Can obsession turn into love?

When you see someone across the room, or on your screen… you can’t stop thinking about them.You might find yourself replaying images of that person in your head, wondering how they feel about you, what they’re doing at that moment and if there’s any way to get in contact with them. Some people call this “Obsessive Love Syndrome” or “Limerence” - an extremely intense form of romantic love that is almost always unrequited. When it comes to loving from afar, does obsession ever turn into love? However much you may want it to be, obsession isn’t a stepping stone towards love. It isn’t a preamble to romance either. In its own right, obsessions is a mental illness where someone can’t get another indiviWhen you see someone across the room, or on your screen… you can’t stop thinking about them. dual out of their mind. It can be dangerous and unhealthy because instead of seeing the real person, the obsessed individual sees an idealized version of themself; almost like they are falling in love with their own imagination rather than another human being.

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What Is Limerence?

Limerence is a state of being one falls into when they become obsessed with another person. It is a form of unreciprocated love, where someone has an intense fascination with another person to the point that it consumes them. Limerence is often described as being similar to being in love, so much so that it is often mistaken for the early stages of romantic love. It is the mental state of being “in love” without the romance. Limerence is a very intense state of mind that can last anywhere between a few weeks to a few years. It can be compared to the feelings of falling in love, but is different in that it is not yet directed towards another person. It can either be short-term or last for years.

The Dangers of Limerence

Limerence can harm not only the obsessed person, but the individual they are fixated on as well. The obsessed person could potentially stalk their crush, harass them, or even commit acts of violence against them. They may also make an emotional investment in someone who may not even reciprocate their feelings. Limerence can cause the obsessed individual to make bad decisions, such as quitting their job, giving up their education, or even endangering their health in some way. Many individuals have come to harm themselves because they thought that the feelings they had were reciprocated when they really weren’t. They may have made drastic changes to their appearance, lifestyle, or even career choices in order to impress the person they were fixated on.

Can Obsession Turn Into Love?

No, obsession and love are two very different things. Obsession is an unhealthy mental state where you’re so fixated on someone that you don’t see their flaws. Love, on the other hand, is seeing the beauty in someone while also acknowledging their faults. Lovers are able to communicate and have a real relationship, whereas the obsessed are trapped in their own head and unable to see that their crush doesn’t feel the same way. Lovers build each other up and create a strong, romantic bond. Obsessed people tear each other down and are, in many cases, harmful to each other. Lovers have a mutual respect for one another, whereas obsessed individuals do not respect their crush and might even use manipulation to get them to reciprocate their feelings.

The Difference Between Obsession and Limerence

Unlike the obsessive state of mind, romantic love is something that is returned. Lovers can see each other and interact with each other. The two individuals may not always get along, but they are both aware of the relationship they share with each other. Limerence, on the other hand, is unreciprocated. The obsessed person has no idea that their crush feels nothing for them, and the person they are fixated on has no idea that they are being stalked, obsessed over, etc. Lovers are able to have a mutual relationship. Obsessed individuals are incapable of any form of communication that isn’t self-centered. Lovers grow together and support each other. Obsessed people tear each other down and can be potentially fatal to each other.

When Obsession Becomes Dangerous

The moment that someone becomes so consumed by another person that they begin to lose sight of their own identity is when they’ve crossed the line from being obsessed to being dangerously obsessed. The obsessed individual begins to neglect their physical and emotional health, their finances, their social connections, and their overall self-worth. They may begin to isolate themselves from other people, engage in self-destructive behaviors, or even make drastic changes to their appearance or lifestyle in order to be more “attractive” to their crush. Lovers are able to communicate with each other and have a mutual relationship. Obsessed people have no ability to be open and honest with their crush. Instead, they obsessively stalk their crush, often to the point of being dangerous to themselves and the other person.

Final Words

As you can see, obsession and limerence are very different states of mind. It is important to recognize the differences between obsession and limerence so that you can protect yourself from becoming dangerously obsessed with someone. If you find yourself fixated on someone and unable to function normally, you may be in a destructive obsessive state of mind. Seek help from a professional or reach out to a friend. You do not have to be in this state forever.