Reviewing Ruby Turner's "Stay with me baby"

Seeing as this is my first ‘review’ of a song, I feel it necessary to explain a few things. I am not an academic in the complexities of vocals and meanings in songs. This is entirely my thoughts, feelings and interpretations. Like many, music has played a pivotal role in my life from a baby to the very day I write this article. I find almost all types of music fascinating by the way they can form stories in our minds and release emotions pent up in our hearts. When I was young, I remember why mother being concerned about me because all the music I listened to. She interpreted as sad but I always found different meanings which were always more complex than a single adjective. I’m not saying I found all sad songs happy, but often they felt like they had many more layers to them. Layers of happiness, sadness, grief, etc. The following review is of a song most would interpret as sad for a very obvious reason, but when I first heard this song a very different meaning came across.

The song in question is Ruby Turner’s rendition of Stay With Me Baby. A song co-written by Jerry Ragovoy and George David Weiss and originally sung by Lorraine Ellison. Stay With Me Baby proved to be an extremely popular song, having been recreated by various artists in their own styles. From Bette Midler to Janis Joplin this song has touched nearly every decade and genre of music. Those of you reading this whom know Ruby’s version and the original by Lorraine might wonder why I am not just reviewing the original. The two songs are very similar, but Ruby’s version was the first one that made me see this song in a new light. All the emotions the song brought out first happened with Ruby’s version, and I hope to write those interpretations and emotions in their pure form as I experienced. Instead of forcing my original emotions to fit over Lorraine’s original version.

Quick note, I want to point out Lorraine’s version is beautiful and I cannot and refuse to pick which one is best. This link is to the very video I watched all those years ago when I first experienced this song in a new light. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6SWgAIbAag

When you listen to this song, you may interpret it as a woman going through a breakup and her heartache, but to me it’s very different. I witness the heartache of a woman losing her partner not to break up but to Alzheimers. Her partner by this point is in late stages of Alzheimers and unlikely to recognise her face anymore. She sings her sorrows; she doubts whether she did enough; she wants more time with her partner, and finally she literally begs them to remember just one last time. I would recommend at this point you watch the video first. It will be curious to see if you make the connections in the lyrics as I do and see if my review reveals interesting details to you. Just to make it easier, I am going to assume the partner is a man so I will refer to them as he/him.

The video begins with moving shots of a microphone, piano, bass guitar, saxophone and violin (I am not well educated with instruments so I apologise if I have any of them wrong). Instruments are the tools of music and love a very obvious part of this song. Next we see Ruby dressed in red. The entire scene, bar her coat and lipstick, is nearly black and white. The only thing present here is Ruby and her love. Love that stands out so vibrantly against the world around her.

“Where did you go when things went wrong, baby, Who did you run to, to find a shoulder to lay your head upon?”

When someone with alzheimers is having a bad day, their relatives often describe them as going somewhere else. Their bodies are present, but there minds are not. So, Ruby is asking her lover where he is. His body is there with her, lying so frail on the bed, but his personality is gone. When his mind’s gone and he sees faces, who does he see? Who does he confide in when he doesn’t recognise Rose?

“Baby, wasn’t I there, didn’t I take good care of you,”

Rose is doubting how well she cared for her love. Often with grief we blame ourselves for not having done enough. We think “maybe if I had done this they would be here longer”. Ruby is going through this stage of grief.

“No, no, I can’t believe your leaving me... Stay with me baby (baby please stay) I can’t go on,”

As you may have guessed, this part is also her grief. Disbelief over losing her lover and begging them to stay longer, almost like the stage of grief known as bargaining.

“Who did you touch when you needed tenderness (tenderness)?”

Again, this is her asking her partner who he saw when she gave him tenderness. The next part is not actually in the official lyrics but in the video she says “Said” at the beginning of the following lyrics. Also, the ‘and’ is absent in the video.

“Said I gave you so much and in return I found happiness,”

I believe the first part is her partner saying she gave him so much to which Ruby replies, “In return I found happiness”

The official lyrics now state she says “Baby, what did I do?” but in this version she clearly says “Oh lord, what I do”.

She has now turned to her faith and asked god what she has done. She blames herself which again is a part of grief but this time she seeks answers from something else because she has none and she cannot simply accept the truth that lays in front of her. Perhaps the next lyric is slightly less likely, but it does not interrupt the picture that has formed in my head.

“Maybe I was too good, too good to you, No, no, I can’t believe your leaving me...”

Irrationality is common during grief. Human minds struggle to accept that someone is dying, and that’s all there is to it. We search desperately for some kind of answer to the questions in our head and thus in her state of irrationality, Ruby wonders if she did too much. Maybe her actions worsened his condition. She quickly snaps out of this mindset when she says “No, No” and continues to show how she struggles with her partner’s condition and the idea that death is so close.

After this we get the chorus which is Ruby begging her partner to remain with her for as long as he can. Then Ruby begs her partner to remember how he loved her, how he cherished her and the promises he made. Ruby breaks down in her grief and literally begs her partner to remember her one last time. To look at her face and see the woman she fell in love with.

Finally, we get the chorus one last time, at which point all her emotion is unleashed. Her words become almost like beautiful screams and sounds of desperation. This was what I experienced when I first heard this version of this beautiful song. I felt more than sad; I felt her desperation and the feeling of hopelessness. Her singing and begging in the end changed nothing but allowed all her emotions to flow out.

We should cherish love and life. For what is one without the other?