Love Letters To No One: Letter #2

Sometime in 2018

Dear No One,

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past two months, and in that time, I have written a lot of things, and then I came up with this crazy idea, which is to write you letters. I’m writing you a book of letters. I know that seems insane, but there is so much I want to say to you, so much I want to talk to you about, so many things I want you to know. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but in the time that I have known you, I have figured a few things out. I think the whole premise of us meeting must have been some greater power in itself. Sometimes I just think to myself, how is it that we went to the same high school, knew some of the same people, were even in some of the same places at the same time, and yet, we didn’t really know each other? And how does it just so happen that years later, we meet each other and discover all these things? I’m the kind of person that believes that everything happens for a reason, and that’s why I really think, there must have been some reason, some force greater than the both of us, that led us to each other like this. I can’t think that that’s just coincidence, because in my mind, it’s not.

In the time that I have gotten to know you a bit better, I’ve just been amazed by all of the great things you have taught me, just by me knowing you just a little bit. You have this great way of instantly making me feel happy as soon as I see you. You have so much passion, and talent, and happiness. Just the way you carry yourself from day to day is something that I admire so greatly. I look up to you for inspiration in my music, and I look to you as a true friend, someone that I care deeply about. You are so understanding and compassionate to everyone you meet, and that’s what makes you such a beautiful and genuine person.

Remember a long, long time ago (well several months ago), when you sent me your songs? After I had sent mine to you? (And boy oh boy was I scared of sharing those with you!) You see, I think sharing music with others is a very intimate thing. It lets us into the musician’s soul, it gives us the opportunity to feel what they are feeling. I can’t even express fully in words what a powerful effect your music had on me. I remember laying in bed and listening to those songs, and just, automatically I felt so connected to what you were saying, and feeling, the pain, and the beauty in all of it. I cried, and I listen to them again. I think that night I must have listened to those songs at least five times. I know that’s crazy. But honestly I was truly, truly, touched by your music.

Do you know how you have that power over people? This amazing power to just appreciate and really feel the passion you put into your music. I think the second time that happened for me was a few months ago, when you were playing, and I was attempting to play, haha. Just listening to you drum is like an otherworldly experience for me. (Yes, you have that effect on me too). The passion that you put into your drumming, makes me feel, all sorts of things; I feel joy, I feel happiness, I feel passion. Yes, your drumming does that.

All the while I’m sitting here thinking about all these things and wondering to myself how there is someone so perfect in this world. You are amazing. You are an amazing human being. Your passion for music, and life, and everything, is contagious. Whenever I come here, I hope that you are working, because it’s not the same in there without you. When I go there and you aren’t there, everything just seems, less exciting, just, boring honestly. Not that my favorite place could ever be boring, because it’s not, but, when you are there, it’s like this beautiful light fills the room. I see it. You light up everything with your beautiful soul, and I can’t seem to get enough of it. I just want to be wherever you are, because wherever you are, must be happiness, and truth, and love, and life, and peace, and paradise. I swear, I’m not making this up. This is how I really feel. It’s this weird feeling that has taken over me and I don’t ever want it to leave, honestly, because it’s a wonderful thing, and you are wonderful. Do you even realize how wonderful you truly are? In case you didn’t, here’s a long letter describing just how perfect you are to me. :)

I can’t even completely tell you in words how much you have impacted my life. I think you are one of the reasons that I am such a strong person now. That I’m able to be strong and keep moving forward. When I was younger, and even a few years ago, I was trapped. I was depressed, I didn’t know what the future held. I was oblivious to all of the negative things in my life, things that kept bringing me back to that depression, things that just kept me from being happy. Yes, I had thought about ending my life many times.

But I know now that I’m stronger than that, and I deserve the life I’ve always wanted, and I deserve to be happy, and that I’m a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. You taught me that. You taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to, you taught me to love, live, to dream, to enjoy all of the small moments of life. Yes, you taught me that. You taught me that there is so much more that I want for myself. I still have work to do on all of those things, but when you are there, just behind me, pushing me to succeed, supporting me, helping me, I feel better. I feel happy when you are there, supporting me, talking to me, smiling at me. You are everything. You are everything to me. There’s no other way for me to say that.

The time I’ve spent not seeing you the past few weeks have been so hard. I want to talk to you. I want you to talk to me. I miss you. I miss you now more than ever before because I have realized what a truly important person you are in my life, and how much I want you to be there, and stay there. I want you in my life, because you are the best person I know. You are truly one of the greatest people I know. You are so special to me. And that’s why I’m writing you these letters. Because even when you aren’t here, I want you to know that I’m always thinking of you. I’m smiling and thinking of this amazing person and everything he has helped me accomplish. I’m thinking of this wonderful person who instilled a passion in me I didn’t know I had. Someone who makes every day that I see him the best part of my day. Two minutes seeing you is better than any other two minutes of the day. I hope you know, just how much of a person you are; a beautiful person. And when I think of that beautiful, caring, loving personality. I think of someone else I used to know, a long time ago. Sometimes, I think of this other person, who had the same passion and love and joy in his eyes, someone who was a beautiful soul too. You know who I am talking about. He would be proud of that, you know. Of the person you are, of the amazing things you have accomplished.

I know that you have mentioned some rough parts of your life to me sort of in passing, but honestly, think about it this way; nobody’s life is perfect. Everyone has their troubles. I wouldn’t love you any less if you had told me you had done something absolutely horrible in the past, because I see you now, and I see what a truly genuine and wonderful person you are. I have made a lot of mistakes in my past too, I’ve done a lot of stupid things. I’ve acted like such a fool, so many times. I understand some of those things you talk about that bother you or upset you because I’ve felt those things before too. I think that’s another reason why we get along so well, because I understand. I get it.

What I was really getting at here though is that I want you to read these letters. I want you to read each one and just think about them. I’m not asking you to talk to me, or call me, or whatever. You don’t have to do that. But I’m hoping that you will. That is entirely up to you. I just hope that in reading these you will better understand a little more about who I am, and understand how important you are to me.

Love,

Someone