you. It’s not you, it’s me. My weight has filed a formal complaint.

I can’t keep shopping with you in high‑end stores just to dress to impress. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m a minimalist now. If it doesn’t serve my life or give me peace, it stays in the store.

I can no longer go to see horror movies with you. It's not you, it's me. That's not my favorite genre. Besides, I close my eyes at every scary scene. Why spend money to deliberately not watch most of the movie?

I will no longer go along with negative comments people make about others because if they say those things about strangers, they will say them about me. It's not you, it's me because my mother taught me ages ago that if I can't say something good about someone, don't say anything at all.

I can’t keep saying yes to every favor you ask. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve retired from being your partner in things that don't interest me or bring me joy.

I can’t keep letting you drag me into debates I didn’t sign up for. It’s not you, it’s me. I can no longer spend valuable time debating issues I have no control over.

I can’t keep skipping family time for spontaneous adventures. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve learned where my joy actually lies.

Growing out of old habits doesn’t require guilt or apology. It simply requires truth. Life shifts, seasons change, and I'm allowed to choose what gives me peace. Saying “It’s not you, it’s me” becomes less of an excuse and more of a declaration:

I’m honoring who I’m becoming.

My growth isn’t rejecting you. It's redirecting ME. Perhaps the scenarios above will shed light on some of your habits. A gentle turning toward the life that fits you might have you saying to others, like I say: “It's not you, it's me!”

Author's Note

If you read this, let me know. If you liked it, say so. If you want others to enjoy it, share it. If you have comments to make about it, do so. Keep these suggestions in mind. After all, “It's not you, it's me!”