Aussie Afghan

July 2020

Winter school holidays saw us take a family short stay down to Bunbury (where Zubi's foster mum lives and works) for a few nights. We stayed in the Lord Forrest Hotel and ate out every moment we could. After the surgery, breakup and friendship breakdowns and other factors, we all needed a break from the city for a while. We enjoyed exploring the harbour and marina of Bunbury, Tesla Superchargers and 17 hour Kmart of Eaton, and even took a drive down to Busselton Jetty where we did the underwater aquarium at 9m deep. It was a happy moment to just be the three of us enjoying every moment without a care in the world. I was even contacted by a spell caster named Okuku that said they could help me get my love back and cure my son for a small fee.

Back to the city and home life, the following Friday night, my daughter and I were sitting on my bed talking when my phone rings and a male voice asks if I am okay. I am surprised and look at my daughter with a surprised look. I reply with a yes and ask who it is. He returns with "I heard you and Zubi split up and I was just making sure that you are okay as he described you to be a nice girl when he was with you".

Still not knowing who I am talking to, I put the call on speaker and place it on my knee for my daughter to hear. The male continues "So are you okay?"

I reply, "How'd you get my number?"

He says, "Zubi gave it to me after he broke up with you. Said you were a nice, tall Australian girl."

Feeling confused I ask, "So why are you calling me?"

He says, "I just want to make sure you're okay."

This caller does not sound Aussie either. Is he one of Zubi's friends or a co-worker? This has me guessing and my daughter can see what I am thinking and gestures to ask. "So, who are you?"

"I am Zubi's manager, my name is Zee."

Ah, so Zubi shares phone numbers with the guys at work, okay, now we are getting somewhere! Smiles of mischief spreading across our faces I ask "So, why are you calling so late?"

"Just checking in on you, that's all."

"Well, I am fine, thank you."

"Okay, have a great night."

"Thanks, bye."

Strange! My daughter is as surprised as I am and voices her opinions on the call and what they could be up too. We sit and talk for an hour more before I tuck her into bed and lock up for the night. My phone buzzes with a message from Zee. "Would you like to know more on what Zubi is doing now?" Tired but intrigued I reply yes. He messages back asking for my address so he can come see me. I hesitate and reply no, not tonight. He messages me and says he will talk later.

A week goes by and there is no more strange messages or phone calls. I have started TAFE and am loving being back in the familiar grounds of tertiary excellence. Even though my original classmates are now certified, I have new friends to make and courses to complete. Swapping high heels for steel cap boots I post on my social medias about the successes I am making each day. Monday mornings keep me busy with housework, the afternoons have me learning about drainage, Tuesday mornings is technical mathematics, Wednesday is Civil 3D, Thursday is revision/assignment day and Friday's a full day with Intersections and Revit. By the end of trade Friday, I drive to pick up my kids from Warnbro, have dinner with my parents and drive home to let the dog out after being kept inside for 12 hours. Our weekends are filled with grocery shopping and family adventures to parks, friends, and Mt Henry Bridge. Come Sunday night the kids go back to their father's and I sleep to ready for the week again. A message on my phone from Zee, "Are you up?" I contemplate then answer "Yes, why?"

"Can we meet for a coffee; I need to tell you something?"

Already in my pjs I do not feel like going out and told him this. He replies, "I can come to you, what coffee would you like?"

Thinking of a hot chai latte would go rather nice on a cold winter’s night, I text him my order and address. He replies that he is on his way and will be there in 30 minutes. So, I get up, put my dressing gown and Ugg boots on and go out the front of my house. Luckily, my house is a rear unit and I have a spare driveway in which I use as an alfresco area with outdoor lounge and fire pit, so I light the fire and sit and wait. The warm flames dance in the silver moon light as a car pulls in and parks. A blue Mazda 3 with a shortish guy sits inside as I walk up to it. He opens the door and hands me a cup from McCafé. Warm and steamy I take a careful sip to find it is tea not chai. Moving back to the alfresco area he follows me and sits on the lounge close by. He looks at me and smiles. His face is strange. Not skinny nor plump. Oval with high cheekbones and dark eyes. He is not nervous and looks quiet calm. He speaks "I am Zee, do you like your tea?" and smiles. I am curious as to what he has to say and sips smiling. He starts talking about all the nice things Zubi had said about me when we were together. How Zubi would come into work every day with a massive smile across his face and tell the boys about the girl he had found. How she was educated, smart, tall, and Australian. Zubi would be always so happy and worked very efficiently when he had seen me the night before. Zee teased Zubi and Zubi did not care as he told of his love for his girl. But Zee said things changed after Ramadan. Zubi became distant and did not speak of me as often, he seemed distracted and wanted to spend more time with friends drinking. Zee was one of the friends that Zubi hung out with every weekend, so he had only seen him hours before our meeting. Zee said Zubi had found someone else and was happy again. I knew it in my heart that I was an option and that is what broke me first. I told Zee of the times we spent together and what happened that June night with Zubi's car. Zee was impressed as when he heard Zubi's car there was no sound! Another aha moment, was Zubi lying to me already? The fire fizzled out and it was getting cold again, so Zee invited me into his car and turned the heater on. Warm air filled the cabin as a subtle hint of cannabis escaped with the initial rush. So, this was the weed smoker that Zubi pestered about. Another connection to previous conversations about how Zubi got to work when he did not have a car. Zee and I talked and laughed at stupid things Zubi does and as the heat filled us, Zee leaned in closer and asked if I wanted another Zubair. Felling confused I asked "How?" Zee placed his arms around my shoulders and leaned in, "Me". I pulled away and went to get out of the car. He reclined and said sorry, but he found me beautiful and wanted to know me more. I sat on the edge of the passenger seat and looked back at him and said, "Only if we can get Zubi back for dumping me like that!" Zee's smile deepened, "Done." I then hoped out of the car and waved goodnight as I walked inside with a demon of revenge growing.

Some strange things happened that week as on Tuesday morning during mathematics my vision went. I could not see clearly. The whiteboard was a blurred shape with no details. I excused myself and went to the women's toilets to wash my face and refresh to no avail. I returned to class to find the lecturer called break and the class was empty. I looked at the board and still could not see details. Panicked, I packed up my belongings and headed for my car. I drove the roads I knew so well to my fav spot at Woodmans Point. Parking the car, I got out and walked out to the point. Cold fresh ocean breeze swept my face and I started to cry. What had just happened. I had no headache or tiredness and felt fine this morning. It was strange. I tried to focus on my phone to no avail. Seemingly giving up but becoming hungry I decided to drive to Port Coogee Marina and go to Dome for lunch thinking a hot meal and warmth might help calm my nerves, plus I needed to buy a gift card for a friend. Sitting in Dome overlooking the marina, eating, and drinking my vision came back and I was looking on my phone for jobs as I was needing money to pay for services. I found one that was a volunteer position and only asked for minimal hours in office and was very flexible, so I applied and continued my drive. Stopping every now and then to take photos of scenery, architecture, and an army museum, I ended my quest sitting on the top of a children's playground at Tuckfield Oval in Fremantle overlooking the Fremantle port and Swan River delta. Watching a tub boat sped towards the mouth, spin, stop and do it all again helped me relax and find peace and serenity in the life I was now creating for myself. Not a worry in the world, everything started to return to myself.

Zee and I got to know each other via text most nights. On the weekends he would text me photos of Zubi passed out on his couch and then come see me Sunday night after he dropped Zubi home and my kids had been picked up. We grew close and he was amazing at back seat sex! I was paying this person to perform spells to get me and Zubi back together and life was great. I even had an interview with the job I applied for and was accepted for the position on the spot. Tears of joy were running down my cheeks this time. I even came off medications for my disability and felt fine. Finally, relief after break. I still wanted Zubi but that was in the back of my mind most of the time.

August 2020

One night Zee messaged me to say he was going with a friend to Katanning for a few days and wouldn't be seeing me this weekend. So, I wished him safe travels and didn't think any more of it. I started my new position as Assistant Project Manager on Monday morning before TAFE and worked out a schedule for my office hours to work around TAFE and my kids. My new boss was super nice and wanted me working on construction and Australian Defence Forces. I was so excited and proud to be me. The week flew by and so did the weekend. The next week came and went as well, I was loving life. One Saturday night my son was checking Facebook when he saw a post from Zubi and asked if I still loved him. I had mixed emotions. Yes, I wanted the Zubi I initially met, but no, I was happier without him. I realised then that I had not heard from Zee either and messaged him. No reply. So, I left it. End of August I still hadn't heard from Zee, so I opened my dating app profile again to chat to guys. A few from previous were still available and happy to just chat. I caught up with James as well and he was having dilemmas with a new girl that wanted him to be more than just friends with her friends. Crazy! So, steering him clear of that one I was enjoying my nightly chats before slumber from guys that appreciated me. I even started having coffee dates with an aviation engineer / trainee pilot from Iran. His name was Max. He was a nice guy, but no chemistry there for me, so I apologised and wished him well.

September 2020

Spring cleaning was on my mind in my spare time. I wanted to refresh my house and get rid of clutter that no longer served me. My ex-husband was a hoarder of anything, and I hated having to move things to get to others. So, I was ruthless and started discarding into donation or bin boxes. Once my SUV boot was full of donations, I took it to my local Salvos store in Bentley for drop off, little did I know that down the mall was someone watching me. As I passed him on the way out it dawned on me. This is the first time I had been seen. It didn't faze me one bit because I knew he was nothing but a faded memory. It felt good to see his face and not care as he stares, knowing it was his mistake that made me break. I was fitter, stronger, and healthier for what he did to me. I was everything I wanted to be. Driving to Cannington to drop the last of my load I took a walk by the river and sang my pride as I was able to go by without a care or hi.

Mid-September saw us take on my daughter's friend who was having troubles at home and stayed with us instead. She was quite the sarcastic creature, witty and worded like a pro. September school holidays she had her boyfriend stay over too, a condom wrapper on the floor, he was embarrassed when I gave them the truth. My hot water never ran that long, and I knew they were not washing. Some advice from me we headed out for my birthday tea although I felt happy, something was making me low. We shared our clothes and food, but something about this girl got me in a mood. I could not quite put my finger on it but deep inside I knew.

October 2020

It is my daughter's fifteenth birthday coming up and we are planning a birthday bash to celebrate the two of us. It is going to be amazing! I have started rearranging the backyard and cleaning up the rubbish to make way for a barn yard dance come modern disco. Being a DJ myself, we have all the equipment ready at hand. Clear the carport and entry beyond the double gates to make way for the outdoor lounge and fire pit in a large u shape. A couple of recycled pallet crates stacked up to make a large stargazing bed with blankets and pillows completes the seating area. Our outdoor table cleaned and dewebbed, lights strung from edge to edge. An umbrella open and downed with lights, I have not really created any prettier sights. As night falls and friends arrive, success is found and pride of my life. My inner designer is ecstatic a masterpiece has been created. I cook all her favourites and cover the table in sweets and savouries. Lollies, chocolates, pies and chips, soft drinks and apple juice, a dazzling display. Hands grabbing and fumbling food, laughs and squeals as friends commune. Smiles and twinkling eyes but the girl who has been staying has a different side. She runs to the kerb crying and I wonder why. Following her she tries to hide, but a mother (even not her own) has concerns for the change in emotion. She just received a message that her long-time friend was dying, and she wanted to get home to say goodbye. This friend was not human (and I would be lying, if I didn't say that I cried when my furry friend was dying). I held her close and let her weep in my arms on the street. My daughter and her friends stood around wondering how to get her south. When I asked her to return to the backyard out of harm’s way and sit with her phone she can pray, for all the good times they had together, for trying to go home now, she might get better. As the party moved back beyond the gate, a sigh of relief being able to avoid that mistake. The night continued with dancing, singing and laughter as the teenagers displayed such humour. The next day there were bodies all over my lounge room floor, snuggled and snoring like teenagers do. I had a busy day with my cousin’s baby shower to attend so started cleaning up from the party’s end. By midday I had to leave so my daughter's friend decided to go home and see her furry friend. Now with to pick up my Nan and five kids in tow it was off to the baby shower we go. Crammed on the backseat in my large SUV sat my daughter and four friends (sardines). The baby shower was a great laugh, my daughter tried to feed me chocolate custard blindfolded. It went everywhere. In my hair, over my glasses, up my nose, over my clothes. Note: do not trust her blindfolded!!! Even my dad showed me why I am so fucked up, as the grandparents game saw him throwing a baby doll from one end of the backyard into a crib at the other like in NRL. My daughter's friends were down the road at the park for starters as they felt uncomfortable entering on our mafia but soon came in when food had claimed their hunger. A great day in all, time to head home, drop Nan off and let some more friends go. Just three left to sleep tonight (they promised to help me clean), or so I thought. Woken up at 11pm by male voices in my home, but there were only girls when I went to bed, I stumbled cranky into the lounge room to find my daughter's friend that had been staying with us had returned and bought back another two friends. I set some ground rules and said goodnight, I was tired and not in the mood to fight. Saying they can stay here but tomorrow they have to help clean as I had to take my Nan to chemotherapy, and I also had TAFE.

The next day I woke early and made-up cleaning itinerary, very detailed and explanatory. I stuck them to the room divider and placed it by the lounge room so when they woke, they would see. I had my breakfast and did my chores before exiting the house at 8:30am. I picked up Nan and took her to Fiona Stanley. After hospital she shouted me lunch and we sat by the Fremantle Marina enjoying the view. I dropped her off home and went to TAFE early. As I arrived at tafe I felt something askew, then my daughter rang in tears. Her friends had abused her for me setting ground rules and wanting them to clean, so they teased her and left the scene. My daughter locked herself, our dog and her best friend (JT) in the bathroom and rang me. I was furious. I sped home from Munster to Manning in fifteen minutes (Usually 35 minutes) to find JT’s dad pulling out of my driveway. He stopped and asked if I needed help, and I said yes please. I roared down my driveway and jumped out of my SUV before it stopped. Racing inside I found my daughter and pulled her close (she has severe social anxiety and PTSD). She was sobbing uncontrollably. I asked her what happened, and she said that her friends turned on her last night after I gave them the rules, they were pissed off that they had to clean even though they hadn't been there. They called her fat and lazy and said she would never have a boyfriend because she was heavy. They threatened to slit our dog's throat and bash the cat just as a joke. My tempter was raising. I turned and scolded at the two left behind, get your things and leave now! My daughter's friend tried to say sorry, but after everything we have given her in her time of need, she didn't stand up for her friend when she was in need. I kicked them out and anything left was put by the letterbox for them to retrieve. I thanked JT's dad for staying and thanked JT for ringing me. Parking my car properly and locking it securely, I go inside to put my daughter back together one more time. The next week I stayed home from TAFE to take care of my daughter and be her emotional security. Too many times before have I had to pick her pieces up and nurture her tender soul as she too wore her heart on her sleeve and was taken advantage of by our so-called friends easily. Two Libran females. Mother and daughter, both sensitive, loyal, and true, always hurt by those we trust the most. In this mist of looking after my daughter, I saw a post from a clairvoyant advertising a love reading. I applied for a mini read from the Melbourne woman. She asked for a photo of me and my significant other and read that there was no passion in this connection but there was movement. She told me to grab the bull by the horns and go for it. Trust and passion were major effects here that were going to be resolved once he stood as the Emperor (Man of Power). He was going to communicate soon.