The Trust Triangle

Author: George Carralejo

How do you connect with young players as a coach today? Why don’t young athletes "get it"? Young people just don’t care about winning like they used to. These are the types of questions and statements I hear coaches ask one another every day. While some of these comments are meant to spark reflection and challenge athletes to reach their best performance, more often they serve as an excuse for why coaches struggle to connect with today’s athlete.

Fortunately, there are countless examples of coaches who do connect—leaders who have developed the methods and traits necessary to reach this generation. Coaches such as Nick Saban, Dave Roberts, Andy Reid, Dan Lanning, and Sean McVay are all authentic to their own personalities, yet they share one common outcome: the ability to inspire people to compete to their greatest level.

I recently read an article about Los Angeles Rams head coach Sean McVay in which he discusses the concept of the “Trust Triangle.” The Trust Triangle is a powerful framework for any leader looking to build a culture of high standards and competitive greatness. McVay centers his leadership on three core principles: character, competence, and connection. When these three elements are present, trust is built—and trust ultimately drives buy-in, effort, and peak performance.

Character

As a leader, you must set the example by living with the highest level of character. Leaders who live with discipline, make sound decisions, and consistently model the right behaviors establish credibility and trust with their teams. Athletes should see in their coach someone they want to emulate—not just in sport, but in life.

When leaders set the standard through their actions, they go a long way toward earning trust. Research consistently shows that in moments of uncertainty or crisis, people do not gravitate toward the smartest or strongest individual; they look to the person with the greatest character.

Competence

Leaders must also demonstrate clear competence in their craft. When an athlete looks at a coach, the fundamental question they ask—consciously or not—is, “Can this person make me better?” A coach must possess the knowledge, proficiency, and ability to help athletes achieve their goals.

In an era dominated by social media, we are surrounded by self-proclaimed experts, most of whom are rarely right, yet never uncertain. True leadership requires more than confidence; it requires the competence to consistently put people in positions to succeed. If you want others to follow you, you must prove that you possess the ability to make them better.

Connection

Finally, McVay emphasizes the importance of genuine connection. We’ve all heard the saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Strong leaders build authentic relationships with their teams.

The best leaders see their athletes as individuals, not assets. They value people for who they are, not just for what they can produce. Athletes are not pawns on a chessboard; they are people with unique goals, motivations, and perspectives. They want to know that you care about them and that part of your mission as a leader is helping them succeed both on and off the field.

Sean McVay is one of the most successful coaches in the NFL. He became the youngest head coach in league history, the youngest to reach a Super Bowl, and the youngest to win a Super Bowl. In a relatively short time, he has established himself as an elite culture builder and a leader who maximizes human potential.

The Trust Triangle—built on character, competence, and connection—has helped transform the Rams into a perennial contender. If more coaches commit to excelling within this framework, they may find that today’s athletes do get it. They’ll connect on a deeper level and discover that competing, striving, and winning still matter deeply to this generation.

George Carralejo