Agree to Disagree

Note from the author: Hi, I’m Katelyn. I am the creator of the series Truthful Tuesdays, where once a week I tackle a cultural or political topic and analyze it through the Catholic lens. If you are a born-and-raised Christian, new to the faith, or even a non-believer, I know this series will resonate with you in some way—good or bad, that is its true purpose! If you find yourself reading this specific article, you are in the right place; this is the first installment in this series, and I invite you to hitch a ride for my writing journey by subscribing to my page and finding me on other social media platforms (found at the end of this article). Now enough of my rambling—happy reading, my friends!

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Nearly everyone has heard of the phrase “agree to disagree”—if you haven’t, congratulations, you are a rare occurrence in humanity. Of all the times this phrase has been tossed about and utilized to quell a divide, how many times did the speaker step back and truly consider what the phrase means? Is it always that simple to settle differences and go on loving each other regardless? Should we go on like that? As Christians, we believe that everyone is made in the image and likeness of God—but what if someone says something to utterly undermine this? Do we swiftly brush our faith under the rug when confronted about a “hot topic” issue, all to avoid conflict and keep the peace? As you can see, agreeing to disagree is not a black-and-white phrase.

The common Christian response—and the right one, in some aspects—is that agreeing to disagree is the most valiant way to handle a disagreement. I am a firm believer that this tactic is, at times, the best or only option. After all, “Then Jesus said to him, ‘Put your sword back into its place; for all who take the sword will perish by the sword” (Matthew 26:52). Hatred is often the product of unresolved differences, so agreeing to disagree lays the dilemma to rest and allows both parties to move on peacefully. But the key words are “both parties”—if only one party agrees to disagree, the differences cannot be settled and can at times even turn violent, as portrayed when wars break out between opposing nations. Luckily for the majority of us, our disagreements are not as large-scale and affect a small group of people, so the “agreeing to disagree” tactic is much more simple.

We cannot ignore our obligations as Christians to spread the Truth of God. All too often I find myself among company who suddenly do not have an opinion once a controversial topic is mentioned—even worse, many Christians fall into the category of nodding along and accepting ideologies that utterly derail Christian morals for the sake of not wanting to rouse the crowd. There is a very fine line between agreeing to disagree and simply not standing up for your Faith. This line is often blurred due to fear of being ostracized or being treated lowly for holding certain beliefs and morals—while these are valid concerns, they mean nothing when held to the Truth God longs to reveal through us. A personal experience of mine is a key example of the limits of agreeing to disagree when it comes to matters of faith and morals.

Almost a year ago, Roe v. Wade was overturned by the United States Supreme Court. A large chunk of the media portrayed the outrage and betrayed side of our nation, but on the opposite side of the spectrum were those celebrating a monumental step in the right direction. As soon as news dropped of this change, a close friend of mine sent me an article expressing disgust against this decision, claiming suppression and ignorance of women’s rights. I was quick to bring up my personal opinion on the subject, even using the phrase that we could “agree to disagree.” Without so much as a word in response, she blocked me across the board, and I have made no attempt to contact her since. What stands out about this example isn’t necessarily the way I responded—If I were in the same situation today, I would respond just as I did a year ago. What stands out is how the person on the other side of the issue responded: I was civil and respectful of her opinion, yet she choose not to “agree to disagree” and pretend that my opinion did not exist. As Christians, this outcome is always possible, so we must be prepared to handle it.

Do not become the “cafeteria Catholic” who falls into the category of not wanting to upset people and therefore keeps their faith hidden from the world. Sometimes, even by agreeing to disagree, Christians are left on the “out”. But are we really? God himself has given us the message: “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). In fact, this message is reiterated hundreds of times throughout the Bible. When we stand with God, we are always victorious. We cannot abandon Him just because we may be persecuted in this life, as we await even greater rewards in life after death. Simple as that.

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