Chronicles of a 20-something’s failed entry into the workforce

I entered the workshop, and the welding and grinding noise stopped - my friend had told me over phone. After training, she was posted to the largest industrial area in an obscure place in Gujarat and her workshop stories were shocking. Was I lucky? I was in Mumbai, standing in a cabin with no sight of a spare chair, wondering if I should have breakfast at all. I was more concerned about finding a chair than my helmet and goggles which had been stolen, because that day I wondered if the acting- manager’s words of always wearing a safety coat made sense; if going to the shop floor to fill my time made sense, if my father’s words of not pursuing mechanical engineering made sense, if anything at all made any sense! Just a week before, I was ready to change the world with the armor of good grades and deep study of not just the past 4 but the past 21 years of my (illustrious) student life.

Earlier in the week, I had surprised the head boss, honestly telling him that I had not wanted this posting when he had enquired if I had asked for it. He wasn’t surprised that I did not want it but that I had told him so. I was more surprised that they were surprised that someone had been posted to the department. If they didn’t need someone, why was I even here? It took me years to realize that work isn’t the only reason for a job to exist.

Right after this meeting, I was introduced to my ‘acting’ manager who would guide me till the actual one was back. In a month, I was to find out that my dislike for him from the moment he had listened to the head boss’s orders and given all signs of obedience in military ‘yes sir’ fashion, with eyes straight and chest stretched, not even looking at me, was not exclusive. It was shared with all my colleagues as was the hope of the early arrival of the actual manager. When it happened, it turned out to be as life-changing as buying a new toy.

The same afternoon was when I had my life’s first formal lunch – with the team, without a word being said by anyone, with the unwanted colleague being pestered to join for the sake of being nice. Till then I had never imagined eating to ever turn into a punishment. My ordeal for the day continued and I was warned about mingling with two sets of people, by each of them. I was left with the choice of choosing between someone who had committed the crime of being ‘too close’ to the head boss and the other who was born incompetent and would pose as a hindrance to my progress, by association. Damned either way, I became lazy and chose the side of the passive.

The acting-manager spoke to me for the first time, asking me about my plans for the future or put straight- when I plan to leave the company. Thankfully, I did not have any plans. He insisted I tell him honestly. Honestly, I did not have any plans. He told me it was okay if I did not want to reveal my plans, he understood. I did not understand. So much of naivete, I would have fought for me if I was on the other side.

It didn’t take me log to figure out that there was no relation between work, time and efficiency. That fable was told only in textbook, especially in the industrial engineering ones. I advise you to start from the last page instead, where you will find a small paragraph on people management. I asked one of my colleagues why he wasn’t leaving yet and he said if he left on time, people would think he didn’t do any work and believe me, this was the first time I thought of the concept of ‘looking busy’. Just the other day, I had waited to finish some menial tasks assigned to me after work hours for no reason other than getting it done. Let me tell you what the task was; I have it as my top reason for leaving the job. I had to compare two documents, check their parameters and they had told me to put a tick mark if those were correct and after I was done, I was advised to erase those tick marks too. I am lying. I wasn’t just advised, I did it too. Had I studied fluid dynamics and vibration to do this? Or to make photocopies? I wouldn’t have assigned this task even to the toddler next door.

Before attending a training session, I was told that I could attend it only if I promised to stay back after work hours and cooperate with the department. Work which I was assigned nothing of! This statement seemed so absurd to me that I took it as a joke and refused stay after ‘work’, having spent the day doing nothing. When I was asked to come in shifts, I asked if I will be paid more. Laud my guts, often confused for foolishness (this unlike work and time, is actually related)! For most of us who won’t have the guts to kill our enemies and go to jail, the sight of a prisoner leaving the jail will remain an unfulfilled dream. Not for me. Every evening at 5, I saw employees punching out and swarming the gates, trying to win the Olympics 100m. Once, some of us, trainees, went out and recorded the scene and laughed about it for an entire week- one of my fondest memories.

I’m not done talking about office politics. Again, believe me, I had no idea I could give a name to all the confusing behavior around me. Even after my actual manager joined, my training for becoming a Quality Control Inspector had not started. I wondered why and asked him too. He said we will start soon. I ruled out incompetence and being a female. I had topped most classes. Now I think, these were the very reasons.

I heard snide remarks from the office-boy saying that I earned money for doing nothing. The only inspection work I did was because the laziest person in the cabin was in no mood to go to the workshop after lunch. There wasn’t even a ladies washroom nearby for me to go and cry at such times. Belligerence came to my rescue. Someone sent me back from the shop to get an instrument they had forgotten. The previous day, this person had made me hold the torch while he took the readings. I returned with a broken instrument and feigned ignorance. I misplaced his papers. As the first graduate engineer in the department, I was a threat to the others. Not being a male worsened the situation for me. The salary I received at the end of the month was not enough to compensate the bouts of daily grief. Not that I wasn’t paid well but that without any responsibility, the money I earned was like pocket money and I could always go home if I wasn’t happy. Like you did not study for the grades, you did not work for the money, right Mom and Dad? They wouldn’t agree with me today.

Power structures are game-changers and this is where you can study human behavior at its worst. For a month, I did not have a desk. One fine day when the head boss strolled by, amusing himself and noticed this, I had a chair and a new computer within 2 hours. The head boss once gave me some ‘internet research work’; the number of times people enquired about it made me wonder if I had made friends. The on-payroll people treated the on-contract people with zero courtesy. Another fine morning when the head boss strolled by amusing himself, he failed to notice two of them at their desk. They had simply not shown up after having had enough. And then guess who had to stay after hours and fill up for them? Not me. The acting-manager did, again in military fashion, with eyes straight and chest stretched, saying ‘yes sir’ to the head boss.

When I had complained enough to the HR about not having any work and the HR had ignored me enough, I sent an email to the head HR and within a day, the HR and their boss almost solved my problem- by acknowledging that there wasn’t one. After 2 months when I had initiated the conversation of change of department, the HR finally relented to let me ask the head of the department about it. I was sure that there would be no issues and that everyone would be happy ever after but a 20-something is idealistic, if not delusional. I was told that I couldn’t leave till the department gets a replacement. I told the head that I did not have any work so it doesn’t matter. He cut the phone, missed my point and said that I could always go around the workshop to understand the work. This was it.

Going around the workshop and speaking to the workers was the only value-adding thing that I did anyway, earlier, to fill time and later, to listen to all the 30-years worth of knowledge of the workers, sharp, just like their welding edges. The main reason for my maladjustment, I believe, was assuming that the adult world was perfect and that the young take the responsibility to run it when they enter it. Making it worse was my ‘good student’ and ‘respect your elders’ attitude, both ingrained in the Indian education system.

Sometimes I wonder where all the courage came from! Not all guts come from foolishness. What I went through would have slowly killed my hopes of changing the world but fortunately, I was too stubborn, too delusional, too carefree and too irresponsible for any disappointment to change my thirst for life. If you are a 20-something entering the not so hallowed doors of your first job, it is good to be aware of the framed etiquette but if you follow these unspoken workplace norms, sadly true, it will slowly crush your spirit. The only regret I have is paying the bond amount for leaving within months, which left me with zero net income at the end of this ordeal.

The rules weren’t worth following.