Zig Zag #5

Whoa. I’m still fanning myself off from last week’s Zig Zag story. What a ride that was. Literally.

Maybe not a 9-month relationship, but I do think many of us have had run-ins with rockstars and celebrities at some point.

A lot of times, these encounters end in utter humiliation and embarrassment. It’s usually NOT the rockstar or celebrity that gets embarrassed. It’s almost always the layperson involved.

I speak from experience.

Picture it! Sicily. 1951. Okay, so I’m not Sophia from The Golden Girls, but this personal rockstar story feels like a sordid tale she’d spin up.

Now for real…

Picture it! Austin. A quintessential dive bar. Complete with walls plastered with every kind of ephemera you can imagine. Mostly beer and music themed. Funky murals. Vintage arcade games. A cockroach that took up residence in the ladies bathroom. You know what they say: Everything’s bigger in Texas. Wowza. I’d never seen a cockroach that size before. But seriously, shhh. I'll never tell the health inspector. I chalked the cockroach sighting up to giving the bar character and flare. This was the real dive bar experience!

I was there one night with my roommates. It was the end of our first semester in grad school for all of us, and we were at this dive bar to blow off some much collected steam. Grad school is crazy stressful. We more than earned a few libations to go with some food truck eats we gathered out back. (Far away from the cockroach).

I’ve never been a beer drinker and this was clearly not a place you ordered wine to sip. So I went with my go-to favorite liquor: Bourbon. I was already three deep when one of the roomies decided it would be a good idea to do a round of tequila shots. Sure. Why not?!? It had been a semester.

She brought them back to our picnic table outside. We had already been there for a few hours, and from the looks of it, we planned to close the place down. I was definitely not in any shape to really pay attention to who was around us. There were a few patrons within spitting distance of our own picnic table. But I paid no attention. I was having a good time. So were my lips. Apparently, I was talking about some interesting stuff as we all do when we get a little wasted. I don’t recall what I said that night, but it made an impression on the hot semi-famous rockstar that was sitting at the table next to ours.

At the time, I didn’t know who he was. I had never heard of him. But he was Austin famous, which I later found out. And no, just like my Lyft friend Carmella from last week, I will not tell you who he is.

With my one roommate already being a fangirl of this rockstar, we went to a few concerts over the course of the next few weeks. This rockstar is very talented.

Prior to one show, he recognized me. I assume the recognition came from that one drunken night at the dive bar. As he approached, I started to freak out. Well, because I’m me and he’s him. He stood there awkwardly, and I stood there awkwardly. I couldn’t even make eye contact with the dude. Smooth, Kathleen. Smooth. He walked away, and people around me were staring at me like, “Girl, do you realize that one of the hottest rockstars around just tried to talk to you and you couldn’t even look at him.” Actually, a lady behind me did say this out loud to me.

Yup, I have a special brand of social awkwardness. Right then and there, I wanted to dissolve into a puddle. I wanted to rewind and reach out, make eye contact and open my mouth!

So what did I do? How did I try to salvage this? Through writing, of course. Have you ever checked out the Missed Connections section on Craigslist?

Yup, that’s what I did. I sent a Missed Connection. I thought this was a super good idea. I wrote this long note of explanation hoping this rockstar would see it.

Oh, poor, awkward, cringe-worthy Kathleen.

Long story short, nothing ever happened. Now he's even more than Austin famous, and I missed my shot because I was too much of an awkward chicken. Blurgh.

Well, hey, at least I got a good Zig Zag story out of it. I would love to hear about your awkward celebrity or rockstar encounters. At the very least so we can commiserate in our awkwardness.

I wish you a zig zag kind of a week. Until we meet again. Rock on ;)