8 Ways I’ve Decided to Gain Back My Self Respect in 2025

We all want to be liked and respected, but sometimes, our desire to please others can get in the way of our own self-respect.

I believe so strongly that the difference boils down to authenticity.

I found myself constantly bending to accommodate others and often hide my true self and intentions.

I've been young and now old and matured, if there is one thing that has really bothered me in relationships is my ability to stand up to the issues that are bugging me and speak my mind straight to them.

I have found out that saying no to people-pleasing behaviours means choosing to value myself and my needs, even if it might disappoint others.

Being respected in life means standing your ground and showing that your opinions and feelings matter too. And believe it or not, there are certain behaviours that you need to let go of if you want people to take you seriously.

Over the years I have carefully studied this lifestyle and have distilled the solution to the following 8 rules which will form my statutory performance for 2025;

1) Always Saying Yes

One of the most common people-pleasing behaviours is my inability to say no. And trust me, being a 'yes' person can be exhausting.

Often, I find myself agreeing to things I don't want to do, purely to avoid disappointing others. But in doing so, I ended up neglecting my own needs and wants.

Remember, respect starts from within. If you can't respect your own boundaries, how can you expect others to?

Saying no doesn't mean you're being rude or unkind. It's about self-care and valuing your own time and energy.

2) Constantly Apologizing

Now, this is a tough one for me personally. I've always been the kind to over-apologize, even when it's not warranted. Anyone else relate?

It's like an automatic response, saying sorry for things that aren't even my fault. I've realized over time that it's one of those people-pleasing habits that actually undermine my self-respect.

Apologizing when you've done something wrong is a sign of maturity, no doubt. But when you apologize unnecessarily, you may inadvertently give off the impression that you're taking responsibility for things that aren't your fault or within your control.

I remember once apologizing to a colleague for not being able to take on an extra task that wasn't even part of my job description. Looking back, I see how this could have made me seem less capable or confident.

Working on this habit has been a game changer for me. I've learned to pause before saying 'sorry' and consider whether an apology is truly necessary.

3) Suppressing My Opinions

Did you know that the most respected people in any context are often those who are unafraid to voice their thoughts and opinions?

When I realised this I was shocked!

Holding back my thoughts for the sake of pleasing others can create a false image of agreeability. While it might make me seem easygoing in the short term, it can also lead to others perceiving me as someone without strong convictions or ideas.

I have come to realise that my opinions matter and sharing them encourages open dialogue and mutual respect. Of course, this doesn't mean imposing my thoughts on others, but rather expressing them constructively and respectfully.

Don't be afraid to share your ideas. You'll be surprised at how it can boost your self-respect and the respect others have for you.

4) Over Committing

Being reliable is a great trait, but over committing is a different story. It's easy to fall into the trap of taking on too many tasks or responsibilities in an effort to please others.

What happens then? In this case, I normally stretch myself too thin, compromising on the quality of my work and the time I have for myself. This leads to stress, burnout and even resentment towards those I'm trying to please.

The key here is balance.

Know your limits, understand your priorities, and don't be afraid to delegate or turn down tasks that are beyond your capacity.

I have since decided to commit to fewer tasks and complete them effectively than over commit and fall short. This will not only earn me respect but also ensure that I respect myself and my own limits.

5) Neglecting Self-care

Taking care of others is a wonderful trait I have developed over the years, but at the expense of my own well-being.

I have consistently put others' needs before my own, this sends a message to myself and to them that their needs are more important than mine. And that's simply not true.

My health, my happiness, and my dreams matter just as much as anyone else's. I no more allow my desire to please others steal away the precious time and energy I need for my self-care.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's essential. And those who truly respect you will understand and support this.

So I make sure to carve out time for activities that refill my cup, whether it's reading a book, taking a walk, writing on medium, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of coffee.

Because at the end of the day, a well-cared-for you is the best gift you can give to those around you.

6) Seeking Constant Validation

For a long time, I found myself relying heavily on others' approval to feel good about myself. Every decision, every accomplishment, seemed less significant unless someone else validated it.

But over time, I've learned that this is a dangerous path.

Constantly seeking validation from others can make you lose sight of your own worth and achievements. It can trap you in an endless cycle of trying to meet others' expectations, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and discontent.

I have learned to trust my own judgment and celebrate my own accomplishments, though this has been a journey. But it's one that has helped me grow in self-confidence and self-respect.

It's nice to be appreciated, but don't let others' opinions define your worth or success. You are enough just as you are. And that's something no one else should have the power to validate or invalidate.

7) Avoiding Confrontation

Avoiding confrontation is a common behaviour among people-pleasers. Because I always want to look like Mr. Nice, I normally shy away from confrontations and discourse that look like having a little friction.

I often find it easier to keep quiet or agree than to voice disagreement and risk upsetting someone.

However, avoiding confrontation doesn't resolve issues; it just suppresses them. Over time, unaddressed issues can build resentment and undermine relationships.

Expressing your feelings or addressing issues doesn't have to be confrontational. I now normally get this done in a respectful and assertive manner that fosters understanding and mutual respect.

Standing up for yourself or expressing your disagreement is not rude or aggressive; it's a sign of self-respect. And those who respect you will appreciate your honesty and openness.

8) Sacrificing your Dreams

My dreams and aspirations are the essence of who I am. They give me purpose, direction, and happiness.

Sacrificing my dreams to please others is perhaps the most damaging behaviour of all. It's like denying your own existence and your own worth.

I have vowed never to let go of my dreams for the sake of others' expectations.

My life is mine to live, and my dreams are mine to chase. And anyone who truly respects me will support and encourage me in pursuing them.

Life is too short to live someone else's dream.

I have embraced my dreams, and never compromising on them for anyone. This is because the greatest respect I can garner in life is self-respect, and that begins with honouring my own dreams.

We don't have forever to live on planet earth, so when we decide to live our lives pleasing others, when are we going to start living our own life.

On my death bed, one thing I should not regret is the fact that I lead my own life to the full, whether it worked or not is not the matter.

To live with the thought that you had all your dreams but lack the confidence to stand up and live them but rather fulfilled someone else's dreams is the most devastating thing to live with.

I have decided to live my dreams to the full and 2025 will be my master year.