Counter Clown

“I am a clown

A clown from the Upside Down

I’ll trade you a joke

For a Trick

A Trick

For a Stick

A Stick

For my Weary Wisdom

As Fun as a Fairy

I promise I’m not Scary

But Sacred

Is the purpose

Of Clowning.”

Wearing a smile of sunshine, I spin around Myself and stop with hands raised high and fingers spread wide. I wave, sparkles of magic escaping from my fingertips. “Ooooooo…Ahhhhhhh,” the summer campers oogle and ogle at my grand affair.

“Nina Chihuahua! Director of Clowning,” I wink.

That summer, I trade my devil horns for a crown made of stories and a rainbow wig. I laugh with lips of hearts and cry tears of diamonds until my cheeks stain pink and green.

I fall in Love.

Love hits me like a Truck that summer.

“It’s fascinating!” I ponder to Myself that night, “You’re telling Me that I can be a Good Smiley Cutey Clown and not a Creepy Death Clown all the time? This Rocks!”

So nearly every day for three weeks straight, I transform into a Silly Little Clown (somewhere on the spectrum to Fairies) dawning puffy skirts and a glitter nose. I sail the Seven Seas, fight Pirates, and Direct a Circus.

I paint my face and

I paint my face and

I paint my face and

I fall in Love.

With Myself, primarily (You go, girl!), and then perhaps with another Clown (gasp!).

Yes. It’s True! Who knew that Ms. Desmina de Vil - Clown Queen of Chaos - could fall in Love? Who knew that Ms. Desmina de Vil - Princess of the Underworld - could infiltrate a Christian Summer camp? And fall in Love? Preposterous!

“Gottcha, God!”

Or maybe God got Me.

Because I fall in Love with my Counter Clown - a tall boy with big hair, a big grin, and an even bigger heart. Hehe’s the kind of Clown that kids adore, parents hire, and friends admire. Hehe’s the kind of Clown who serenades Me while the Sun sets.

Hehe’s the kind of clown who carries squeaks in ha’s pocket, squeaking them on the streets as dogs stroll by. I roll my eyes! But I feel ever so squealy when hehe puts the squeaks right on ha's heart, squeezing them extra squeaky just to let me know hehe Loves Me.

I fall in Love.

With Myself, primarily, and the way hehe holds me as I weep so wildly in ha's arms when hehe first says

I love You.

I fall in Love

And I stay up all night loving hehe in ecstasy, leaving in the morning to chase an adventure on Pier 39.

I fall in Love

And I am late to dinner with a dear friend once lover.

I fall in Love

And I keep another Lover waiting wistfully for my Love.

I hurt her and

I fall in Love

And I wonder if I will ever stop being a Foolish Fool, a Freak with Feelings, bruising my lovers and falling ever so deeply and madly

In Love.

I fall in Love.

And I bid adieu

To a man who will always break my heart

And who I will always love.

You are the Love of my Life*

<3 Nina

P.S. See You in Paris!

*One of them. I am a lover boy. And a Whore!