Clapbacks And Tattoos

I’ve always wanted to have tattoos; I’ve always looked at people with tattoos and thought the idea of having your body covered in art was so cool. But part of me has always felt like I shouldn’t get them because of my career as a classical singer. It’s like being involved in classical music has taught me, in a way, to be afraid to get them.

I love the classical music world. It’s an honor and a privilege to be able to help preserve such a beautiful, ancient art form. But the industry is a completely different story.

The classical music world is a lot like the corporate world: they’re both insanely out of touch with the real world. So much resistance to change, lack of acceptance, refusal to adapt, and so many outdated and rigid views on lots of different things, one of them being the negative stigma around tattoos.

It’s not that you’re not allowed to have them; they can’t really stop you from getting them. But they’re considered to be “unprofessional” (aka trashy). So the general rule is that if you have any tattoos, they can’t be visible when you’re on stage performing.

Honestly, it pisses me off so much. It shouldn’t be so terrible for a singer to have tattoos and have them be visible while they’re on stage singing. It shouldn’t be a bad thing for anyone to express themselves freely.

But I refuse to let other people’s expectations or opinions hold me back from living my life how I want to.

Yes I’m a bit of a diva, but I see that Soprano diva-ness as an advantage. I don’t let anyone tell me how to be, or let other people’s opinions of me stop me from being myself. And I try to always be an example to others to do the same.

It’s a waste of energy to stress about what other people think of you. You’re always better off doing whatever makes you happy, instead of always trying to live how everyone else wants you to, because living to please others will only make you miserable (and it'll never be good enough for them anyway).

And there is plenty I can do as far as ink that both makes me happy and technically follows the rules while still clapping back at anyone who has a problem with it.

I have a bunch of ideas for tattoos that I want. Some fun, some serious, but all with some important meaning.

Part of me wants something involving flowers, particularly roses, since they’re my favorite flower.

Part of me wants something to do with space, stars, or something astrological.

And part of me also wants something involving ocean/aquatic life.

And one idea I’ve seen floating (lol) around a lot is a jellyfish, like the one on the cover of Erra’s album, Drift.

It’s super colorful and whimsical, and it coincides with the line from the title track:

“Let your mind drift.”

It’d be so dope to have a piece of one of my favorite bands on my skin.

On a more serious note, I’d love to get a tattoo of a semicolon.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the meaning, it’s a symbol for suicide awareness and prevention. As in grammar, where it’s used to continue a sentence rather than use a period to end it, a semicolon symbolizes one’s decision to continue their life rather than end it.

For those with a history of mental illness, like myself, it serves as an important reminder to keep going.

I have a few phrases that are like little positive reminders to myself, like “Fortune favors the bold”, and “This too shall pass”. But my main life motto is a line from one of my favorite songs, Technicolor, by Ghost Atlas:

"When we are shaped by the sounds and shades of truth, the colors never fade."

It’s my personal mantra; it reminds me to always live honestly and genuinely, and to always bare my true colors.

I want this phrase on my side, surrounded by some colorful paint splatter.

But the tattoo I want the most is one that I’ve been planning out in my head since I was 16: a Celtic cross surrounded by cherry blossoms on my upper center back.

This is the most significant one for me. It’s to honor my brother, James, who passed away in 2001.

The cherry blossoms represent him, and the cherry blossom tree my family planted for him in our yard. Because of that tree, I’ve always associated cherry blossoms with him.

His tree has persevered and prospered through so much. There were some points where we thought it might not make it. But now, over 20 years later, it’s not only still standing, it’s grown bigger than any of us expected.

Most people want to be able to carry their loved ones with them, to remember them and keep their memory alive. But for me, it would mean a lot to be able to carry James with me. Because he was stillborn, he never got to physically be part of my life; I never got to know him or make any memories with him. So having a physical reminder of him would mean the world to me.

These are all words and symbols that I want on my body, not only as a way to express myself, but to serve as reminders to myself and as examples to others of both creativity and wisdom.

I’m still nervous to actually go through with getting tattoos; some of those feelings of judgment from the classical music world still hang over my head. But I won’t let that stop me from living my life in full color (in all ways, not just physically).

I can’t wait to clap back at all those rigid norms with some gorgeous ink. It’ll all be so worth it.

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