A Chefs’ Wife (A Chefs’ Lie-fe)

The moment they become a chef, you become the ex. Obsolete in the face of the worlds' admiration for them. Their love and talent can no longer be shared with you, it now belongs to the people and the fans that surround them. First, they single him out of the herd, then dominate his time then back you away and then lastly cut you out, the last painful nudge. All you can do is stand there and watch the person you love excel to greatness as your grip on their hand is slowly pulled away. How can ONE person grip tightly enough to someone’s hand, while on the other side, there is an entire restaurant full of people pulling from the other end…. Try to stay busy to distract oneself from the fact that I was losing him day by day, second by second, phone call by endless phone call and specialty menu by specialty menu.

Out of the two days a week you would get to see each other, you both might be in crisis; the one at home is trying to figure out how to maintain the house life successfully alone, the one at work is trying to figure out how to keep up with all the people they're in charge of demands. The persons at home now become the people, even though these are the persons who need them the most, after a while just seem to feel like those people at home, cause the trouble and then think to yourself “the persons at work, at least I can handle that, those problems I could solve.” They are in fact they ones you spend the most time with after all. You see them day in and day out, able to understand the issues, because their families and issues are the ones that you’re the most involved with and the people at home are now.... strangers. How is it the people you chose to spend your life with, are the people you treat the harshest? Those who are only looking out for their best interest at work seem just and receive energy abound, bit by bit giving away unconsciously the energy that you need for yourself. Salute to Thee! Yet surely, you become out of touch. Sorry, but surely, they become withdrawn, home so late, but surely feel trapped by the people who don’t understand them and the people they don’t understand them somehow ended up being - those they chose freely to spend their time with, the family waiting adoringly at home. Then endless blending of where you begin and where they end, who they are and where you were…that line is now burred beyond recognition.

'You' have been replaced by the restaurant, 'You' by the employees, 'You' by the corporate memos, production managers, the money and the guarantees from them that: "You can fill your life with other things, because you have the Power to do so."

The days start off long and broke and end up long and rich. It's a crazy fact that, they work so hard for so long to make a name for themselves and then world turns around and makes them even harder to keep it… They are made to believe no matter what you, will never be enough, unless you sell your soul, to be collected later…

The hard-working men out there are trying to prove Cooking isn't just what housewives, stay at home moms and "women" do. with force, focus, determination "they" can make cooking a career, a real career. The realization that cooking in a big fancy kitchen is just as thankless by guests as it is by the families that enter and sit down to the table to eat a prepared meal home. Guests come in, sit down, complain. They ask you to modify "your food" to "their taste" and then complain they could have done a better job, if they wanted to... Does that sound familiar? Do those stories sound scary similar? Let's not forget another part, employees, needy subordinates who have no idea what you had to give up to get there, no clue how of their personal life they had to sacrifice to be at the restaurants and these employee’s needs. Forever the beck and call everyman, the attention is deserved but people's insatiable "appetite for them never is satisfied. Only when there isn't a crumb left of their creative, talented and thoughtful soul is left and replaced with harsh words, withdrawn mind and stone heart, maybe not even then will they be satiated.

Imagine sitting in a restaurant or waiting at the bar, tirelessly watching the bartender or server float from one place to the next, you see that they’re overworked and see they’re busy but you also need a drink or you need to order or something to eat you put your hand up to get their attention nothing you cry out softly "hello" nothing, you say "excuse me if you have a moment" and watch them speed after the next thing. As you watch this person literally pulling their hair out to make sure all of "these “people, thousands of people needing your attention is taken care of And you’re the platinum of want to wait for them to they have a moment free, can you wait till they have a moment to take a back seat on the bus just to say excuse me I don’t mean to bother you but may I have? If your one of those people that’s willing to do that, go thirsty go hungry, congratulations welcome to the world of a chef’s wife.

So now you just hang your head watching the blur move past year after year and all of a sudden, an instant there in front of you ask you what do you need what do you want and you look up frightened and startled you say "oh nothing, I’m fine thank you." The words fell out of your mouth and instantly regret it and she watched him say OK and disappear in a blur again. You’ve lost your chance that one chance to make that connection to get what you need and you gave it away, many chances like that will happen mini., you are not becoming frustrated and used to being yelled at and tired so now that’s the only way that you can respond screaming and crying to get your way just for them to stop for a moment and just say hi, "May I get YOU a drink would you like some water?"