Effects of Love

Love is a complex feeling, and our brains play a significant role in it. When you first fall for someone, you might feel euphoric and obsessed with them. This initial stage, called infatuation, is driven by a brain region called the ventral tegmental area (VTA), which releases the "feel good" neurotransmitter dopamine. This makes you want to be with the person more. During this phase, you might overlook flaws in your partner due to reduced activity in the critical thinking part of your brain.

As the relationship deepens, you enter the attachment or compassionate love stage. Here, hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin promote trust and commitment. These hormones also help bond families and friends. Spending time with your loved one can feel relaxing due to oxytocin's stress-reducing effects. However, as the relationship progresses, you may see your partner more realistically, including their imperfections.

When a relationship ends, the brain processes the pain of heartbreak similarly to physical pain. The insular cortex, responsible for processing both physical and social pain, gets activated. This leads to intense feelings of longing and distress. Activities like exercise and spending time with friends can help alleviate this distress and trigger the release of dopamine, making the healing process easier with time and support.

Now let's look at the effect of our opinions on other individuals' love lives.Why should your opinion as a parent matter and how should we deal with youngsters in love? It is no surprise that words carry weight. They linger on in the mind for a lifetime. But why is it that even the most sound advise doesn't seem to reach youngsters?

Many people are inclined to do the opposite of what they're told, especially when they're told not to do something. This tendency can be explained by reactance theory, which suggests that when people feel their freedom is threatened, they act to restore it. This behavior can manifest as frustration, argument, or simply doing the forbidden thing. While this behavior can be observed in various situations, such as public health campaigns and parent-child relationships, there are cases where being forbidden from doing something makes it less tempting.

For example, a study in 1972 explored whether romantic relationships facing parental disapproval would strengthen or weaken. While initially, they found an increase in love among couples facing opposition, most follow-up studies have suggested the opposite. The long-term success of a romantic relationship is often influenced by the approval or disapproval of the couple's friends and family, referred to as the Social Network Effect.

This phenomenon doesn't mean that we value our existing relationships over potential ones, but it has more to do with the nature of disapproval. Friends and family often voice negative opinions or passively withhold support, rarely giving an ultimatum of "us or them." Moreover, people with good relationships with their parents feel they can ignore their advice without severe consequences.

So, while some may think that reactance theory could lead people to fight for the relationships they want, it's not that simple. Some individuals exhibit defiant reactance, impulsively doing the opposite of what they're told, while others demonstrate independent reactance, which reflects a deeper desire to make their own choices.

The balance between these tendencies varies among individuals and cultures, and social networks play a crucial role in our sense of identity and well-being. Support from close companions can help buffer against disapproval from others, and most relationships thrive when the individuals involved have supportive social networks. This may not sound as romantic as a forbidden love affair, but it's in line with the story of Romeo and Juliet, whose relationship couldn't endure extreme disapproval.