Weegie Wolf? - Chapter 2 - The First Cut is the Deepest, The First Bite is the Bitterest

As this is Chapter 2, it will be best if you read Chapter 1 to understand what the hell is going on.

Read Chapter 1 here -

So, incase ye wir wondrin' why Ah wis writin' a' this pish, mah sponsor an' a psychologist suggested it would help me unnerstawn mah pure mental problems. Ah wanted tae tell ye aboot mah first... kill? Ah say kill, the daft jakey wis already deid, Ah jist did mah bit for the community like by cleanin' up the mess.

But first, Ah goat a bone tae pick... wae Gillette. A' the adverts pure say it's "the best a man can get" an' a' that pish. Which is awright for pure normal Weegies. Not for me, tho', it seems. Ah tried shavin' mah beard a fair few times the last few days since... whit happened tae me, happened an' Gilette Fusion 5 razors are pure shite, man. Mah beard grew straight back in the next day.

Anyways.

Ah wis walkin' doon Castle Street in toon, past Glasgow Cathedral, which wis lookin' pure amazing. It wis a pure braw night. The sky wis full a stars an' there wis a bit of a crisp breeze. Dead chilled oot. Wan of those days when ye feel good tae be alive. Until ye remember, I spose, that yer a pure werewolf or summat.

Ah saw him lyin' doon oan the ground when Ah wis oan mah way back up tae mah close. Ah had been noticin' mah hunger had been gettin' worse. There's only so many cats an' rats ye can eat like afore ye want summat mare substantial. Ah wisnae ready tae take oan a living breathing human, efter a' whit kinda animal dae ye take me for if ye thought Ah wad dae such a 'hing. Anyways, the poor jakey wis lyin' doon oan the ground. Ah tried talkin' tae the poor sod a few times afore Ah started nudgin' him a bit wae the toe of mah worn-oot DM's. Nae response. Ah had a pure strong urge tae sniff him... wan Ah regretted a'most right away cos he smelled like he had pished himsel'.

Ah had tae take a step back an' compose mahself, stoap mahself frae boaking. Ah even had the sweats. Wis this mah life noo?

Wan swatch of his troosers confirmed mah supicions. Lyin' doon in pishy claes, whit away tae go. Still, waste not want not, Ah figured. Dinae get a' high an' mighty aboot stuff. He wis a waster an' likely a drain oan society. Ah didnae kill him, mind. Remember, mah sponsor calls me "poster child of recovery". Ah wis pure dead hungry an' he wis there for the takin'. Bleedin' heart liberals wad rather Ah called the authorities an' had the state pay for a pauper's funeral. Piss aff. Naebody wants tae deal wae the stray dugs of society.

Yotam Ottolenghi, a pure mad Israeli-British chef and restaurateur said "If the first bite is wae the eye an' the second wae the nose, some people will never take that third, actual bite if the food in question smells too fishy, fermented or cheesy."

An' afore ye judge me, ye should know it wisnae a walk in the park for me. Ah'm no straight up defendin' mahself really, but Ah had tae eat an' summat mare fillin' than bloody cats an' rats. Ah minded hearin' some fella oan the telly wance sane that human meat wis like pork but mare bitter. Ah can attest tae that fact. Ah wisnae best impressed, tae be perfeckly honest wae ye.

Ah did the pure classic monster move of bitin' intae the poor tadger's neck. Then ah pushed his tap up an' had a chomp oan his belly an' right arm. Ah goat the dry boke when ah saw his baw hair. Ah mibbe a monster noo, but that wis far too much. Ah also made the mistake of biting at his wrist, which wis jist boney an' pure rank. He also had a dodgy, infected tat of some wee dove or summat. He's goat nae mare regrets Ah spose.

It wis chewy an' no jist cos Ah didnae cook it first. It jist didnae… taste right? It's pure tricky tae try an' describe summat you've tasted for the first time. Did it fill me up? Aye, Ah wisnae in a hurry for another meal for a good few oors. Ah'll gie the tramp that. Gordon Ramsey widnae hav' been empressed like. He'd have mibby said summat like "whit the fuck dae ye call this pish? undercooked junkie kebab supreme. Ye fuckin trying tae kill yersel', get tae fuck oot mah kitchen ye bawbag." or summat tae that affect like.

After Ah finished whit Ah could manage, Ah went tae the pub an' washed him doon w- ae some Tennent's. Seemed fittin' as Ah've always thought Tennent's tasted like pish. At first Ah thought the tough flesh mibby too tough tae bite through, but mah teeth have goat pure big an' sharp since... whitever happened tae me, happened tae me. Next time, Ah think Ah'll have tae consider choosing Ah mare upmarket victim. Ah dinnae know if Ah kin take mare pishy claes an' track line-riddled skin an' poisoned flesh. Even if Ah seem tae be immune tae the effects of whitever the fanny had taken, a junk-free guy or lassie is likely tae taste a wee bit better Ah'd have thought. Ah should really try it aroond eight tae fifteen times afore Ah decide it's nae for me. Not that Ah think Ah have a choice at this point tho'.

Ah need tae mind an' cook the meat next time.

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: So, for the week ending 11/02/25, I'm supposed to write something for the Chapters community, as part of my ABCommunities Challenge (where I will write something in a different community here on Vocal, every week of the year) So, here is Weegie Wolf, Chapter 2.

Here are some other things:

6/48