A Teenagers View

I am only 16 years old, yet I have questioned these exact things countless times. I have looked into the mirror, and not known who or what I really saw. You may be thinking ‘thats natural for a teenager, they are bound to question themselves because that is the process of finding yourself’ and maybe your right. Maybe this was me finding out what made me, me. Or maybe this was a young girl questioning every aspect of her human soul. Finding every flaw, every problem and destroying any hope she had or would ever have for humanity and for the world.

I would look in the mirror every day, and wonder what it felt like to breathe rather than gasp. To live rather than survive. And you know what? I still do. I wished that these options would be taken away, because I didn't want to know these choices anymore. What was the point? No matter how many times I would get back up, I would always be knocked down again. Whether that was by my own mind, or the world surrounding me.

The first time the world knocked me down, was when I lost my mother. The very human being that created me, gave me the opportunity to swim, to breathe, to see. It wasn’t fair, that she was taken from me, taken from this world. She was, like many other lost souls, purely and utterly beautiful. My mother never got to continue to see who I grew up to be, nor did she get to see what the would would become. Instead I found myself looking up at the brightest star, wishing that she was maybe resting there, watching me from above.

If I'm honest, part of me is glad, she did not get to see me become who I am, because I don't really like who I am very much.