Brave New World:

Ladies and gentlemen, if you think the future is all about AI running your life, brains hooked up to chips, arms with USB ports, you’re wrong.

Aldous Huxley already laid out the blueprint back in 1932: the future isn’t soaked in blood—it’s soaked insyrupy, manufactured joy.

Human evolution’s final form? Not Iron Man. Justa blissed-out dummy who pops pills, avoids thinking, and always has a buddy to bang.

This isn’t dystopia—it’s a startup pitch for a mega massage parlor for your soul.

Chapter 1: Welcome to Brave New World, Where Complex Emotions Are Illegal

Ever had a moment like this?

Monday, 8 a.m. You look in the mirror and want to quit your job but can’t afford to.

You post something on social media, and no one likes it. Existential crisis incoming.

You want love but fear heartbreak. You want to be alone but hate loneliness. So you just sip iced Americano and stare into the void.

Congrats. You’re too “human” for the Brave New World. You’re out.

How do they fix this?

One word: Drugs.

Two words: Soma pills.

Three lines of philosophy:

“Feeling sad? You forgot your pill.”

“Thinking leads to pain; soma leads to chill.”

“One soma a day keeps the angst away.”

You say it’s not freedom?

They don’twantfreedom.

Freedom is expensive. Soma is five cents a hit. Plus you get food, sex, a job, and a therapist who’s also your Tinder match.

What are you still doing in 996 hell?

Chapter 2: Class Inequality? No No—It’s Genetic Career Planning

This society is honest.

No "all men are created equal" BS. The moment you're born, the system knows who you are, what you’ll do, and who you'll be paired with for recreational… bonding.

Five castes, straight from the genetic vending machine:

Alpha: Black-shirted CEOs. Big brains, small emotions.

Beta: Team leads and product managers. Reliable. Boring.

Gamma: PowerPoint zombies. Punch cards, smile, swallow soma.

Delta: Blue-collar brigade. Think books are viruses.

Epsilon: Button pushers. The system literally limited their IQ.

Terrifying? Maybe. But they’re allhappy.

You think being a freelance creative is freedom? These guys don’t even need tochoosea job. Theyarethe job. Born with a barcode and a smile.

You call it brainwashing?

They don’t even encourage having a brain.

Because using your brain? That’s for people with anxiety disorders.

Chapter 3: Love? LOL. That’s a Bug in the System

In this world,loveis treated like a contagious disease. It distracts from productivity and encourages dangerous emotions like...attachment.

You thought romance is:

“I love you not for who you are, but for who I become when I’m with you.”

Here it’s:

“I love you today. Tomorrow, let’s rotate partners like buffet shrimp.”

Everyone’s a shared USB port. You plug, play, and move on. No one cries. No one stalks exes online.It’s all just a cardio activity with mutual satisfaction and scheduled breaks.

Emotions are noise. Romance is an outdated app that’s no longer supported.

You think this is sad?

Nope.Sadness has been patched out in the last update.

Chapter 4: No Daydreaming Allowed

The real enemy isn’t war or famine.

It’sboredom.

Why? Because boredom leads tothinking.

And thinking is a virus.

Everyone must be active.

Take your soma, attend your orgy, listen to synthetic jazz, and for heaven’s sake—don’t question anything.

You ever felt pressure to keep posting memes in your work group chat?

Or guilt-tripped into liking your coworker’s 87th beach photo?

That’s nothing compared to this place, where being silent for five minutes is a sign ofanti-social behavior.

Huxley hadn’t even seen TikTok.

But he predicted it better than your favorite futurist.

Chapter 5: Meet John the Savage — A Shakespeare Quoter in a Meme World

Enter the tragic hero:John, raised in the “uncivilized zone,” where people still read books, feel heartbreak, and have parents.

He walks into Brave New World like your grandpa walking into a nightclub.

He talks about “love” — people blink.

He mentions Shakespeare — people shrug.

He asks about family — people laugh.

He's like a literature professor trying to trend on YouTube Shorts.

Eventually, he’s so mentally fried he goes full emo:

Moves to the forest

Starts self-flagellating for “purity”

Dies like a misunderstood Tumblr poet

You call him brave?

He’s just abugin the system that got deleted.

Chapter 6: You’re Already Halfway There

Think this dystopia is far away?

Let’s be real:

You wake up and check TikTok? Welcome, Beta.

You binge 15 hours of drama on Netflix? Hello, Gamma.

You think love is “optional,” and vibes are everything? Welcome to the future.

The only difference?

You can’t afford soma.

Chapter 7: Huxley Wasn’t Pessimistic — He Was Early

People compare1984andBrave New World.

Orwell warned about oppression.

Huxley warned about distraction.

And guess who won?

You’re not being silenced.

You’re being entertained into obedience.

Not forced into silence.

Just never given a reason to speak.

You’re not scared of losing freedom.

You just forgot why you ever wanted it.

We’re not being ruled with iron fists.

We’re being cuddled with dopamine drip machines.

Five Absurd Life Lessons Brewed from Soma-Infused Chicken Soup

You’re not happy. You’re just too tired to realize you’re bored.

The scariest prison is one that feels like a five-star resort.

TikTok isn’t the problem. You just forgot how to read long-form content.

Soma isn’t a drug. It’s your YouTube autoplay, your shopping cart dopamine, your algorithmic babysitter.

Not every “Brave New World” is worth entering. Some are just dystopias with better UX design.

Final Words for Those Who Still Think

If you made it this far—congrats. You still have brain cells not sponsored by dopamine ads.

You still ask, “Am I really happy?”

You still think in paragraphs, not hashtags.

You still remember that love might be messy, but at least it’sreal.

So take this comment, like, and share as a rebel act.

We can’t fix the world. But we can laugh while watching it burn in 4K HDR.