Quick Read: 5 Strangest Albums You Share The Planet With

There are some seriously messed up artistic endeavours out there that have been committed to vinyl, or at least polycarbonate plastic, and today I'm gonna tell you about 5 of the strangest albums of all time.

With so much weirdness out there narrowing down this list wasn’t easy; the selected albums had to be "strange" by their very nature, not just “strange bands" doing their regular thing. Some of these albums are uncharacteristically odd for the artist making them, or they’re from someone who isn't traditionally viewed as a musician. I think you get the idea, so without further adieu...

Number 5. The People’s Choice Music (1997) – Komar & Melamid and Dave Soldier

“Promote individual interests; George Stephanopoulous, Imelda Marcos. Promote special interests; Sugar, Beef, Bananas, Lumber, Pork Bellies, Pork Barrels, Coca-Cola!” – Nina Mankin (excerpt from “The Most Unwanted Song“)

The EP entitled The People’s Choice Music contains just 2 songs, the longest of which is “The Most Unwanted Song in the World“ a title that doesn't leave alot to the imagination.

This gem was less written than scientifically engineered…The project was created for the Dia Art Foundation by Komar and Melamid with composer Dave Soldier, the latter also just happens to be a neuroscientist and once you understand this album, it is quite a cruel and unusual creation, it contains among its bag of goodies: bagpipes, “cowboy music”, an opera singer rapping, and a children’s choir that tells you to shop nowhere other than Wal-Mart, all chosen to create the most scientifically and psychiatrically displeasing song possible.

In their defence, they do spend 5 minutes symbolically apologizing through the only other track on the album, “The Most Wanted Song” which as you can imagine was a track that shared the same passion for pleasure as its counterpart did for auditory torture. The anti-climactic part of this whole adventure may just be that so much work is put into crafting music to popular taste already, that this track hardly stands out the way that the 25 minutes of pure terror after it does.

This one made the list because despite being an ep of only 2 tracks, surviving the entire thing will cost you almost 28 minutes, and considering there are actually several full-length lp’s around with a runtime under 25 minutes, I gave it a pass. Also, the very idea of investing the time and effort into creating this train wreck with no pretence of it being good upon completion wins it a spot at number #5.

Number 4. Crazy Clown Time (2012) – David Lynch

“There has been a reversal of sorts of the age-old phrase, “You can’t get Something from nothing.”” – David Lynch

This is one of those albums that is either a masterpiece or a train wreck but I’ll be damned if I know which one it is, and perhaps that’s part of its charm.

Parts of this album such as “I Know” are clearly blues-driven and almost something you would find on any old blues playlist except that it’s infused with an oddly martian quality.

One of the arguably odder tracks present is called “Strange and Unproductive Thinking“ which, if you can get over the psychedelic weirdness, is an interesting look at how small things can lead to the overall deterioration of society. If you have eight minutes and a quiet place, it’s almost worthy of trying to understand.

This project’s title track perfectly summarizes the album as you are initially lured in by a fairly familiar blues beat before Elmo gives witness testimony regarding what will become known as crazy clown time…ok, so that’s not exactly what happens, but a voice that can only have come from Elmo after a hard night of drinking does recite the following:

“Molly had her rip shirt

Molly had her rip shirt

Suzy, she ripped her shirt off completely

Oh, Molly had her rip shirt

Oh, Molly had her rip shirt

Suzy, she ripped her shirt off completely

Then he poured the beer

Then he poured the beer all over Sally.”

…And to be fair this is before the beginning of the period seemingly dubbed, “crazy clown time”, which seems to be triggered when this entire ordeal of ripping and pouring is moved to the backyard.

for being vaguely accessible musically but odd as hell, this Avant guard MDMA trip comes in at # 4.

Number 3. Metal Machine Music (1975) – Lou Reed

“I don’t have any fans left. After Metal Machine Music (1975), they all fled. Who cares? I’m essentially in this for the fun of it.” – Lou Reed (2011)

This album by Lou Reed is composed almost entirely of guitar feedback…yep…4 tracks of relentless ear gouging agony.

The self-proclaimed conclusion of heavy metal music consists of 4 songs all titled as separate segments of the title track (“Metal Machine Music, pt. 1”, “Metal Machine Music, pt. 2”, etc.). Received with almost entirely negative reviews, it consists of guitar effects and feedback being sped up and slowed down in a way that while, sure, is blatantly and indulgently pushing an artsy vibe, is still just plain strange!

Metal Machine Music is the only album on this list widely acknowledged to have damaged the artist’s career and for that, it comes in at number 3.

Number 2. ( ) (2002) – Sigur Rós

“You xylo. You xylo no fi lo. You so.” – Literally the only lyrics on the album.

In 2002 Icelandic dream-pop band Sigur Rós, released a bizarre little album called… well ok, it doesn’t really have a title, but it’s commonly referred to as "The Bracket Album". Likewise, none of the songs on this album have titles either and if you read the liner notes you will find that it consists only of tracks titled “Untitled”

In addition to lacking nomenclature, the album isn’t in English and it isn’t even in Icelandic, the band's native tongue. Instead, the entire album is sung in Vonlenska, a language described by the band itself as “A form of gibberish vocals that fits (sic) to the music”

Possibly the strangest part about this untitled album isn’t even that none of the songs have titles, or that it is sung entirely in self-proclaimed gibberish, no, the most shocking part is that it somehow blindsided its way to #51 on the Billboard 200.

For having no actual words in it and yet still, almost mockingly, snagging a spot on the charts I’m giving this album the #2 spot.

#1. The Big Problem ≠ The Solution. The Solution = Let It Be (1989) – Crispin Glover

“Women are sweet, and girls are honey, but beat your meat and save your money” – Crispin Glover (Excerpt from Auto-Manipulator)

No, I didn’t fall asleep on the keyboard, our #1 spot goes to The Big Problem ≠ The Solution. The Solution = Let It Be which if you don’t speak in symbols is intended to be read as, “The Big Problem Does Not Equal the Solution, The Solution Equals Let It Be”… Now, I’m not going to try to go into a detailed breakdown behind the true meaning of this album, there are a plethora of really interesting theories out there concerning the analysis of the 16 tracks presented and if you find yourself intrigued by this entry it can be a fun rabbit hole to go down. In fact, the original liner notes offered listeners a phone number to call if they thought they had determined what “The Big Problem” was.

This is the only album on this list to contain a cover song but in all fairness, this isn’t just any cover song it is a haunting version of Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Are Made For Walking“, this rendition sounds like a weepy, desperate plea from a flamboyantly pubescent teenage boy on vodka and Ambien, if you don’t believe me I urge you to click here.

For the oddity of its themes, and for having a soundscape that ranges from Run DMC-esque rap-rock on tracks like “Auto-Manipulator“ to the angelic group of voices chanting Charles Manson lyrics on “I’ll Never Say Never To Always”, it made this list. For the sense of perpetual mystery, and the small cult of sorts trying to decode it, this album takes the #1 spot.

Way to go you genius weirdos, I’m going to take a bit of time away from this playlist now so that the nightmares stop, but if you’re interested in these obscure picks you should definitely take the time to look them up, most of these are available of Spotify, Youtube, Apple, and pretty much anywhere you listen to music! You can also check out this Youtube playlist I made to showcase some of the stand out tracks from this list! enjoy!