A Funny Thing Happened on The college Campus

So, it was only natural that Woody Allen, actor, screenwriter, musician,published actor (thanks to Dad, but that’s another story) and certified genius, decided to create a film there, with big stars like Timothee Chalamant, Elle Fanning, and even Selena Gomez. Yes, that Selena Gomez- she’s come an awful long way since the Disney Channel! Some students even got her autograph. (Keep in mind that Elle was younger than most students on campus here.)

However, that didn’t stop a group of young ladies (or persons….some of them were actually non-binary, which meant that they didn’t want a gender. Please don’t ask me how that logic works because I don’t know) protesting his appearance on campus. Anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock the past thirty years is all too familiar with a certain trial where Mia Farrow, his crazy ex-wife, framed him as a sexual predator, all because they were going through a nasty divorce. Who knew divorced women could be so vengeful.

One of my friends on campus, a person named Annnabelle, God Bless their soul, decided to put up a bunch of cardboard signs about how “terrible” it was to have a guy who touched his own children (which has never been confirmed.) Now, Annabelle here was a pretty ardent feminist, despite, or perhaps because of, not wanting a gender. You know, the third-wave kind who promotes games called “Tampon Run.” (Yes, that’s an actual game. It involves young women trying to navigate what appears to be a typical video game, but they use tampons as weapons.) So, it was only natural that they’d discourage Drew from having Woody Allen on campus.

Of course, I didn’t mind. In fact, I was pretty excited to meet him on campus! I still remember that fateful day, walking up to him and asking, in my perky little fangirl voice “Are you Woody Allen?”

“Does that amaze you?”

I was honestly too awestruck to answer him, let alone actually respond with anything that wasn’t flustering. And of course, it was at that point that my Dad decided to come up on campus to see what was going on, I was honestly getting more than a little mortified. “Dad, you’re embarrassing me in front of Woody Allen!”

“Well, you embarrassed him!” joked Dad.

“Not as much as those girls on campus!” I remarked back, pointing to the young ladies’ (okay, young persons’) cardboard signs protesting it.

Laughing it off, he was actually quite impressed at what I did, even calling my encounter a “brush with greatness,” whenever he talked about it with, like, anyone my family knew. And boy was it a brush with greatness- my only regret was that I didn’t get his autograph or mention any of my amazing film ideas to him. Or, for that matter, tell him he reminded me of my Grandpa.

The incident was so memorable, that I actually considered putting it in a play I’m writing about the ups and downs about my college experiences, Off to Find Myself; Be Back Soon. Of course, not everyone on campus thought it was “cool,” but what did they know? I deeply appreciated his work and was excited to have him on campus, and for me, that was what mattered. Talk about a real brush with greatness!