Making it, Not Faking It

I think the title and the photo say it all. I'm a musician. A struggling one at that. I sometimes fail to realize the difference, or the distance between my vision of my life and the facts.

What that means is that I see myself making an impact. I envision, "manifest" if you will, write, and still I am faced with the reality that at some point I have to do something out of my comfort zone and expose myself. Not in a Louie C.K. way. I mean expose who I really am, my art, my music, my soul. Music is the sound of feeling. So then how do I get that expression of feeling to put food on my table and gas in my truck without forsaking that dream to get a 9-5 where my opinions, desires and songs will play second fiddle (pun intended) to the opinons and desires of an employer who may/may not be competent. And as if that is not enough, how do I obtain "success" while remaining authentic and true to self?

That's a fair question, because we all have varying ideas of success. Different backgrounds, motivations, talents, capabilities, etc. So for me, I define success as having my musical talent support me. Which, is all fine and good, but what does THAT mean?

I had that question posed to me by a beautiful stranger at a bar on a Monday in downtown Los Angeles. We got to talking about enjoyment of work, and how Monday gets a bad wrap, because its the work-bell call for a large part of the country. I told her I'm an electrician who enjoys his physical work but is looking to make a hard turn and pursue my dream. She persisted with the questions of "why?" and "how?" She wasn't confrontational, but challenging. It really got me to reflect on my why, but more importantly my how. Which to me is even more important.

We've all heard the motivational pitches whether we went to a seminar or read them in a book. Sometimes you can find them on the pages of Instagram psuedo-philosophers. All of the "believe it to achieve it," "rise and grind." Or better yet pick a quantity of any letter of the alphabet and get people excited about it. "The 3 B's to Success and the Life you Please."

Or whatever the fuck. All of that to give me all the eye-rolls. I'm not poo-pooing the proven result of manifestation and positive thinking. I'm just skeptical of the mundane day to day cliches. I want tangible results. I don't mean money, I mean happiness, peace of mind, the ability to know your ends and your friends are covered and you can have a drink at a bar anywhere in the world on a Monday without feeling like you should be doing something productive.

So.....once again, HOW?!

I'm still figuring that out. But one thing I am learning, is that a creative catalogue, something that I can give and share. I have notebooks of lyrics and melodies and chords. An audio library of chops and riffs and cool ideas for rythms and combinations and blending of genres. But unless those ideas are in a medium where they can be shared, then I'm gonna keep holding back to the secure route. Fuck that. I'm up for the challenge. I'm taking my soul back. And if you are a musician or any form of artist who feels the same, don't hesitate to show some love. We all know what goes around comes around like a hula hoop. I think Tunechi said that.

I sincerely believe there is something to be said about artists supporting artists. Just because one of us is eating doesn't mean others can't. I'm going to keep writing, and use this to keep me creatively accountable. Regardless of readership. lol

Stay Tuned.