A-Living

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-Frame Cabin. I started to chuck on the inside. My boyfriend Nick asked me what was so funny. Do you not like the place Cassie? Of course I do babe, It’s perfect! We on some A-living shit right? I chuckled again and smiled as a symbol of agreement. He slowed down then parked on the side closer to the far right of the cabin. Don’t want to block our view with this shabby car, he said as he looked at me nervous. I smiled at him and reached for his face while gazing in his eyes to give him reassurance, this is perfect babe. I could tell my comment was validating and a calmness came over him. He grabbed my hand and kissed it, Thank you babe. Okay so let’s go, he said as he opened the door with excitement.

And you know what, I wasn’t lying. Everything was perfect. I met the most perfect guy, and we lived in the most perfect neighborhood, in the most perfect brownstone apartment. I just received a promotion at the most perfect company and worked with the most perfect team. He was completely right, we were on some A-living shit! Everything was perfect, except for me.

Cassieeeeeeeee, look at this! Nick squirmed with excitement as we entered the cabin. We could see how gorgeous it was from the outside through the tall glass windows, but it still paled in comparison to the experience from the inside. In the living room there was a gigantic sofa that was about the size of my first New York Apartment with plush throw pillows perfectly place to give off an inviting but decorative feel. Behind it was a rectangle reclaimed wood dining table. On one side there was a matching reclaimed wood bench, and on the other side was upholstered velvet dining chairs with metal arms. I always admired reclaimed wood pieces. It’s so perfectly, imperfect! The kitchen was beautiful with all black cabinets and metal hardware. The Air BnB host left a large vase with a beautiful flower arrangement on the kitchen counter with a Thank You note housed between two flowers. I walked over to read it.

“Thank you, and I hope you enjoy our comfortable luxury cabin during your getaway weekend. We appreciate your stay and thank you in advance for following all house rules which you can find listed on the entryway table.” Well I guess that’s one way to get a message across.

Babe, Nick said, why don’t you hop in the shower and freshen up for the night! His recommendation wasn’t implying I’m not clean, but more so an invitation for me to relax. Nick knew showers relaxed me, like nothing else. Some people drink a glass of wine, some people take a nap, but I take a shower. Something about the water washing away the old, and the feeling of newness and freshness over my body when I get out that just calms the most stressful day. Yes babe, thank you!

As I was in the shower, I stood underneath the shower head making sure every single drop of water touched my body. Although the steam was high and the water was hot, I was NOT relaxing. Cassie, what’s your problem. This is perfect. This is what you imagined; this is what you wanted. Why are you freaking out? Maybe that was the problem. Everything was exactly what I wanted, but that just made me question, what the fu….

BABE, you good, Nick asked. You’ve been in there for a while. Yes I’m good, I responded. I’m about to get out now. Okay, he replied, I have something comfortable for you to slip into laid out on the bed.

When I walked into the bedroom there was a beautiful silk maxi nightgown with a matching silk nightgown next to it. It was gorgeous, better yet it was perfect! Hey babe, come out to the patio when you’re dressed. I have something to show you, Nick yelled from outside. As I walked through the double doors from the bedroom to the outdoor patio there were candles lit all around the hot tub, and rose petals covered the patio floor. It was perfect. He set it up, perfectly. Exactly how I wanted it. He did exactly what I asked. He was standing on the right side of the pool with his hands cuffed behind his back. Come here babe, I have something to tell you, Nick said. I walked over, and he held both of my hands.

Looking deep into my eyes, I could see his beautiful brown eyes beginning to water up. He Pulls me closer and begin to speak. It’s always been you, you have always been what I wanted. From the first time I saw you in the front row of Mrs. Wellington geometry class. He chuckles and looks down for a second then return his eyes to mine. I just, knew somehow that you were the one. No one believed that we could make it this long, but baby we proved them wrong. And I want to continue to prove them wrong for the rest of our lives. He pulls his right hand away and goes into his pocket. He kneels down and pull out a black box. Then he says, Will you spend the rest of our lives proving our love to one another Cassie? What I’m trying to say is Cassie, will you marry me?

As I’m still staring deep into his beautiful eyes, I reply. Nick…. I’m gay.