You’re So Vain: Yeah, It Is About Him

Look, you can’t write a song about someone and then claim he is vain because he realizes the song is about him. That’s not vanity. That’s being aware. You drop a three-minute lyrical hit job with enough personal details that a first-year detective could figure out. Then you get mad when he connects the dots? Please. What is he supposed to think?

I get it. We all get it. The breakup was messy. They always are. And when you’re one of America’s most beloved singer-songwriters, turning heartbreak into art is basically a public service. You’re not just allowed to write breakup songs; you’re expected to. You can’t walk away from a relationship like that without at least a platinum single to show for it.

But why not call him vain and leave it at that? And what is with the passive-aggressive line, “I bet you think this song is about you?” What else is he going to think? That it’s about the guy who walks your dogs, maybe your pool guy?

Private jets? Yachts? Racehorses? Someone you used to date. Yeah, he knows who the song is about.

I’m not saying you don’t make a good case. I mean, he wears an apricot scarf. Apricot. Where do you even buy one? A boutique where everyone sips imported tea and nothing has a price tag. That scarf doesn’t say “I’m cold”; it says, “I moisturize.”

So yes, this man is clearly vain. He’s the human embodiment of a slow-motion hair flip. But if we’re being honest, you don’t write this kind of song about someone you’re completely over. I can feel your hurt. There are clouds in your coffee, whatever that means. I guess you take cream. Whatever, it’s a good line.

The point is, you are young and attractive. Move on; there are plenty of men who would die to date you. There’s this other singer-songwriter, James. He’s a little younger than you, but not by much. I think the two of you have a lot in common.

I do have to call you out on that bit about “the wife of a close friend”? Ouch. You didn’t just drop gossip; you threw a grenade into someone’s marriage. I’m guessing a few people stopped taking your calls after that one.

But let’s be real. Breakup songs aren’t about fairness; they’re about survival. You needed to say something, and he needed to hear it. There’s bound to be a little collateral damage.

But honestly, I think he came out all right. After all, he gets to live forever as the guy who looked so good walking into a party that you had to write a song about it. Every time that song comes on, he gets to think, “Yeah, that’s me.” And he’s not wrong. It is about him.

So yes, he thinks the song is about him. Because it is. And in the end, that’s not vanity. That’s just the truth. But the most important thing is, it’s one great song. Fifty years later, people still listen to it.

************************************

Carly Simon wrote and sang the song “You’re So Vain.” It was released as a single on November 8, 1972. The B-side was “His Friends Are More Than Fond of Robin.”

Carly Simon, claims the song is about a combination of three men, one of whom was actor Warren Beatty. Many people cite Mick Jagger as the subject of the song. Simon, has stated that is incorrect.

In the 1974 Grammy Awards, it was nominated for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Pop Vocal Performance by a female. It did not win.

It reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.