In my Headphones

In my mind, my year is split into three distinct chunks.

The first bit of the year was consumed with putting together my first full-length ballet. The hours I spent finding the perfect music, listening to everything on repeat, shaped my first four months of 2024. A combination of classical and worship music, it helped lift my spirits during the end of our cold Alaskan winter.

The second chunk was truly just summer. Summers in Fairbanks, Alaska, are so alive. The sun is always up, midnight festivals dot our calendars, and the vibes are high.

The last bit is winter, characterized by ping-ponging temperatures, darkness, and cozy home-cooked meals. The mood changes significantly and my playlist really captures that. Let's dive into some of these songs.

Spring

This song has always been a favorite of mine, Vivaldi's Winter. This particular version is by Daniel Verstappen and it propelled me forward in the making of my show. I used this song to illustrate the separation of Light and Dark in Creation. The heavy beats paired with the airy violin are so perfect together.

I have always loved Vivaldi's Four Seasons. I have choreographed to the allegro from Summer. I used to listen to all of Winter on repeat while writing in high school. Vivaldi was a genius and his pieces pull emotions from us we thought were dormant. The power and the delicacy are so complex and beautiful.

Alongside the classics were some gorgeous worship songs.

Psalm 23 by The Corner Room was a favorite among the dancers and audience members alike. It's a straightforward song as it simply recites Psalm 23 with a sweet chorus. It reminds me of the old hymns that didn't rely on repeating a single phrase twelve times like so many modern worship songs. The peace that washed over me when I heard this song told me it was the right choice for my show.

Summer

After the tumultuous spring semester following a long, dark winter, the sun finally showed up. The snow melted away, the darkness dissipated, and the mood in Fairbanks lifted.

My default genre is Alternative/Indie Pop and summer is the perfect time to lean in to this. Eat That Up, It's Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club is the kind of upbeat bop that makes summer days that much brighter. Driving around with my windows down and this turned up made our little town feel like the idyllic backdrop to an indie movie that only that one friend knows about.

I'm positively addicted to finding new music. I work in a coffee hut and we have music playing constantly, so my same old playlists get awfully tired. Every now and then I'd let one of my music apps just do their thing, autoplaying for hours. That's how I found this song.

The Bidding by Tally Hall. A little bit of a dark feel with a very catchy tune. This song quickly made it's way onto my playlists. At work you could find me bobbing along to this as I pulled espresso. At the gym my running matched the BPM. It was one of those songs that I couldn't help but play on repeat.

Speaking of playing on repeat, I think this might have been my most played song over the summer. The subject matter of Domestic Bliss by Glass Animals is not exactly happy... quite the opposite really. However, the beat, the smooth vocals, and the catchiness of it all totally hooked me. I have been a fan of Glass Animals for years and you can find their songs on many of playlists. This was the simply the newest find and I really latched on to it.

Winter

Winter in Alaska hits hard. All of a sudden it's dark all the time, your toes are always cold, and everything is grey. I know some people love this time of year, they go skiing or they bake bread, or whatever the happy winter people do. I have a better relationship with winter than I used to, but I'd be lying if I said I was immune to the seasonal depression.

When I need to embrace the dark and the slight depression I go for the muted rock tones of the The Strokes. Why Are Sundays So Depressing by The Strokes has been a favorite for a long time. I love their Velvet Underground feel, the vibe-y muttering lyrics. It makes me want to ride on the subway in a leather jacket and stare somberly at absolutely nothing.

Along the same lines, we have this absolute banger from Scottish alt-rock group, Snow Patrol. Take Back the City by Snow Patrol is another song that I have been listening to for a long time but for some reason this year it has been more common for me to switch it on. The vibes are much more upbeat and victorious, a hope for a personal revolution. It's motivating and fun to dance to, a necessary combination for me.

Winter also brings one of my favorite days; my wedding anniversary. My husband and I have always loved showing each other new music and dancing together. More often than not, he is the one showing me incredible indie artists I have never heard of, or digging up retro stars I had forgotten about. This year though I got to introduce him to Mitski.

Positive songs about marriage are... hard to find, honestly. It doesn't seem to be a popular subject matter. I get it. Sad songs, heartbreak, anger, these all make for music people will play over and over in the darker moments. Finding Me and My Husband by Mitski made me so happy. It's a sweet song about two married people against the world. It isn't about marriage being perfect or like a fairy tale. It's realistic and heartwarming.

Then, of course, it's Christmas. Christmas is not really my favorite holiday. I get tired of the mainstream Christmas music, all the decorations everywhere, all things Christmas being pushed starting on Halloween. However, there are certain Christmas songs that get me feeling jolly and bright. Classics sung by Bing Crosby, beautiful old hymns we sing in church, etc. And then there's this...

Don't Shoot Me Santa by The Killers. The Killers are always fun, always a good bop to dance to. This zany holiday song sounds nothing like any other Christmas song, the whole vibe changes at least three times, the backup vocals are killing it. When I need to let loose around Christmas I'll put this on nice and loud in the living room and my husband and I sing along in our best Brandon Flowers impressions.

This year was odd in some ways. I faced some huge challenges, I took a big step in my career, I lost and gained friends. Thankfully, no matter what happens, I know I have these songs that I can look back to and remember not just what happened, but how I felt through it all.