We Asked Mormons What They Really Think About The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

When The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives premiered, it didn’t take long for the show to explode across social media. Clips circulated rapidly, comment sections filled with heated debates, and headlines framed the series as a shocking peek behind the curtain of Mormon life.

But one group’s voices were often drowned out in the noise: actual Mormons.

So we asked them directly—active members, former members, and culturally Mormon individuals—what they really think about the show. Their answers were far more nuanced than the viral outrage suggested.



“This Isn’t Mormon Life—It’s Influencer Life”

One of the most common responses we heard was frustration with misrepresentation.

Many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) said the show doesn’t reflect everyday Mormon families, beliefs, or values. Instead, they described it as focusing on a very specific group: affluent, social-media-savvy women whose lifestyles already fall outside the norm.

> “These women aren’t representative of most Mormon wives I know,” said Rachel, a lifelong LDS member from Utah. “They’re influencers first. Mormon second.”



Several viewers pointed out that behaviors highlighted in the show—drinking alcohol, provocative clothing, open discussions about extramarital relationships—are explicitly discouraged by church teachings. To them, the series feels less like a documentary and more like selective storytelling designed for shock value.



Why Some Mormons Still Watch

Despite the criticism, many admitted they still tuned in.

Some described watching the show as a mix of curiosity and disbelief—similar to how people watch reality TV about professions or cultures they belong to but don’t recognize on screen.

> “I hate that it misrepresents us,” said Michael, a returned missionary. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t watch just to see what they’d exaggerate next.”



Others said the show unintentionally sparks conversations about cultural versus religious identity, especially among younger members who feel caught between faith traditions and modern social expectations.

For ex-Mormons or those who’ve distanced themselves from the church, the show can feel validating.

> “It reflects the pressure Mormon women face to be perfect,” said one former member. “Even if it’s exaggerated, that pressure is real.”

The Harmful Side of Reality TV

Still, many expressed concern about the broader impact of the series.

LDS parents worried that the show reinforces harmful stereotypes—painting Mormon women as repressed, deceptive, or secretly rebellious. Others feared it would fuel mockery or misunderstanding from non-Mormons unfamiliar with the faith.

> “I’ve already had coworkers ask me if this is what my marriage is like,” one woman shared. “It’s exhausting.”



Religious scholars and culturally aware viewers noted that reality TV often thrives on extremes, not accuracy. When the subject is a minority religious group, those distortions can linger long after the show ends.

Gender, Judgment, and Double Standards

Another recurring theme was how the show frames women.

Some Mormon viewers felt the series unfairly scrutinizes female behavior while ignoring broader social dynamics. Others appreciated that it highlights issues like marital dissatisfaction, emotional labor, and lack of autonomy—topics rarely discussed openly within conservative religious spaces.

> “It’s uncomfortable, but maybe it’s supposed to be,” said one young LDS woman. “The church doesn’t always give women space to talk about dissatisfaction.”



However, even those who welcomed the conversations wished they were handled with more care and context, rather than through sensational editing.

Not All Mormon Reactions Are the Same

One thing became very clear: there is no single Mormon opinion.

Older members tended to reject the show outright

Younger members were more divided

Former members were often the most receptive

Converts had mixed reactions based on their experiences



This diversity of opinion challenges the very stereotype the show reinforces—that Mormon life is uniform, controlled, and monolithic.



So, Is the Show “Good” or “Bad”?

That depends on who you ask.

For some, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is exploitative entertainment that trades accuracy for clicks.

For others, it’s a flawed but revealing mirror—showing tensions between tradition and modern identity.

Most Mormons we spoke to agreed on one thing:

The show says more about reality television than it does about Mormonism.

Final Thoughts

Reality TV thrives on conflict, secrecy, and drama. Mormon life—like any lived faith—is far more ordinary, complex, and human than a streaming series can capture.

If The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives encourages viewers to learn more about LDS culture beyond viral clips, some see that as a small win. But many hope future portrayals will balance intrigue with respect.