Sea aroma

I woke up mid-morning to a strong smell of the sea. I look at the ceiling, my tired body and immobile arms move slowly to place themselves under my head. I lie on my back in the bed of that hotel I promised never to return to, but which I always loved because it reminds me of you. I can hear the waves from my sheets, there is so much calm, I barely remember how I got here, I only think about the first day we came to this same room, and I swear I can hear the moans of the times I loved you in this same bed.

The sun streaming through the window tells me that our meeting will be in just an hour. I have to get up, but everything hurts, I can barely lift my arms, and it takes an eternity to put my feet on the floor. Sitting on the bed still smelling of saltpeter, I am struck by a strange feeling of your presence in the room. I scan every inch of it in the hope of finding you, but it was just a dream, one of those you have while you are awake, a good one without a doubt.

I turn on the TV to interrupt this tormenting silence, to brighten up the few minutes left before we see each other. Intending to take a bath to restore my energy, I walk naked through the living room, looking for that gray pullover you gave me on our first anniversary. I remember we fought all night, just like on the following anniversary, it was our routine, we always believed that the best sex is the one that comes out of war. So we turned our day-to-day life into continuous battles. Maybe that was our mistake.

A woman in the mirror, resembling the one I once was, stares at me in terror, slowly imitating my every move. A large red stain covers her chest, her skin looks sore, and all I can think about is you. The news in the background catches my attention and horrifies me. They had found a lifeless body near the beach, next to the pier where we made love so many times, driven by the adrenaline of being seen. That feeling of having you near comes back and I run to the phone, I need to know about you. I absentmindedly remember the shoes I found under the table, as I check a message from you from yesterday, already read. I look at my shoes, they are full of sand, I can no longer hear the sea.