A letter to my inner child

Rahanat,

I want you to know that I'm here with you, standing by your side through every step of your journey I may not feel like a true friend but I really do care about you. It takes immense courage to face and deal with the traumatic experiences that have shaped your past. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've endured, but please know that you don't have to carry it alone anymore.

You are incredibly strong for confronting the wounds from your childhood and for seeking healing despite the pain. I am in awe of your resilience and determination. Remember that healing is not a linear path; there will be days when the memories feel overwhelming and nights when the pain seems insurmountable. In those moments, please lean on the people who care about you, including me. You deserve all the love, support, and understanding that this world has to offer.

Trauma can cast a shadow over every aspect of our lives, but please remember that your experiences don't define you. You are so much more than what you've been through. As you navigate this journey of healing, be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve for the innocence that was stolen from you and to acknowledge the pain. And when you're ready, I hope you find solace in knowing that you're taking back control of your life.

While I can't take away your pain or rewrite your past, I promise to be here to listen without judgment, to offer a shoulder to lean on, and to remind you of your incredible strength. You are not alone in this, and you are loved beyond measure.

As you work through your trauma, know that it's okay to seek professional help if you feel the need. Therapy can provide you with tools to cope, heal, and reclaim your life. Please remember that healing is not a sign of weakness; it's a testament to your bravery and your commitment to breaking free from the chains of the past.

You know, sometimes I myself sit and ponder on which is better. Is it better to stay in one spot and avoid all that life has to throw at me ? Or is it to pick up all of my burdens like a primary school kid trying to make it early for class with his backpack filled with heavy textbooks?

There is a saying that “People reacts to pain differently”. For some it makes them weaker, more depressed and pushes them into the void of hopelessness. While for some it’s a motivating factor on which they build their strength on.

You are that person who takes on selflessly the pain of others, and also take into consideration their emotions, regardless of how close or intimate they may be to you. I’d say that you have a heart of gold but I’d only be undermining your abilities.

I’ve always heard that if life gives you lemons then you should make lemonade with them instead, but no one said anything about “what if life gives you a hand grenade instead”, do you then blow up everything and everyone around you into unrecognizable pieces? Or do you hold it close to yourself and recollect slowly those pieces of you that is broken while still smiling and hoping for a brighter day.

I used to search, pray and hope for a brighter day, future or anything to give me a glimpse of hope when it seems like the world has gone dark and I’m all alone in my thoughts, screaming so loud my voice ran out but still no one heard me. Until I realized that my head was held up high, so high that I couldn’t see that right here, right where my eyes could see and my hands could touch is “Today”. Another day filled with hope, a brand new day untouched and so alive.

Life isn’t a fairy tale said by one who let others write their stories. You’ve stood by me even when I thought you wouldn’t. Even when I pushed back your love and made you feel the pain that you weren’t responsible for, even when I thought “at last I’ve been left alone in my loneliness.

You are deserving of peace, happiness, and a future that is filled with hope. I believe in you, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.