We are 40 (use collagen)

When I graduated high school in 1999, there was this one, odd song that I loved. Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen)

Now those of us who listened to that while we were carefree and young, are now turning forty.

One night I couldn't sleep, thinking about how funny an updated version would be to have for us today.

I hope it brings you joy.

Here is a link to the orginal, so you can remember how it goes, or discover its awesomeness for the first time.

We are 40 (use collagen)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 1999, use collagen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the right now, this minute,

collagen would be it.

Long-term benefits of collagen have been proved by scientists.

Whereas the rest of my advice you will most likely ignore.

Still just in case someone out there is listening,

Here are some insights that I have learned.

I will dispense this advice now.

We now understand that we spent way to much time concerned people thinking about us when we were young.

Now we realize, they weren’t thinking about us at all.

We are now 20 years older.

You are looking back at those photos of your youth and realize,

Wow, you did look good.

You might be fatter now than you expected.

You might be the fittest you’ve ever been.

But please do not berate your friends into buying your protein powders,

They are not as important to everyone, as you imagine.

It’s time to start worrying about the future.

Not the sort of worry that keeps you up at night,

but it is time to get that retirement plan going.

It is time to get that life insurance if you haven’t already done so.

The real troubles in your life might be behind you,

but more than likely they are still lurking ahead.

There will be a text in the middle of the night, that changes your life.

Do one thing every day that soothes you

Karaoke

By now I hope you have learned to not let others continue breaking your heart.

Even more I hope you have learned to

stop breaking others.

You are too old for braces

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead, but usually you are behind.

In the end the people who care about you,

will love you wherever you are,

and the direction you are currently going.

Compliment others, save the insults.

Do not argue with people on social media.

It is now time to toss the old love letters;

your kids do not want to go through your hoard one day.

Breath

Don't feel guilty if you aren’t where you hoped you would be by now.

The most interesting people I know are still going to school, starting new careers, and constantly evolving.

Drink lots of water

Get the LASIK surgery.

You might no longer be a candidate soon.

Maybe you got married, maybe you didn’t

Maybe you had children, maybe you didn’t

Maybe you’ve been divorced four times,

maybe you have been married for over twenty years.

Whatever you do, don’t post about every little thing on Facebook.

Set limits on your screen time.

Take a vacation day from work, to binge watch Netflix.

Enjoy your body, you do still look good.

Wear the bathing suit.

Stop using the filter on your photos.

Take real photos, not just selfies.

Dance,

but when you do,

make sure you are wearing your fitness tracker.

You will be mad to miss those exercise points.

Stop following beauty influencers,

they will only make you feel ugly

Your parents might be gone,

Now its your time to be a good parent,

or influence on someone else.

It’s our only hope to change the future.

Understand that not everyone is your friend.

Some are just a co worker,

some are a neighbor.

Cherish the ones that truly have your back.

Work hard to make the world a better place.

Realize you will not be the leader for world change,

But do not be the poster child for everything that is currently wrong.

Engage on social media.

It's the only way you will see photos of your neices and nephews.

But snooze the people that drive you nuts, before you loose your mind.

Leave comments for friends, to help them not loose theirs.

Travel

Media has made it so it is now hard to see truth.

But we can still see that prices did rise,

politicians are worse now than we ever imagined.

There is no way we will ever romantize that they were noble,

when we are old.

It is ok to rent

Owning a house isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

Be kind to strangers.

Tip your servers, well.

Do not raise your children to need your support forever.

No one did that for you, and it made you who you are today.

You never know if you will be there for them when they are older.

Help them succeed.

Don't mess too much with your face.

Botox and fillers can start to make you look 65 now that you are 40.

Hopefully you did wear the suncreen, but if not,

it's not to late to start now.

Stop asking your friends constantly for advice,

it’s time to pay counseling.

There is even an app for that.

Everyone has work to be done, and dinner to get on the table.

Be respectful of their time.

Upcyling is popular and good for the environment.

Go to the thrift store, buy furniture,

Sand it, paint it, sell it online.

I hope you make more money, than it’s really worth.

But trust me, on the collagen.