We are too busy during the day, only at night can we hear the voice of our hearts

Every night, I always have a period of time when I can't calm down.

The lights are turned off, the phone is put down, and the room is so quiet that only the ticking of the clock remains. It is at this time that my mind begins to replay the whole day's scenes uncontrollably - wrong words, wrong decisions, unfinished plans, and some seemingly insignificant details, like a barb, the more I think about it, the more painful it becomes.

Do you feel the same way?

The deeper the night, the more regrets and dissatisfaction I feel with myself, thinking "Today is wasted again", "Did I mess up something", or "Did I not do something well enough".

During the day, we are always busy. Busy working, responding, and browsing social media to fill every second gap. We rarely give ourselves the opportunity to "listen to ourselves". But it is different at night, everything stops.

At this time, the emotions, anxiety, disappointment and self-blame that we temporarily suppressed during the day, like a tide, flood up bit by bit.

Self-blame is actually our self-judgment after our "expectations" are not met.

You are not not working hard, you just care too much;

You are not doing poorly, but you are too demanding of yourself.

You are not a "loser", you just haven't learned to forgive your imperfect self.

We always think that "reflection" is a sign of growth, but have you ever thought that some self-blame is not reasonable -

It's not that you did something wrong, but that you are too afraid of doing something wrong.

Once, I talked about this issue with a friend. She said: "I often suffer from insomnia at night, not because of stress, but because I feel that I am "not good enough."

I asked her: What do you mean by "good enough"? She thought for a long time and couldn't answer.

Later she smiled and said: "Maybe I just haven't learned to let myself go."

I think this may be a microcosm of many people.

We always want to be a better person, but often ignore that we are already working hard at the moment.

We long to be recognized, but dare not give ourselves a recognition first.

Self-blame in the middle of the night should not be a reason for you to belittle yourself, but a reminder for you to take care of yourself who works hard but dare not complain about being tired.

Try a different way of talking:

Don’t ask “Why did I screw up again” anymore,

but ask: “Did I do well today?”

Try to write a “letter to yourself” late at night,

not to reflect, but to embrace.

You will find that you don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be understood.

🕯 I hope you can make peace with yourself at night, instead of pushing yourself into a corner again and again.

📌 If you are experiencing this “night dilemma”, please leave a message and talk to me, maybe we are not so lonely.