Jimmy McGrue And His Big Bucket Of Goo

There was nothing very special about Jimmy McGrue. He wasn’t a tall kid, but he wasn’t short either. He wasn’t a fat kid, but he wasn’t thin either. And he wasn’t a good student, but he wasn’t a bad student either. In fact, of all the kids in Year 2 at Wilson’s Heath Primary, Jimmy was the one kid who was just like any other kid.

Given this situation you might think that Jimmy McGrue was not the sort of student who would leave an impression on the staff and faculty of any school he attended. So why is it that if you were to mention the name Jimmy McGrue to anyone at Wilson’s Heath Primary they might be likely to turn a blistering red in the face with anger, or start trembling with spontaneous terror, or start sobbing uncontrollably, or even just run screaming from the room?

The answer lies in the events of the 5 May 2009, a Tuesday, or as it has become known in the history of Wilson’s Heath Primary - Goo-day!

Tuesday morning was ‘Show and Tell’ time in Miss Johnson’s Year 2 class. That Tuesday Sharon Blair had brought her Cambodian Princess doll which her father had brought back for her after a business trip. For her excellent report on Cambodian culture Sharon had received her usual A+. And Jeremy Rhodes had brought in a toad which he had caught in the local creek and he had received his usual B+.

And Jimmy? Well Jimmy brought in his favourite thing in the whole world. Jimmy brought in a big bucket of goo. A big, smelly bucket of goo. A big smelly, slimy, green, gooey, bucket of goo.

‘A bucket of goo?’ cried Mrs. Craddup. ‘Disgusting! C- .’

‘C- ????’ thought Jimmy. ‘I’m Jimmy McGrue! I’m not tall but I’m not short. I’m not fat but I’m not thin. And I’m not a good student but I’m not a bad student either and while I don’t get A’s, I certainly don’t get C’s.’

Jimmy felt so shocked he didn’t even notice Sharon Blair poking her tongue at him. Then he felt confused. Then he felt angry. And then he let his anger get the better of him and he decided to get revenge.

So at lunch time he sneaked into all the classrooms and put goo on the ends of the overhead fans. Then he sneaked into the boy’s toilets and poured goo in all of them. Then he sneaked into the girl’s toilets and poured goo into all of them too. And then he put goo through the slots of all the lockers of students he didn’t particularly like, and in some of the lockers of students he actually did like!

When the students returned to their classrooms after lunch the teachers of course turned on the overhead fans. As they speeded up goo started flying everywhere. It splattered all over the walls. It splattered all over the desks and the blackboard too. It splattered all over the students and it splattered all over the teachers. And best of all, in Jimmy’s classroom, it especially splattered all over Sharon Blair!

The teachers and the students rushed out into the corridors to escape but when students opened their lockers to put their books away, they found even more goo. You see the lack of air and the heat inside the lockers had made the goo start to bubble and expand, and when each locker was opened a torrent of goo burst out all over the poor unsuspecting owner.

And by now nature had taken its course and students had started to use the toilets. But the water in the toilets had made the goo react and as each toilet was flushed goo exploded everywhere, covering the unlucky victim and sending more goo streaming out into the corridors.

Wilson’s Heath Primary had never known a day like this one. There was goo in the classrooms and goo in the corridors, goo pouring down the stairways and goo seeping out the doors.

At this point news helicopters appeared overhead, anxious to capture live pictures of goo-covered teachers and students fleeing from a situation that the media was describing as a complete goo-fest.

Then the police department arrived, ready to take control of things. But the police chief took one look at all the goo and declared that the situation was now a goo epidemic

Then the fire department arrived, with their ladders and hoses ready to fight the ever advancing tide of goo. But as we already know, goo and water don’t mix, and the fire hoses just made things even gooier. So much so the fire chief exclaimed that the situation was now a goo-tastrophe.

Then the town’s Mayor arrived and took one look at the situation before calmly stating that this was the worst goo related incident that he could ever remember. And everyone agreed that it must be, because everyone knew the Mayor had a particularly good memory.

And the Mayor shook his head in dismay and quietly asked, ‘Who is responsible for this mess?’

Well a hundred heads turned, and a hundred fingers pointed, and a hundred voices answered ‘It was him. It was Jimmy McGrue and his bucket of goo.’

Jimmy of course knew he was in big trouble. But he didn’t mind. Because he had done something that no one had thought possible.

He had made an ‘A’ grade mess!