From Her Window Part 2

If you haven't read part one, stop. Click on this link and it will take you to Part 1 by Rowan Finley!

“Ah, Maxine…do you know where you are?” The nurse at my bedside asked in a soft tone. “Umm…” Before I could answer the nurse began assessing my vitals and I wasn’t sure what to say, the mailman’s blood splattering and lifeless body flashed before me once more. “I was in an ambulance…the mailman….” I began as if caught between two different memories strung together as one. “There there…I’ll check back in a few, for now try to drink some water and rest.” The nurse pushed the bedside table over my lap on the bed and left with the door shut behind her. I watched her as if unsure of what to do and saw a well-dressed man outside my room exchanging a brief conversation with the nurse. The man looked over at my door and saw me watching them, and it was then he abruptly ended the conversation with her and began to open the door to my room, “She needs rest!” The nurse frustrated following him in. “Ma’am I don’t need to remind you that I am here investigating a murder…I suggest you walk away before I find you obstructing this investigating.” His voice was stern and his eyes piercing the nurses’ establishing dominance in the room. The nurse shook her head and raised her hands in frustration, “I’m just saying you need to give her some time…” The nurse flashed me a half smile and apologetic eyes as she left my room. “Ah…sorry you had to see that ma’am.” “It’s fine…” I said pushing the bedside table away and tucking my knees into my chest, the thin white blanket nestled under my chin to find comfort and warmth. I wish I hadn’t seen anything…I’d be back inside my home, safe, invisible. “Let’s start over, I am Detective Brett Grayson, and you are?” “Maxine, just Maxine…” “Well Ms. Maxine, it’s a pleasure to meet you although I wish it were under different circumstances.” He flashed a genuine and somewhat contagious smile; I couldn’t help but reply in kind. “Well Mr. I mean Detective…” “Oh, please call me Brett.” “Right, Brett. I know you’re here to question me but honestly, I can’t seem to find the words. I want to help, I just don’t know how.” “How about we start at the beginning.” “What part?” “When you woke up. How did you start your day?” “Well…” I smiled as I thought about my plants, “I was watering my indoor plants making sure they had the right amount of water and sunlight! I was admiring how they were growing…” My smile was from ear to ear as I spoke of my plants. “What kind of plants do you own?” “You want to know about my plants?” “Well, uh yeah. I do.” “Well, I have several succulents, they grow so easily, and hanging by my window is a beautiful Burros Tail, it’s a type of succulent but oh so beautiful with its tail like limbs cascading from its pot. I was admiring that specific plant before…” “Before what?” He asked softly leaning in, eager for me to dive into the gory details. That's when my ears were filling with something similar to that of water, only able to hear the thudding sounds of my heart beating from within my skull! His voice became drowned out and my eyes dropping to the floor as if fixated, it was becoming harder to breathe. “Maxine! Maxine dear!” The nurse rushed in and adjusted my bed, so I was semi-flat and frantically fixing my machine and assessing my vitals. “Maxine you’re okay, you’re safe just breathe. You’re experiencing a panic attack. Breathe.” As hard as it was to hear, I did what she said and a few moments later I began feeling my body relax and settle down again as she pushed some medication through my IV in my arm. “I’m sorry…” I began, “No, don’t be Maxine, you just need rest.” The nurse patted my shoulder, and I felt as if she was like a mother to me the way she wanted to protect me and comfort me. It was nice, but I wasn't sure what to say or how to thank her. The nurse darted her eyes towards Brett, who was still in the room writing on his notepad. Brett stood, smoothing his outfit he glanced at the nurse unapologetically, and then over to me with his eyes softening. They were a crisp green, almost metallic like, and I couldn't help but to smile at him. “I’ll be back in the morning Maxine. Until then, try to rest like the nurse said.” The nurse began making sure I was comfortable and brought in a tray of food for me to pick at. “Maxine, I know you’ve had a very long, rough day, but you are safe here. The doctor will be in soon to inform you of what’s going on. If you need anything, anything at all, push the nurse button on your remote here okay.” I nodded, thankful for her genuine care as she left the room.

There I was, alone and in a germ-infested building. I could only trust in the words of the nurse. Now the only voice I hear is my own, wondering how I ended up in this situation. Why was it me that had to see this horrific murder? I just want to be home; I want to be safe! Not in a hospital where there is literally every germ known to man! Resting my head back and shutting my eyes in frustration, I let out a quiet sigh when I heard a few knocks rapping at the door outside. An older man with a white coat waltzed in. “Maxine, you’re awake! I’m Dr. Thomas and I understand you are in quite the predicament here.” He greeted me as he reached out his hand that I refused to take, disgusted by what kind of germs could be on him. He quickly rescinded his hand and sat beside me. “You could say that again. Sorry about the handshake, I just uh…don’t get out much.” “Oh, no hard feelings, I can only imagine what you’re processing right now.” “Yeah, it’s uh difficult.” “I’d say, witnessing another’s untimely death has that effect on us. Speaking of, how are you processing everything?” “I don’t know, I don’t think I know how. It’s like every time I close my eyes or recollect what happened it’s like it’s playing over in front of me, like a movie! And I'm forced to watch it over and over again!” “Ah, and how do you feel when this occurs?” “I feel awful! I feel like I shouldn’t have seen anything, and then I did, and I ask myself why?!” I didn’t realize I was screaming until Dr. Thomas had brought his hands up and down as if to re-establish a sense of calm. “I imagine this was very traumatic for you?” “Yes!” “It’s important to grieve, to process, and more importantly to heal.” “Yes! I want to be healed, and I want to forget it ever happened!” “Forgetting will not help in your healing Maxine; it’ll merely be a band-aid over a gushing wound. It’ll help for a few moments, but ultimately that wound is going to breakthrough, and you need to have coping mechanisms to help counteract when that occurs.” “Coping mechanisms?” “Yes, one is box breathing, it regulates the body while experiencing a traumatic event or memory.” “Right, so I need to breathe…” I nodded frantically and tried to focus on breathing like they helped me do earlier. “There you go, count to four as you breath in and five when you breathe out. While you continue to do that exercise, let’s talk about why you’re here Maxine. The responders found you in a severe case of shock outside your home after you witnessed a traumatic incident. I recommend that you remain here for the next couple of days due to your heartrate. I don't feel comfortable releasing you, it's constantly fluctuating in severe spikes, and especially at rest. This is most likely while you’re sleeping and reliving that awful moment.” My eyes darted to him, he was right, I was living a nightmare and even sleeping I couldn’t escape from it. “I want to reassess in two days, if you show improvement, you’ll be on your way home. And until then, I will assign a therapist to visit once per day and maintain your medications as needed which will help your body calm faster if need be.” With that, Dr. Thomas quickly rose from his seat and bolted out of the door. Two days?! Ugh!

Will Maxine be able to remain calm during the morning's interrogation with the detective? Will she be able to overcome her fears of being outside her home? Time will tell. Stay tuned for Part 3 by Rowan Finley.