Let Them

I love self-help books. I have quite a collection of them by now, between thrifting and my monthly Audible credit. I'm sure by know most of you have heard of the "Let Them" theory. This term was popularized by one Mel Robbins and when I say this book changed my life, it did.

Now that I have finished the book, I felt inspired to share with others how this theory has inspired me throughout my self-love journey.

This theory has changed my life. In so many ways.

I had noticed this Facebook post circulating around the web quite some time ago. Let Them is everywhere. My neighbour even has "Let Them" tattooed on her hand and it caught my attention. It inspired me and encouraged me to purchase her audiobook which to say the least did not disappoint.

Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory?

I’ll tell you the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships. Even family can mistreat and disrespect you.

This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn't want to lose people. I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being repeatedly disrespected.

Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you.

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be "right."

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them run your name in the ground.

Let them make you out to be the villain.

Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!

Kindly step aside and LET THEM.

The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. They just simply don't care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. They did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel.

The end.

Let them go.

There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they've done to you. Let them go.

The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure. Let them go.

Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.

You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.

You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go.

It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.

If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.

Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.

Don’t you dare let them steal your light.

Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.

You are in control of that.

Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.

Let them go.

Mel Robbins wrote about the concept of "letting them" within her self-help book titled "The Let Them Theory". She realized that micromanaging others and forcing them to match her expectations wastes time and energy. She advocates for letting people be themselves, letting people be human with thoughts and emotions without judgement, which creates more control and emotional peace. Let them.

The book was truly the best self-help book I have ever read- er well- listened to. I fell in love with every chapter of her novel and plan to purchase a shelf trophy so I can go back and annotate lines that were meaningful.

Mel Robbins saved my life, not to be a tinsey bit dramatic. I even sparked conversation with my children's daycare lady because she had a "Let Them" bumper sticker. I told her about the book and she told me, "I don't read, but if I did, this would be the book I would grab."

My version of Let Them?

If someone doesn't love you, value you, or choose to understand you, let them.

If someone chooses to let you go, when you know you are a badass human being. Let them.

Let them unfriend you.

Let them choose to gossip over you.

Let them go.

Let them be wrong about you.

Let them misunderstand you.

Let them judge you.

At the end of the day the only person you need to be right with, is yourself.

I firmly believe as long as you do right by others, karma will get you back tenfold on what you put out into the universe. If you treat people like shit, shit gets handed back to you.

I haven't always been the nice girl. I've been a bully. I've been hurtful. Am I always in the right? No. Am I a human being experiencing life for the first time? Yes. Do I owe toxic people an invitation back into my life when I am on a path to becoming my best self? No. Do other people have the right to feel that way about me? Yes.

I write a lot of motivational posts, but I am not always right. Growth is a dance, and sometimes you fall back and become the toxic person in someone else's life even though your intentions were pure. You don't have to be perfect, you're only human.

I could keep going but I am starting to ramble on a bit. All I am getting at is that you're human. You're allowed to have feelings. You're allowed to cut people who are not growing out of your life. You're allowed to forgive yourself for the past and move on to your future.

Let people go.

This book and theory truly changed my life.

If you have read it, what were your thoughts on it?

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

If you enjoyed this post, people check out my other post about "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz as I feel like this book compares with that one for how powerfully it impacted me.