Oveda Nash Alder

You bettered my life without me even realizing it. You were like a mother to me, my safe harbor.

I always struggled with my mom's drinking growing up, she was not a pleasant drunk. But your home was always there as a safe refuge. I would stay over there as often as possible, even though as a child it could be quite the boring routine, I did not mind because it brought me comfort.

You were in a bowling league, and you loved it. Grandpa had passed when I was pretty young, and I know that's something you used to do together, so you held on to that as long as you were physically capable. I ended up going to the bowling alley with you many times, but at such a young age I was not interested in bowling. I remember you would give me a couple quarters to go play the claw machine, but I would run out so fast, that while you were taking your turn I would sneak in your purse under the chair and grab more. You had to know, because my covert skills were not great.

We would always go out to eat at Arby's or Arctic Circle afterwards, Arctic Circle being your favorite. And at home you would heat us up something simple like beef broth or cheese bread. I loved your house because I got as much pepsi as I wanted, seeing as it was your favorite drink, so you were always stocked up.

You had two recliners and a couch in your living room, one of the recliners belonged to Grandpa, you never did get rid of it. I preferred laying out on the couch though as we relaxed and watched your favorite soap opera's, my favorites though were Jerry Springer and Maurry "You are not the father!"

I remember you telling a story about how you once knocked Grandpa in the back of the head with a bowling pin for sassing off. I know you missed him a lot.

I remember your creepy old basement, and how one time I walked down there and a jar flew off the shelf behind me and shattered on the ground, and you told me it was just grandpa saying hi.

You had a spare room there, but even as I grew into a teenager I always preferred to sleep in your bed with you.

Your room was covered with piles of old boxes of dress shoes and fake jewelery Grandpa had bought you, I was constantly playing dress up in your heels and dresses. I still have the golden locket Grandpa gave you with your initials on the back, with the engraved little flowers on the front.

Oh and your little trinket shelves! I think that's where I picked up that hobby now that I'm writing this.

And of course your routine perm and nail appointments. You always made sure you were looking nice.

Whenever I'd ask you if "We" could do something, you'd always say "Who? You and the mouse in your pocket?" and laugh.

I remember your laugh, it was loud and sweet, and you spoke with a very light southern accent. I remember if I weren't at your house we would still speak often on the phone, I can still hear the way you'd end the call with "Okay, love you too, bye-bye."

I recall as you got older your daughter took your car away and it made you really sad. You weren't really the same after that. Now as an adult I can look back and see you became very depressed.

It got harder for you to take care of yourself so I became the one making the simple meals, bringing you a new cold pepsi from the fridge when you'd request, trying to help you clean. I even remember helping you in and out of the deep tub you had. I loved that tub.

One year I was informed your daughter was taking you out of your home and moving you into a elderly home, and you being so upset. I begged her not to, and begged my parents to let me move in with you to help take care of you, I was 17 at the time and knew I could take care of you. But even though my parents would agree, your daughter would not.

At the home you started showing signs of dementia, and when I would call you would think I was my cousin at first, but then always seemed to remember me. You were moved three hours from me so it made seeing you on a regular basis difficult.

I would try and call often, even though I was now building a family of my own. We were lucky enough to get 4 generation pictures taken with my daughter's before you passed. I treasure those photos.

The day I got the call that you passed it felt like a piece inside of me died. It's crazy so many years have passed but I still can't contain my tears writing this.

Me and the mouse in my pocket will always remember the love you taught and shared. I hope I'm making you proud. I love you Great Grandma Alder.