THE SOUND TRACK OF MY YEAR

This past year I dived into being taught that true transformation begins with patience resilience and courage to take one small step forward, even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

My past year began with a whispering voice at a high pitch, it wasn’t certain but it was bearing great potential that reflected stirrings of transformation within me. I call it my inner resilient consciousness.

What do we know about our inner consciousness, how do we teach it to know more, we train it by paying attention to what comes in to our minds or our sense of reasoning and goes out of our mouth, and being able to filter informations that we hear, because not all informations are meant to be absorbed, consumed or pages attention to. For me a heavenly music refines and rebuild, and sustains my inner consciousness

I was transferred into a new university to continue my studies, that required me traveling a distance of eleven to twelve hours journey and still continue the following day to school. I love the course am studying, I love to be called a biomedical engineer, I love to swim into the imagination of being able to fix any medical machine I come across. Create and design my own machine and embrace the world of engineering and medicine.

I got to this school with the intention of being the best I can be and graduate with an outstanding result, then it became uncertain since I lost my spirit filled energy and motivational moves to get me going. I had to face an entirely different environment where everyone worked or acted too serious and the atmosphere . I lost friendship building energy which kept me sticking to myself and self alone. I spoke and reacted lesser than usual and My emotions were low.

Coming to my academics, I had to battle with my mind on how to get myself going. I could barely stay to the end of any lecture, took permissions severally to go outside breathe in and out heavily and take little stroll at the corridors of the school block and even eat too much to get myself out of boredom. I found it difficult to get my mind concentrated on what am doing without running wild through random things.

What I always believed till now about myself is that I can be anything I want to become, I can archive them, I have a purpose bearing meaning, I know I can handle uncertainty cause I have my resilient conscious to navigate through it and find its way, I embrace who I am and what I will become, I am resilient because I will still emerge stronger. You know that believing in yourself is the basis of having a resilient spirit that empower a personal growth within you. This is what the voice says that played as music continuously inside of me.

For as long as this the battle in my mind continued it was difficult to find myself knowing fully well of what I want. And struggling to do what am suppose to do that I usually do made me frequently tearful. Lets say I couldn't help myself cause I dealt with several bad scores during test and exams.

This took two semesters of my life but one place I find comfort was the church where I hear the songs of heaven pierce right through my bones, this taught my resilient consciousness to growth and right there my resilient consciousness wears strength and so much energy. To break through this struggle I had to love myself even better and walk through the process of healing with a step of faith. I wrote down what I want, who I want to become, what I want to be seen as and everyday I look at it and remind myself and shape how my day will go.

This is the dialog of I and my inner conciousness accompanied with a heavenly music

Me: am not so good

Rc : who said you are not good

Me: am so scared to try

Rc: how about I tell what the scripture says

Me: what did it say

Rc 1st Timothy 1:7

Me: wow

Rc: mm..

Me: but

Rc: do you not remembber when you used to be focus and always praye

Me: I do remember and I want to be in that state again

Rc: always don’t forget “do not doubt” but believe you can and you will

Me: how about the fear of failing

Rc; the sky is not and will never be your limit, we may fall, but we will not stay there, we will rise again, and even when we fail, we do not quite we keep going

Me: but I hear two voices inside my head

Rc: listen to the positive one because you are more than a conqueror

At this point while the heavenly music (titled: I am who you say I am) plays at the background it propels me into joy that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, now that is is music.

This transformation did not take a moment or a day it took days of pressing determination, it took resilience, it took patience, it took one small step forward, days of faith even when the path ahead seemed uncertain but then again I needed to be transformed.

I really don't ponder much on what other challenges I could face later in future concerning being able to adapt to any environment I find myself though may respond to this environment for sure but being able to find your focus I think is the main achievement of this challenge.

I think i am better now and i'm stronger, I think I emerged stronger from the uncertainty of things and i have learnt from this situation and I believe is one of the most defining moment of my life this past year. And the world will be a better place as we recognise how better will live our lives when the music of inner consciousness plays out.