Betrayed: Navigating Love and Loss After 35 Years of Marriage

The person expressed a need to vent about their recent experience with a friend they had been seeing romantically after the passing of their wife of 35 years. The friend was a former best friend of their late wife from high school and had been in a long-term relationship before wanting to leave. The person had been talking to their friend for almost two years before they finally moved out and got their own place. They started seeing each other romantically, and the person had gone down to help their friend get settled in.

On Valentine's Day, the person had agreed to go down and stay with their friend noticed that their friend kept texting and talking to their ex-partner. while she attended a conference out of town. However, while playing games on their friend's tablet, they saw that their friend had FaceTimed her ex on Valentine's Day. When they asked their friend about it, she denied talking to him, but the person showed her proof on her tablet. They gave her an ultimatum to choose between them or her ex. After thinking about it, their friend asked if she could talk to her ex once a week. The person broke off their relationship and started to pack their things to leave.

The next day, the friend's ex called, and the person answered the phone. They overheard their friend crying and confessing to her ex that she couldn't let him go. The person confronted their friend about lying, but she continued to deny it. When she returned home, she sent a text message saying that she couldn't believe the person was throwing everything away and not trusting her. The person wondered if they were in the wrong for not trusting or believing her.

Additional Information

It can be difficult to trust someone who has lied to you, and it's understandable that the person in this situation is feeling hurt and betrayed by their friend's actions. It's important for them to take time to process their emotions and consider what they need in a relationship.

If they want to continue their relationship with their friend, they need to have an open and honest conversation about what happened and what they both need from each other moving forward. It's important to establish boundaries and expectations, including what level of communication is appropriate with ex-partners.

If the person doesn't feel like they can trust their friend or move past what happened, it's okay to end the relationship. They deserve to be with someone they feel they can trust and who is committed to being truthful with them.

It's also important for the person to prioritize their own emotional wellbeing during this time, whether that means seeking support from friends or family or seeking out counseling or therapy. Processing their grief over the loss of their wife while navigating a new relationship can be a complex and challenging experience, and it's important to take care of oneself during this time.

Additionally, it's worth considering that the person in this situation may have been in a vulnerable emotional state following the loss of their wife, which could have influenced their decision-making and their willingness to overlook red flags in their relationship with their friend. It's important to be aware of one's own emotional state when entering into new relationships, particularly during periods of grief or upheaval.

Moving forward, the person may want to consider taking a break from dating to focus on their own emotional healing and growth. Alternatively, they may want to explore other avenues for meeting people, such as through social groups or online communities, that offer a lower-stakes way to connect with others without the same level of emotional intensity.

Ultimately, the most important thing is for the person to prioritize their own emotional needs and boundaries, and to be honest with themselves and their partner about what they are looking for in a relationship. Whether they choose to continue their relationship with their friend or move on, the key is to do so in a way that feels healthy and authentic for them.