The Voice in My Head – Friend or Foe?

The voice in my head – friend or foe? It often appears throughout the day, as if it comes for a cup of coffee and decides to stay. Sometimes it lingers even through the night, but then it changes. At night, the voice starts asking me to do things different from its daytime visits. This voice is like a guest no one invites – it invites itself. It knows it is always welcome, knows I have no problem letting it into my thoughts, and knows I am ready to break the rules for it.

During the day, it’s calm, quiet. It whispers to me that everything is fine, that I’m in control. It feels like it helps me cope with life, to find solutions to the problems that trouble me. But once the sun sets, everything changes. The voice is no longer a friend. It becomes dark and dominant, its influence permeating every thought, every action. I no longer hear it just in my head – I feel it in my body. It turns into a demon that takes control.

By day, it's serene, even empowering. It feels like it’s there to help me deal with stress, with people, with pressure. But at night... Night is a different story. It wants more – it wants me to let it in. And when I do, it takes full shape. It doesn’t care about the consequences. Suddenly, I lose control of my hands and feet. They are no longer mine. I feel every movement dictated by its desires, not mine.

This demon is impatient, waiting calmly throughout the day, but when night falls, it thirsts for action. It strangles everything good in me, draining the light, leaving only darkness. I try to stop it, but the more I resist, the stronger it becomes. It controls every part of my body – every decision, every thought. I know it's dangerous, but at the same time, I know I can’t push it away.

It doesn’t scream, it doesn’t rage instantly. It simply waits for me to make the mistake that will set it free. And when that mistake happens, then nothing is the same. I lose myself.

When it’s free, it’s ruthless. Without emotion, without fear, without guilt. Ready to take everything and leave me empty. There are moments when I feel it could completely consume me, destroy me, if I let it continue. But no matter how hard I try, sometimes it seems too late – the demon is already here, and the only question is: will I survive the night?

Night is a silent killer of my peace. Once the demon awakens, I feel it slowly creeping into my mind, wrapping every thought in darkness. It’s as if the whole world shrinks, leaving me alone in the darkness. It never rushes. It never needs to. It knows I have time to give in – and it waits for the perfect moment to fully settle within me.

It begins with a soft whisper. “Now is your moment. Take what you want. No one will stop you.” I try to ignore the voice, but it grows louder, sinking deeper. “Don’t be afraid. You’re stronger than them.” At that moment, I know the game has started. The demon doesn’t just speak – it leads me. I feel my hands start to tremble. This isn’t me. This is it. And every action that follows is under its command.

My steps are heavy, every movement like a puppet pulled by strings, controlled by it. “Face everything. You’re here to take what’s yours,” it whispers in my ear, and I start to feel that strange mix of fear and excitement. I’m fighting myself and it, but it’s always one step ahead.

Sometimes, it’s as if I see the world through its eyes – cold, merciless, empty. It doesn’t understand emotions, doesn’t care about rules, doesn’t feel guilt or regret. For it, there are only actions and consequences, and it is ready to accept any consequence, as long as it gets what it wants. And what does it want? Power. Power over me. Power over anyone daring to stand in our way.

Sometimes, I see it in the mirror. It’s not my reflection, but it’s there – hiding in the darkness, in the corner of the room, watching, waiting. Its eyes are cold but filled with determination. And at that moment, when our gazes meet, I feel something deep inside me start to crumble. It’s not just a voice or a presence – it’s a part of me. And that part grows stronger with each passing night.

I often wonder what will happen when I completely lose control. Will it let me exist, or will it take everything? Every night is a battle – sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. But deep down, I know it won’t stop until it takes everything it wants.

One night, however, everything changed. The voice no longer whispered – it screamed. “I won’t leave you! You won’t escape!” My body no longer belonged to me. Every step, every movement, was its own. I was trapped, locked in my own body, and it had full control. Even my thoughts weren’t my own – every emotion drowned in that darkness.

At that moment, I realized – I can’t defeat it. It’s not just a part of me. It is me. And the more I fight it, the stronger it becomes. Maybe, just maybe, I need to accept it. Find a way to coexist with this demon, to channel it. To use its strength without letting it completely destroy me.

But this comes with a risk. If I give in, if I grant it what it wants, will I be able to come back? Or will it consume me entirely? Every day is a new test. By day, I am me – or what’s left of me. By night… by night, I am no longer sure who I am.

And while the world sleeps, the demon waits – ready for its next move.

Author: Tsvetislav Vasilev