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Review: Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail: The 6 Enduring Principles of High Achievement by Rom Brafman

“Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail: The 6 Enduring Principles of High Achievement” by Rom Brafman is a compelling exploration into the lives and mindsets of people who have defied the odds and achieved extraordinary success despite facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.

By TAPHAPublished about a year ago 10 min read
Review: Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail: The 6 Enduring Principles of High Achievement by Rom Brafman
Photo by Francisco De Legarreta C. on Unsplash

Introduction: We shouldn’t think about success solely in terms of money, power, and fame anymore.

“Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail: Rom Brafman in “The 6 Enduring Principles of High Achievement” provides an interesting perspective on what it means to have achieved success in life with a focus on the lives of people who, against all odds, succeeded in life. Brafman, a psychologist and co-author of Sway: The title of his newest book, The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior will help to bring in even more of his theories on the area of behavioural psychology, focusing on what sets champions apart from quitters.

It is divided into different chapters of six main ideas that Brafman suggests as the core elements to succeed in unfavourable conditions. He goes deeper into the aspect of narration of individuals in business, sporting, educational and military domains in the implementation of these stances. Every chapter focuses on one of them and offers readers a mix of psychology concepts, case descriptions, and actionable tips on how to foster/pursue these characteristics in one’s own life.

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1. The Principle of Self-Efficacy: Having Faith in Oneself When the Whole World is Against You

The first organizational principle that Brafman examines is self-efficacy and this he describes as a certainty that one can arrive at a certain end result. Brafman in his definition shows that self-efficacy is not only the belief in ability but the complete assurance that one has what it takes to succeed come what may. Again he uses the work of the psychologist Albert Bandura who first developed this concept and also demonstrates how it plays a critical aspect in the dynamic of whether a person will continue to endure the hardships of life or quit.

To support this principle, Brafman uses the case of a high school dropout who rises to be an entrepreneur against all the odds. This person never listened to people who told him that he could never become someone important in life and he never lost faith in attaining success. Brafman goes further and writes that the belief did work in a positive and it made him look for chances, challenge himself and try his best even if the circumstances were not right.

More important, what distinguishes this section is Brafman’s more sophisticated appreciation of self-efficacy. This is not about ‘The Secret’ where you’re told that you’ll always succeed no matter the circumstance, but simply the belief that regardless of what life throws at you, you deal with it. He comes up with exercises that the reader has to go through to build self-efficacy which entails goal setting, mental imagery and social modelling where the reader has to approach other successful individuals for assistance.

2. The Principle of Relational Support: How Relationships Ring the Bell

Thus, people have to win with the help of others according to Brafman. This is the second of what he calls relational support, meaning that you have to be in a good position to get support and this support is the key to success in endeavors especially if the odds are stacked against the individual. He provides sources from social networks and works done on social networks such as, individuals with strong social relations tend to be more effective in attaining their plans and visions in life and their rate of depression and anxiety is low.

He shares the experience of a young lady who was raised in a neighbourhood full of criminal activities to become a lawyer and social activist. Although there were many challenges the woman attributes the success to her family, friends and teachers who gave her morale to try by supporting and encouraging her through her tough times.

In her book, Brafman postulates that relational support is different from having role models whose blessings you have around you, but rather having the people who know and care about your needs and accomplishments. He also gives suggestions on how to develop and sustain others within a network, including ways to locate and join others, how to show dependency and trust, and how to support other people.

3. The Principle of Taking Intelligent Risks: My next topic is Accepting the Unknown for Development.

The third principle of growth consciousness is therefore taking intelligent risks, which means risking in the sense of going out of one’s comfort zone if one has to, make progress. Brafman succeeds at providing evidence to prove that those who defy the odds are expected to be those who are willing to embrace certain level risks and failures.

Uses an illustration of a woman who decided to sink all her money into a business venture in a venture that is likely to fail most of the time. It was not naivety on her part that made her take risks but she would do research and make plans and at the same time, adjust where needed. According to Brafman risk-taking is the ability to evaluate the possibility of the negative consequence, determine the possible situations and act even if there is a possibility of failure.

To build a risk-taking mentality Brafman offers several strategies which include factors such as costs and benefits of risk-taking analysis, use of failure in the process of learning and lastly people who give the necessary encouragement. He also strongly notes that it is important that decision-makers assume risks while at the same time ensuring that they do so carefully to avoid the worst off. This section is especially useful to readers who are currently experiencing fear and hesitance and are in dire need of a concrete guide on getting out of a comfort zone.

4. The Principle of Active Resilience: Grasping at Straws

There are many references to the notions of fortitude or stress in encountering achievement paving the way for new considered thinking in Brafman’s idea of active resilience. Active resilience, in his terms, is the ability not only to recover but also to be able to become more resilient and determined in the aftermath of the disasters. Active resilience is beyond merely tolerating adversity, and still bouncing back, it is about leveraging on the adversity to do better than before.

Brafman uses an example of the soldier who was injured in the war and despite his disadvantage, he rises to become a popular public speaker who encourages the disabled soldiers. Instead of considering his injury as a loss, he decided to consider it as an obstacle that one could change his or her mission in life. Brafman notes that kind of active resilience is not about denial of pain or faking perfectly, but it is all about recognizing the pain, growing from it and becoming stronger.

The following exercises are among those Brafman suggests to readers to create active resilience: Count your blessings, change the story you tell yourself, and grow forward. He also pays a lot of attention to aspects such as the need to maintain good health and outlook regardless of the prevailing circumstances. The steps listed here in this section are tools that you use to prepare a strong mental base that is essential for long-term success.

5. The Principle of Personal Responsibility: Creating Themes: Taking Possession of Your Decisions and Behaviors

The fifth principle of persuasion that Brafman discusses is the idea of personal accountability that is associated with the process of personal choice-making. He makes his point that such people fail to shift the blame on circumstances and other people but take full responsibility for their actions and choices. This change of focus from the receiver to the controller of one’s circumstance is the best technique for overcoming all the odds and stepping towards success.

One of Brafman’s examples is a man who was a drug addict who one day looked at his reflection and decided he wanted to be a perfect example of what a human being should be. This single man understood the fact that it is impossible to arrange for certain things to happen or not to happen but he has powers as to how he could react to some incidents. According to Brafman, learning to take personal responsibility is not about self-berating in every failure in life but making individuals understand that there is power in choices that can be made for the betterment.

He offers useful tips on how one can foster personal accountability and this includes goal setting and, an action plan coupled with an effective evaluation of previous actions to correct vices. Other organisational factors highlighted by Brafman include accountability, or the lack of it, to oneself as well as others, and ways of creating the framework within which people can be held accountable.

6. The Principle of Integrity: If you want to know how to sustain yourself in the course of this unfolding reality, the answer is simple: to remain true to yourself.

The last of the said principles is integrity where it becomes very essential to uphold one’s principles regardless of the consequences associated with it. While conceptualizing integrity, Brafman insists that it serves as a moral issue that is at the same time a strategic business decision. He shares studies proving that individuals who are of what is considered to be good character have higher chances of being trusted, creating good relationships and having good returns in the long run.

Through the real-life account of an executive, Brafman shows how an individual decided that it was better to be ethical than economical, regardless of the pressure to perform the opposite. This was not only time-consuming and expensive to her, but it was beneficial in the long run because it won the hearts of the clients and employees and therefore created a long-lasting business. As I have mentioned earlier, in a world where trust is increasingly becoming scarce, Brafman says that integrity is the most effective distinguishing variable.

In his article, he shares advice on how to remain ethical at work and in your daily life, these include making time to think about the principles that you uphold, telling the truth and only taking actions that you believe are right. Brafman also notes that integrity is not titans, but the desire to act or do the right thing is often uncomfortable.

Click here to read Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail for free with a 30-day free trial

Strengths: A New Idea of What Success Means

1-Compelling Storytelling: This work has the fantastic advantage of basing each of the principles discussed on real-life stories. The accounting of the psychological concepts in Brafman’s book is perfect since it is easy to understand and apply in real life. Also based on the fact that the author used different people like entrepreneurs, soldiers, people and many more, the book will be easy to capture the attention of the people from all the different classes of society.

2-Actionable Advice: Not only does Brafman give the reader theoretical concepts, he also provides real-life exercises that the reader can do to integrate the six principles in his/her life. It is said that although this is a book about gender, it does not read like one – this is because the author focuses on providing practical applications, questions for readers to answer, and activities that help the readers analyze certain behaviours and practices they may or may not employ in their daily life.

3-Balanced Approach: In terms of writing style, even though the book is about psychology, Brafman’s approach is more or less equal, with he focuses on both psychological factors concerning the internal workings of the mind and other environmental factors. He agrees with the fact that basically, success lies in having the proper qualities and good support, taking focused risks, and making ethical decisions.

Weaknesses: Lacks Greater Preparation and Praxis

1-Lack of Depth in Some Areas: However, one can note that although the book briefly describes the principles of success, some of them might be explained in sufficient detail. For instance, in the chapters where relational support and integrity are discussed, one gets the impression that one or two more arguments are needed to illustrate the points the author is making or that more case examples are needed.

2-Repetitive Themes: That is, some of the principles reported in part of the book are similar, which may include self-efficacy and personal responsibility. On one hand, it’s good that they repeat the same ideas because they are important; on the other, it may give an impression that there is too much information in the book than needed.

3-Limited Research-Based Evidence: That is why some readers would like to get more detailed information about the given studies that Brafman uses as the basis for his conclusions. In contrast to other books, the book is not a systematic survey of the state of the art, but it is more application-oriented.

Conclusion: An inspiring guide on how to face and/or beat life’s challenges.

The book by Rom Brafman titled Succeeding When You’re Supposed to Fail is one of the most useful reads for everyone who is determined to achieve success despite an unfavourable setting. Through six fairly timeless ideas—self-efficacy, relational support, intelligent risk-taking, active resilience, personal responsibility, and integrity, Brafman gives readers a blueprint of the thought process and action patterns that lead to success.

While there are times when I think the author could have gotten deeper into an issue, the major positives of Writing Your Way to Sales Success include Good storytelling, practical tips, and a sound middle-of-the-road perspective on success. Firstly, it will be interesting and extremely helpful for those who seek a new approach to problem-solving and achieving important aims and objectives no matter what challenges they face.

Click here to read Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail for free with a 30-day free trial

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