Worse than the Wooden Spoon: Reviewing all the ‘Nul Point’ entries at Eurovision

Eurovision can be a cruel old show at times. Each year, hopefuls from countries across Europe, and even Oceania, take part all bidding for Eurovision glory. But what happens if these countries don’t want to even give them a slither of glory, a measly point for their troubles?

Nul points is a rare title, which very few entries hold. Especially in modern contest, scoring absolutely nothing during the voting is very hard to come by, but not impossible.

In this article I’ll be reviewing every nul point entry from 1975 (the introduction of the modern voting system) to now, and will also include semi-final entries that scored zero.

Countries that scored zero on one side of the voting through televote or jury vote but not zero overall will not be included, such as Germany in 2019 who created a now infamous Eurovision meme. Germany, I’m sorry.

SPOILER: a lot of Norwegian and Finnish entries on this list.

Norway 1978, Jahn Teigen: Mil Et Er Mil

The granddaddy of nul point entries, and to my knowledge the only time I've seen a scissor kick at Eurovision. This song was huge in Norway apparently, and in all honesty I do like the ridiculous charm of the song. It didn’t; deserve nul points in my eyes, but if it didn’t receive zero, we wouldn’t be talking about it now.

The lack of points didn’t deter his efforts however. In total he tried to represent Norway fourteen times, going onto represent Norway again in 1982 and 1983, finishing 12th and 9th respectably.

Norway 1981, Finn Kalvik: Aldri I livet

Not much to say on this one. A motionless, dour song that is uninspiring, and understably didn’t wet any appetites of the juries at the 1981 contest.

Finland 1982, Kojo: "Nuku pommiin"

Crazy and very punk, for Eurovision anyway. Kojo confused juries at the 1982 contest. Personally I think the delivery is awful, but there is clearly a message within the song that you don’t need to translate.

Spain 1983, Remedios Amaya: "¿Quién maneja mi barca?"

This song I feel is very misunderstood. The juries saw it as a mess vocally and in the overall presentation, but its noted as a cultural piece when it comes to music. But entries such as this can go one of two ways, and this made its way to the bottom. I also wouldn’t give it a point

Turkey 1983, Çetin Alp and The Short Waves: "Opera"

This is the equivalent of your local am-dram group having a go and hoping for a point or two. I love how crazy it is, but can absolutely see why it alienated juries.

Turkey 1987, Seyyal Taner and Grup Locomotif: "Şarkım Sevgi Üstüne"

They definitely had one too many espressos before this performance. The song itself is not bad at all, but the delivery is way too intense. Love the costumes however.

Austria 1988, Wilfried "Lisa Mona Lisa"

Boring song, bad backing singer (yes just the one), 1988 had some bad entires but this was just dull. Next.

Iceland 1989, Daníel Ágúst "Það sem enginn sér"

Just three years after their debut they experienced the nul points curse. In all honesty even in the short recap video I forget the song, but I did remember his painful high notes.

Austria 1991, Thomas Forstner "Venedig im Regen"

A real fall from grace for Thomas. After getting fifth place for Austria in 1989. He looked pretty fit in all honesty, even in the 80’s get up. Wheras in this, the mullet, the baby grow, the song…no maam.

Lithuania 1994, Ovidijus Vyšniauskas: "Lopšinė mylimai"

A very fateful debut indeed for Lithuania. I wouldn’t vote for this song, and their record even to this day is overall pretty poor.

Norway 1997, Tor Endresen: "San Francisco"

Guess who’s back, back again, Norways back! The song is just meh in all honesty, and an unsurprising nul point entry.

Portugal 1997, Célia Lawson: "Antes do adeus"

Genuinely don’t understand how this song didn’t score any points. Not a winner by definitely not a nul pointer, her delivery and the song itself deserved a least a few marks!

Switzerland 1998, Gunvor: "Lass ihn"

This song was actually a favourite before the contest, but Gunvor embroiled herself in various controversies before the contest, and was left by the kerb come the final in Birmingham. I don’t think the song vouched zero points compared to the field in 1998.

United Kingdom 2003, Jemini: "Cry Baby”

Whenever I talk about the UK at Eurovision, I always mark this as a turning point, and why we started to not care about the contest. Jemma, one part of the group claimed that she couldn’t hear her track hence her vocals.

Many blamed (and still blame) our involvement in the Iraq War in 2003 as a reason for this score. I personally don’t. The performance sealed the deal for this song, but even if they were pitch perfect, it would have been a low scorer.

Switzerland 2004, Piero Esteriore & The MusicStars "Celebrate"

This song is something you’d get the entertainers on a cruise ship to sing at the kids club, its horrendous and juvenile.

Czech Republic 2009, Gypsy.cz “Aven Romale”

No.

Austria 2015, The Makemakes: "I Am Yours"

The first host country in modern Eurovision history to receive no points, this song was the result of the combined points calculator at that time. At this time, they combined the jury and televote to calculate average totals, which gave some interesting and unfair results (Austria actually scored 40 points from the juries.). In 2016 this way of calculation was abolished, and this song should have never scored zero. The burning piano was enough to get a few points at least!

Germany 2015, Ann Sophie: "Black Smoke"

Germany also suffered from the ridiculous calculation system pre 2016. Germany had originally planned for Andreas Kümmert to be their entry before he declined the offer, at their national final when he was just announced as the winner. Poor Ann Sophie, it just wasn’t her year and again, should’ve scored something. If anything, the UK deserved the nul points that year.

With the new system we are unlikely to see another nul points again, but maybe I shouldn’t speak too soon…