A Step-by-Step Guide on How To Deal With Grief

A Step-by-Step Guide on How To Deal With Grief

Step 1. Have something horrible, gutwrenchingly bad rip your heart to shreds or, for your inner overachiever, have five bad things happen

(this one might take a minute, feel free to take your time)

Got it?

Great

Awful yes, but sort of a pre-requisite I’m sure you understand

Step 2. Now that you’re traumatised, push allllll that trauma to the side and get a full time job

“Life doesn’t stop when you ask it to…it has a schedule. Don’t be selfish. Pay your bills"

No time for self-pity, we have dreams to follow, goals to keep up with and deadlines to meet.

“Time’srunningout”

Step 3. Give yourself five minutes every morning (as you're getting ready for your fulltime job of course) to cry over your oatmilk latte as you do your makeup in the mirror

This is crucial to your development you see

Bonus points if you loop the same sad song each morning,

association is key

Apparently sobbing in a jersey and baggy pants isn’t a universal selling tactic

(go figure)

Or maybe it is, who am I to tell you how to sell?

Step 4. Three months later, leave the country.

Pack your bags, your trauma and at least three outfits that actually match

No.

Sweatpants don’t count.

Pretend the new country and its people

Heal at least a fraction of the grief you feel

They don't. But it’s nice to pretend

Step 5. Go to class on this badly-timed study abroad adventure and fall in love - all while sobbing in bed

Not with a person

But with the country

With your classes

With your work

In between your sobbing its crucial you go outside

Take countless photos of squirrels and the orange trees

Go to class and write

About everything you see and feel

reconnect

You'll produce some of your best work

Or just some generalised trash you’re too delusional to face

Art is subjective

Step 6. Post your heartbreak online and share it with ALL your poetry classmates

Listen, hear me out

Tag #studyabroad #oatmilklatte #ihatemyjob #easya #lifehacks

Pretend anyone other than your classmates will read it

(swear that going viral would make it all worth it)

Realise talking about it helps

There is a method to this madness

You’ve been running for months

Didn't you know you’d have to feel it all eventually?

Pretend you’re getting stronger

Cry anyway

Step 7. Get ready to return home from a semester abroad and look for a new job

Yeah so turns out employers aren’t really big fans when you quit with no notice

Who would’ve thought

So pack your bags

Pay the extra baggage allowance (insert emotional baggage joke here)

And get ready to face real life

Preferably also hire a therapist because none of this actually helps you face anything

(other than maybe your mother….

I’m grown mom, see? I survived four months on my own - told you I knew how to do laundry)

Seriously though

Get that therapist

This was just a really expensive form of escapism

Totally worth it for sure, but not exactly a grief curb-stomper per say…

Step 8. Close the guide, sip your latte, and accept that nothing fixes anything

Four months, an odd thirty-something thousand dollars and a coffee addiction later

You will realise

Past all the jokes, tears and caffeine

There are certain things only time and God can fix

You’ll wrestle and rage at the idea

And eventually

You'll find peace within it

Then, just for fun

Spill your latte on your notes

Trip over your suitcase

And remember

Grief isnt something you tame

Its the hurricane you survive, however you know how

And be proud

That somehow, despite it all

You are still standing