Crazy Flirt

I think it is a little crazy when I think about how he looks at me. After the carnival he seemed to distance himself a bit. I assume that it was because I didn’t wait for him like he waited for me. While I was left with my eldest daughter and my significant other left me with our youngest, he stayed behind. He waited and I knew he did. It was finally our opportunity, but I avoided it. I didn’t want to be held accountable on why I was taking so long, especially when my one-year-old was in the car waiting for her sister and I to come. But I wanted to stay. I wanted too so bad. But I physically couldn’t, no matter how much my spirit wanted to.

What I thought was so crazy is that his daughter wanted to be with me. She was walking next to me, and I didn’t even notice until I glanced down. I couldn’t help but smile and acknowledge her. I could see him catching up to us, wanting to be with me and his daughter. It was like he didn’t care at this moment. It was the first time I actually seen him try to be with me regardless of my significant other, his own best friend.

The past few days since then, he hasn’t been the same. He has felt distant, and I don’t like that. I think he is upset about that. Also, while we were in the car yesterday, my significant other had asked me what features I thought were attractive and I replied with telling him. He left the car when he didn’t feel like the description matched him. I felt a bit awkward. But in reality, how can we be together?

I try to get over those emotions by allocating them somewhere else. Maybe someone else. I guess some people may be wondering why I am not happy with my significant other and the truth is…I am not as happy as I would like to be and he won’t leave and since we have a child together, it makes it all the harder to depart from him. But I can live in my mind, and I have told him multiple time that since he would not let me leave I would just be mentally and emotionally gone while being physically present and that’s what brings me to these many different experiences and emotions.

Would I be crazy to also state that I enjoy it? A part of mee really just enjoys the secrecy. Forbidden love and ironic entanglements. There’s something about it that just drives me absolutely insane. I get aroused just thinking about it, and my significant other’s best friend isn’t the only one I have an emotional connection with.

Recently I started a new job at this production facility. It’s a really good job and I enjoy the work; I am a prep chef. I started noticing something very particular about my supervisor. I started realizing that when he was on his shifts, he wanted me around him most of the time. Any task that he is doing, he directs me to be close by him or he will station himself close by me. The thing is that he is a shy guy. You know those guys who don’t make their affection show to a stranger? Yea, he is one off those and let me tell you…I am way smarter than shyness.

One the first day I had started, I guess you could say it was pretty normal. He was showing me around the facility and telling me where all the produce was stored when he said to me,

“I think you will be learning the ovens today” paused of a moment and then continued with “Actually, I think you’ll be with me”.

I haven trained on the ovens since. In the same day, ever task I did was right beside him. At first I thought to myself, this is normal. He is the supervisor and just wants to pay as close of attention tot the new girl as possible. But something struck me today. A sudden sense of intuition told me that he fancies me. I could feel it my gut but aside from intuition, I had a little brain power. It has been three weeks since my first day and since then I have made this really cool bond with a coworker. It’s a bit of a flirtatious bond…we chat…we laugh…we help each other out. I think he is so adorable and cute, but he has a girlfriend, so I don’t press so hard. Very light and casual flirting. Innocent to say the most.

We’ve really been kicking it at work and have been getting somewhat close. I believe my supervisor noticed this because he told him the other day that he would start working the ovens. That means for the most part of the day, we wouldn’t be together, conversing or having a laugh. This left me with my supervisor, the acting supervisor and 2 other co-workers who speak very little English.

Today was the day that I actually noticed my supervisor being close to me. I even noticed today that my supervisor was the one who put on the soft rock channel. This is important to note because on my first day, my acting supervisor asked me what kind of music I was in to, and I had told him rock and country. Very odd that whenever my supervisor is working, that is exactly what is playing. I didn’t put any care or thought into it until today, when, once again, the coworker that I was building with was removed from the prep kitchen to go and monitor the oven.

All day my supervisor was standing by me, side by side, but not to necessarily “watch me”. Somehow he would be in every space that I was in. That in itself, to me was very suspicious. Today I was asked by my acting supervisor as we were making sandwiches, which sandwich I liked the most. I smiled and said, “I love sandwiches, so that’s a very hard question”, and out loud, and very loud, my supervisor laughs. And not a regular laugh…it was like a fake belly laugh. A laugh that felt insinuated. It was done on purpose. It wasn’t natural but as always I kept my smile and answered with “pastrami and Swiss”.

My acting supervisor began to chuckle and said “ooooh they had pastrami and Swiss at Murano’s”. Which was a restaurant they had both worked at prior to the job at the production center.

“Like a Ruben?” my supervisor asked, and I looked at him slightly confused because I didn’t know what a Ruben was. I then turned to my acting supervisor, the one who initially asked the question and asked him if he had ever tried wise guys and that they have a pastrami and Swiss sandwich with sauerkraut. Before I could say anything else my supervisor affirms himself and says,

“Yea, a Ruben”. Of course, I was sitting there like a confused bat out of hell because I replied,

“Well, that’s not what they called it.” He said nothing else to say the least but about two minutes later he says,

“I love chicken parm, I’m about to go to Vasilios today and get some.”

I couldn’t help but look at him and smile because prior to this conversation, about a week prior, I remember having a conversation with my acting supervisor about food I like to eat. He had asked me what one of my favorite things to eat was and I mentioned to him that I loved chicken parm sandwiches. He then questioned me about where I like to get them, and I had told him Vasilios. Call me crazy but it seems like my supervisor is having my acting supervisor play detective when it comes to finding more information about who I am and what I like.

Because it seems very odd to me that he would mention the same thing but also mention the place I like to get it from. He wanted to relate to me and that we like the same things.

A little later in the day, I had overheard the two of them talking about former co-workers and my acting supervisor brought up a female worker to my supervisor. My acting supervisor says something along the lines of “you really liked her didn’t you” and my supervisors reply was “eh. She only lasted like two days here so, I don’t really know,”

But why would his acting supervisor question him like that if he didn’t like he for the time being she was there? And oddly enough, I wanted him to know that I was interested in him and that I loved the Asian culture. I wanted to blab about how I love Korean food and how I wanted to study Japanese cuisine for six months in Japan and how I really just wanted to learn mandarin. I don’t know why I wanted him to know. And maybe it was because I could feel his curiosity. He was wondering about me.

I don’t mind it, however, from what I have heard, my supervisor has a fiancé.