Knotted Roots - Part 9

I spent the past few days pondering how to ask Mr. Cross to date Jane, a tradition long forgotten by modern society, but expected here. Jane deserved better, but she wants me, knowing my brokenness, my past, she has always been there, waiting in the background all this time. Perhaps, I never saw her for who she was? I never saw her as a woman, until I saw her dolled up recently, a woman. Jane had a certain way of making me feel comfortable in my own skin, relaxed. Maybe this wouldn’t be a forever thing, but it was something worth tryin’. I pulled on my work gloves and yanked up on the hay bale in the barn and carried it outside, “Hey stranger!” My ears rang that familiar voice, one I haven’t heard in a few weeks, one I had nearly forgotten. “Grace?” Her bright smile toyed with my emotions. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say as I placed the hay bale in a nearby hay basket perched on the horse pen. “What’re you doin here?” My tone was dry, keeping my distance, a slight annoyance to my tone. “What’s got you in a fuss darlin?” She asked sashaying over to me, her arms reaching for my neck. I gently grabbed her wrists and stepped back. “Grace…stop.” My face stern, dropping her arms at her side, “What’s wrong Jasper?” Grace’s face twisted from joy to concern, “Why are you here Grace?” “Well, I hadn’t seen you in nearly two weeks!” “You should leave Grace…” My voice short, turning to head back into the barn. “What?” I pushed past every memorable pulse of the night we shared, remembering the heart wrenching moment I found her with Greg hours after. How she broke me. “You haven’t seen me in weeks and you’re just goin’ to shoo me off like I mean nothin’?” Grace challenged, her boots stomping towards me as I continued to make my way into the barn. “You don’t turn your back on me Jasper Black!” I quickly spun on my heel, inches from her, challenging her rage as I stood as tall as ever. “You answer me!” “I’m just done, Grace, okay?” Controlling my voice to a low grumble instead of yelling. I wasn’t trying to be mean, I just needed to set the boundary. Just then, Grace’s phone rang, “You should probably take that, might be Greg.” I sneered as I brushed past her. I needed to get space, to get away. I could hear Grace answer the phone saying Greg’s name. “I knew it…” I muttered my eyes rolling over.

Storming into the house, I grabbed a glass of iced water, and chugged it. I could see Grace get into her truck and drive away. I breathed a heavy sigh, rubbing my temples. I was proud of myself for fighting the urge to swoop her up and kiss her, to make love to her, that was the old me. The new me is disciplined, and respectful towards a new interest, a new love. Jane. It would’ve destroyed everything I’ve worked so hard to become. I gave a quick prayer of gratitude, and opened my phone, seeing Jane had messaged me while I was in the barn. If I was willing to step into my faith, to uphold my promise of becoming a better man, a man worth Jane’s affection, then it’s time I had that talk with Mr. Cross. After interacting with Grace, feeling the way she caused my body to tingle for all the wrong reasons, I knew I needed to protect myself, distance myself from her. The best way for her to get the hint, is to see I’ve moved on. Falling for Jane was simple, so maybe that’s how I’ll approach Mr. Cross? “Pa! I’ll be home late! Dinner’s in the fridge!” I could hear Pa bless my outing, and I grabbed my truck keys and drove across town to Jane’s. I approached her house slowly, my old truck rumbling into her driveway. With a quick turn of the key I cut the engine and took a deep breath as I approached. Gently tapping my knuckles against the wooden door. When Mr. Cross answered, a look of surprise on his face. “Jasper? I’ll go let Jane know you’re here.” “Actually Mr. Cross, I was here to see you. And Jane, but, I was hoping to talk to ya ‘bout somethin’ first if that’s alright?” “Oh? Go on ahead.” “You asked me a couple weeks ago what my intentions were with your daughter.” “Yes?” His face contorting into a blur of confusion and a fathers’ protective glare. “Well, I’m just goin’ to get to the point. I’d like your blessing to date Jane.” “You want to date Jane?” “Yes sir.” “You know this changes a few things?” “Yes Mr. Cross. I’m at your mercy here.” “Well, so long as you know you’re a dead man walkin’ if you ever hurt my lil girl.” “You have my word Mr. Cross.” I extended my hand as a mutual understanding, a broad smile replacing my nerves. Releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding! Mr. Cross shook my hand, and then surprisingly pulled me into a bear hug! “I was waitin’ for you to strap up your boots and ask, come on in boy!” We made our way into the living area where Mrs. Cross had been sitting, “Jasper! Ain’t this a fine surprise!” “Always a pleasure Mrs. Cross.” I replied, embracing her hug. “Jasper?!” I heard Jane’s bare feet practically clodding down the stairs. Mr. Cross gave me a wink. I patiently waited for her to round the corner. She was dressed in her usual comfortable denim shirt, jeans, her hair in a messy bun. “Jane.” Trying to suppress a chuckle as I found her simplicity to be utterly adorable. “What’re you doin here?” “Just thought I’d drop by.” “You live across town!” “I could leave if you’d like.” I teased, “I’m just sayin’ you could’ve warned a girl!” She recoiled, playfully punching my arm. “My apologies ma’am. I’ll be sure to notify you of my presence from now on.” “Ahem…” Mr. Cross cleared his throat, pretending to sip on a nearby glass of water. I took the hint, the nudge to ask Jane properly. “Why don’t we take a walk?” She nodded, and I offered her my arm as we made our way to the front door. Grace slipped on some rugged boots before we headed outside. I wasn’t sure how to begin, so I didn’t say anything, enjoying her company was enough for now. Unlike earlier with Grace, I felt weightless, freed. “So, what’s on your mind cowboy?” Before answering Jane, I breathed in the air and glanced down searching those curious Arizona colored eyes. “Well now that I have you all to myself…” I murmured, slowing our steps to a halt, neatly tucking a strand of her hair away from her eye and then tracing her jaw. My eyes follow every move of my fingertips, every subtle shift of her skin, everything. “I wanted to know if you, Jane Cross, would like it if we were dating?” “Datin’?” “Or do you need convincing?” I teased, my stubbled beard brushing her neck. “What about asking my father?” She prodded, “He gave me his blessing. He also threatened my life if I ever hurt you, but…blessed nonetheless.” I chuckled as I embraced her, my arms low around her hips. Her neatly thinned brows arching as if considering the proposition. A sense of relief slipped from her knowing her father had approved of me. Enjoying the suspense entirely too much, “Will this be an accepting answer?” She breathed, as she popped up on her tip toes, her soft lips pressing against mine, I loved how she tasted like strawberries. I returned with gentle kisses at first, struggling to contain myself as the heat rose in my core. Kissing her deeply, quickly traveling down her neck, until I could hear how breathless she was. I couldn’t cross that line with Jane, I couldn’t mark her with sin. She was a righteous, God-fearing woman. I couldn’t tempt her or myself any further. “I take it that was a yes?” I asked, breathless. Exchanging a playful smirk as we settled back into our boots, catching our breath. “Let’s lay down some ground rules.” I began, trying to catch my breath, “Like?” “Well for starters, no sex.” Jane’s eyebrows shot up, utter surprise on her face. She knew I had already dabbled in that sinfulness before. “I agree, but…” “Non-negotiable Jane. I told you I wanted to be a better man, and you deserve that. I promise to contain myself. The bible advises against it, and I want to honor that with you Jane.” Jane’s eyes appeared to have melted as I spoke about the bible. “Okay, second rule?” “We’ll be honest with each other. Open communication, always.” “I can agree to that, anything else?” “We attend church. Together. I’ll pick you up every Sunday from now on. I won’t promise I’ll always be in that pretty lil Chevelle though.” A quiet laugh escaped her, “Anything else?” “I think that sums it up. Unless you have anything?” She gave me a light kiss, “Let’s get back inside cowboy. It’s gettin’ late, why don’t you stay for dinner?” “I’d love to darlin’.” With that, we made our way back to the house where the smell of freshly baked biscuits and the sizzlin’ sound of stir fry saturated the air.

—

Greg had interrupted me questioning Jasper, pleading for me to get into town right away, saying it was urgent. Yet, I couldn’t shake the thought of Jasper, was he angry? At me? He didn’t seem dissatisfied after our little dance in the moonlight, after he ruined me in the most sensual way. The way your body recalled that night made you shiver, how recalled secretly begging for him. I had to shake those dreamy thoughts away and get into town to check on Greg.

As I rolled into town, I saw Greg leaning against a brick wall. Holding a bouquet of flowers. “What’s going on Greg?” I was confused, he said it was urgent, like somethin’ bad had happened. “Walk with me, beautiful.” Greg asked, and that’s when I saw he was wearing a finely pressed suit, perfectly tailored to his lean build. He wore a dressy black cowboy hat. And the way my breath catches every time his blue eyes meet mine. I loved Jasper, but there was something about Greg that always sucked me in. “Why don’t I take you shopping? Hmm?” “Shopping?” “You’ve been lost in your own world up there, it’s time to pamper my lil princess.” He said, kissing my head and grabbing my hand. “Oh, okay.” I was in my most casual attire, comfortable and underdressed significantly compared to Greg. “I want to take you out tonight, I have reservations at an extravagant steakhouse, I’d love to buy you the perfect outfit for dinner.” He whispered in my ear as his arms snaked around my waistline, “Greg…” “Just say yes.” “Y-yes.” I breathed, his intoxicating affect on me made me breathless as always. “That’s my good girl, hmm.” He murmured, giving me an ever so gentle kiss before leading me downtown and in and out of shops. Greg waited outside the dressing room as I tried on several dresses before selecting a low cut, backless red dress. The way it framed my curves even made me swoon over myself. Now all I needed were shoes! I took the dress to the counter where the saleswoman agreed to hold the dress for me, shielding it from Greg’s view with an oversized bag. I quickly made my way over to pick out a sparkly pair of stilettos, covered in shimmering rhinestones as if they were diamonds. “All set love?” Greg’s hands rubbed over my shoulders. “Yes, all set.” Greg didn’t even flinch as he swiped his card, sometimes I wondered if he was made of money. Greg insisted on carrying the bags, and I clutched the bouquet from earlier. My arm curled around his as we made our way back to our cars. “I’ll be at your house early, it’s a bit of a drive. So go straight home and get ready, love. I’ll be there soon.” I revved the truck and followed Greg’s orders.

Once home, I showed my mom the beautiful bouquet as she quickly grabbed them from my hand and placed them in a vase. “What’s all that dear?” She asked, unable to ignore the shopping bags. “Greg’s got a special dinner planned for us tonight. He’ll be here soon, so I gotta go get ready!” A small thrill of excitement escaped me as my mom’s loving smile grew. “Oh! He did mention somethin’ bout takin’ you to a fancy dinner. I love seeing you so happy dear, now go on!” My mother always assured me that she accepted Greg, accepted him as part of the family. As I pulled myself into the dress, I began painting my face, following along to a YouTube tutorial trying to replicate a stunning and simplistic look of glamour. “Oh my!” My mother’s voice caught at the sight of me. “Ma!” “You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman Grace.” My mother stated, looking me over with such pride and love. I could tell she wanted to ask me something behind that smile though, “I hope he makes you happy Grace. That’s all I want for you.” Seeing her concern, I assured her, “He does Mama.” We shared a light hug so as not to smudge my makeup or undo my hair that I so elegantly pinned. “You look like a movie star sweetie!” She exclaimed, taking another look at me. “Thank you Mama.” That’s when I could hear Greg’s mustang rumbling outside, “I’d better get downstairs.” Mama nodded and as I rounded the landing, Greg, still as stunning as earlier, was at the front door talking with Pa, who hadn’t seen me dolled up yet. “Wow…” Greg looked speechless for the first time since I could remember. Greg’s reaction caused Pa to turn around, taken aback by seeing me as a grown woman. “You look beautiful, honey bee!” Pa exclaimed, wrapping me into a warm hug. “Be careful honey…” He whispered so only I could hear him before letting go of me, as if warning me of something. “I will Pa.” I gripped his arm lovingly, and gave him that, ‘I’m all grown up’ look. Greg’s jaw was still nearly on the floor, his eyes fixated on me, an unreadable storm in his eyes. “We’d better get goin’ love, it’s quite the drive to the steakhouse.” “Where y’all headin’?” Pa asked, polite but firm. “I was able to snag reservations at the Oak.” “The Oak?!” My mother exclaimed, “Why, that explains things!” My mother, excited for me, waved us off, and leaned on my father, as if helping him to come to terms that I was going to be okay.

The ride was longer than most, but as we exited our sleepy lil’ western town I was blown away by all the lit up skyscrapers that we could barely see past the mountaintops. “It’s beautiful here…” I was like a child, wanting to see everything! Greg’s low chuckle enjoying my childlike joy. “We’re here.” Greg announced, as he ran over to open my door, something he doesn’t typically do, a featherlike kiss landing on my hand. “Grace, you look breathtaking tonight. I hope you’ll find this to be a memorable experience.” “It already is Greg!” I exclaimed, taking in the sights of a busy, sleepless town. We headed into the Oak, where everyone looked like butlers, Greg broke away to check us into the restaurant. “Mr. Combs, Ms. Withers.” Greg extended his arm for me to take hold of, as we followed the man to a secluded table set for two. “This is supposed to be the best seat in the house, private, and VIP service.” Greg boasted, “Wow…I…” “Shh! Your presence is enough, my love.” Greg’s hands clasped over mine stretching across the table. We basked in delicacies and filet mignon! Enjoying each other for the first time in what felt like ages with senseless conversation and memories. We’d been datin’ for nearly two years now, and this is by far the most expensive and most elegant date I could ever imagine. The butler brought a bucket of their finest champagne on ice with two flute glasses. I watched as if mesmerized by the little bubbles dancing in the pink liquid as the butler poured our glasses. “Rose`” Greg stated, raising his glass to mine. Which was when I noticed the extravagant diamond ring perfectly laced around the base of the flute glass. Careful not to drop the filled glass of champagne, or damage the ring. I set the flute down, catching my breath! Was Greg proposing?! Finally?! Was I ready for that? It’s not like you didn’t want this to happen! Greg stood, gently freeing the ring from the red ribbon that secured it. Where I also noticed the etching in the glass, “Marry me?” I was on the verge of tears! Caught in a whirlwind of emotions! Greg dropped to one knee, presenting the ring to me, allowing the dim lights to catch each cut of the oval diamond in the center, the smaller diamonds haloing around it. “Grace Withers, you’ve been by my side as my girlfriend, and now…” Greg’s perfectly timed pause added a butterfly effect to my already pounding chest. “It’d be an honor if you’d be my wife. Will you marry me, Grace Withers?” With tears streaming down my face, I steadied myself, barely able to breathe “Y-yes…” As if gasping for air, Greg quickly slid the ring onto my finger, and brought me to my feet. “Now, let’s get you out of this dress, huh?” Greg’s words low, a huskiness lingering on my neck from him being so close. We made our way to a gorgeous hotel with marble floors. “Don’t even worry princess, your parents already know I’ve claimed you for the night.” Greg sounded confident. He knew the worry I had about my parents would’ve tormented me as we usually never stayed anywhere. Don’t you need to check in?” I asked him as he pulled me towards an elevator, “Already did.” He presented two room keys with a devilish grin on his face. I laughed, surprised at how much he had planned tonight. The elevator doors opened to a single door, on the top floor. “Is this…” Greg swiped the card key revealing a penthouse suite. “Greg, you've spent a fortune!” “I’m not concerned about the money Grace. Neither should you. Money will never be a worry for you or your family ever again.” He said embracing me with a hot kiss. His kiss was rushed, sloppy, needy. And I equally ached for the sexual tension to ease, to find release! Greg carried me into the bedroom, gently laying me on the bed. Stepping back as he undressed his shirt. “You’re mine Grace. I’ll help you forget that ruffian friend of yours tonight.” His voice was dark, like a storm, did he know I slept with Jasper?! “I-” Greg’s lips crashed onto mine, “I don’t want you to think anymore Grace.” His voice was harsh, yet enticing, it made me ache for him. “That’s it, love. Let go of your past and embrace your future.” Greg and I danced under the sheets all night, I was utterly ruined, exhausted and I felt more than satisfied. My mind replayed from earlier, how Jasper seemed angry, how he looked defeated. Did Greg tell Jasper? Is that why he was shunning me? Jasper wouldn’t get in the way of my happiness, but was I happy? If marrying Greg meant losing Jasper, was I okay with that? I fidgeted with the ring on my finger, it must’ve been at least two carats! The white gold and diamonds dazzled even under the smallest amount of light. God, am I making the right choice? Trying to push away my restlessness, I forced my eyes to shut and I laid there until I drifted to sleep.