Group Therapy

Chorus (Group Leader)

Welcome to group therapy…

Grab a seat,

And gather round…

Adjust your seats,

For hearing and clarity…

To witness,

Testimonies so profound…

To move forward,

Understand, you-

Must heal first...

Today is a new beginning...

Your rebirth…

For those-

Bound in chains,

From trauma and pain,

This is a safe space to be heard…

PAUSE

Who would like to kick off today's meeting?

Verse One

Okay,

I guess I'll go first…

Hi…

My name is RayAnn--

First time I was sexually abused,

I was ten--

By my momma's new friend--

Stripped of my joy,

And innocence,

Cause she had poor taste in men…

It started when he asked me,

To sit on his lap--

Then cuddles with naps--

And I didn't know how to react...

And when I tried confiding,

Got labeled as trash,

Accused of lying,

Told to stop being fast…

So by seventh grade--

He sneaks into my room late--

Forced to suffer in silence,

Cause his history of violence…

He beat on my momma routinely--

And said that he did it,

cause he loved her too deeply--

Started believing I was cursed,

Cause prayers didn’t work,

Losing my will to fight,

As it gets even worse…

I got-

Pregnant at fifteen,

And my mom would just hit me--

Felt like a sick dream,

I just couldn’t wake up...

In my second trimester,

I must have upset her--

Her hatred could no longer be bared,

Threw me down the stairs--

Three broken ribs,

Lost the baby,

So scared-

And helpless,

How could that bitch be that selfish-

She never meant well,

I just had to accept it,

I spent my childhood being constantly raped and neglected…

And I just wanted my dad,

When He died,

I was six,

To be back in his arms,

Protected…

Honestly,

That’s why I slit my wrists--

And Sometimes-

I still feel like it sucks that I lived…

But-

Most days--

I’m grateful I can open my eyes,

Still healing,

But, I’ve got the support,

From my love in life,

And feeling kicks of a baby girl,

one day I hope to inspire-

Realizing my dad,

Was closer than he seemed,

Instead of being wrapped up in his arms,

I’m covered by his wings...

It’s warm--

It’s a beautiful thing…

PAUSE

Thank you for that, RayAnn... That took a lot of courage and now you’re one day closer to healing… You all are… Now, I see some more have joined us, so…

Chorus (Group Leader)

Welcome to group therapy…

Grab a seat,

And gather round…

Adjust your seats,

For hearing and clarity…

To witness,

Testimonies so profound…

To move forward,

Understand, you-

Must heal first...

Today is a new beginning...

Your rebirth…

For those-

Bound in chains,

From trauma and pain,

This is a safe space to be heard…

PAUSE

All right. Is there anyone else?... Remember, you will never be forced to share; it's all voluntary, so you can do so whenever you are ready.

Verse 2

Sure, I guess I’ll go next…

Okay,

Ummm—

Hi,

My name is Lincoln,

To battle depression,

I started drinkin,

And I already know what you're thinkin'--

I don’t need anyone,

To try and emphasize--

It’s just how I compartmentalized...

Thought it would help me get better,

Really though?--

I just got desperate--

Needed to suppress it,

But that shit--

Didn’t go at all as expected...

Became addicted to-

Alcohol,

Then Adderall,

Snowy days,

Blown veins,

Wasted potential...

I was at a loss,

Felt worthless--

Failing to thrive,

Deprived of a guide,

From carrying the pain,

Of growing up, the oldest of five...

Always him against me--

After everything went downhill,

He said my mom had abandoned him--

Could no longer handle-

Being the nail to an anvil-

After, he started dating Jaime Sin...

And now my daddy's issues, (Drinking)

Started their long-term commitment of, (Power misused)

Sanity cripplin,

Resulted in-- (Constant abuse)...

How could we really love em?-

Pro-ba-bly didn’t-

But if you ask me...

He got what was comin--

OD’d with a hooker,

I didn’t feel nothin,

It’s crazy--

Bore no resentment,

Just indifferent, (But you know)

Looking back--

I wonder how the sickness came over ‘em,

His many days and nights-

Strugglin-

With no relief,

I know what you’re thinking--

Who am I-

To stand here and be a judge of ‘em?, (The hypocrisy)

Don’t need to tell me,

I’m already ashamed-

Having lived my life the same,

But I can stand now-

A man, knowing,

I’ve come a long way...

Having got shit from him,

Or that bitch of a mother--

Who never cared how we suffered--

And in all honesty, I can happily say, FUCK HER!,

And I mean that--

From the deepest depths of my soul,

Cause even though I’m grown,

I still feel like a child--

I can’t let it go,

But I know life is full--

Of ups and downs,

Sometimes-

Not very forgiving...

But, Ive--

Reconnected with my siblings

And we’ve never been closer--

And I can proudly say!,

I'm clean--

Celebrating 331 days sober…

Umm… Thank you.

PAUSE

Congratulations on your sobriety, Lincoln and thank you for sharing today... Remember, we're all at different stages, and that's okay. It's why we're here, so...

Chorus (Group Leader)

Welcome to group therapy…

Grab a seat,

And gather round…

Adjust your seats,

For hearing and clarity…

To witness,

Testimonies so profound…

To move forward,

Understand, you-

Must heal first...

Today is a new beginning...

Your rebirth…

For those-

Bound in chains,

From trauma and pain,

This is a safe space to be heard…

Verse 3

I’m sorry if I fidget...

I’m quite anxious…

It’s my first time here. Ummm…

Well… Hello everyone...

My name is Rebecca-

And Self-Infliction,

Was-

My vice-

It helped to,

Relieve the pressure...

Most times-

It only helped for a moment,

In the shower,

Their burning,

Yet, I kept making more of them…

And if you care to know--

Cuts were thigh high--

So, no one would notice,

And I was,

Too weak to control it,

Slice left to right--

Over and over,

And over,

And over,

And over,

And over,

Watching myself bleed—

I felt I deserved it...

Sometimes--

The demons,

Creep into my thoughts--

Nefarious-

Dark-

Whispering taunts-

Like-

This is just what everyone wants…

I’m Sorry,

I’m sorry… I always snot a ton when crying, I know it’s gross…

Some days--

Well-

Most days…

I’m isolated—

Self-conversation—

There’s no escaping-

All of the hatred...

Before long—

The cuttin' stopped workin’-

I was weighed by pressure,

Just a failure,

I’m broken--

But smile like I’m fine…

No, I am fine... Ya' know? I’m good... Great actually… I’m serious…

Looking in the mirror,

Ashamed,

Look to be barely surviving--

Okay, bitch,

Now, you lying--

There’s nothing inspiring,

I’m empty--

This life--

Unfulfilling,

And--

You can call me weak,

But to me--

The shits crippling!...

I’m--

Sorry for shouting,

But the looks,

Say your doubting...

Would you,

Like me to,

Drop my fucking pants,

Wanna count them--

They say,

Don’t stop,

Keep climbing the hill--

BITCH, I’m climbing a mountain!...

So, my Self-Worth--

Is An afterimage--

And--

Before you picture it--

Recognize, I’m manic,

And my decisions,

Are—

Sometimes impulsive,

So, before you judge--

Look in the mirror,

Ask yourself,

Are you perfect?...

Now--

I’m twenty-five,

Life still not a vibe--

Some days-

I wish I’d die--

Other times--

I feel blessed I’m alive--

It’s--

A vicious cycle...

But umm--

Yeah--

Thank you,

For letting me speak,

I’ll come back next week,

To--

Confront more of my trauma--

Hoping one day,

I'll find peace…

PAUSE

Thank you so much to those who've shared with us today. There will be more opportunities to share next week. I'll stay to talk, listen, or be here for those interested.

To everyone else, thank you for coming. I'll see you next week.

Thank you for attending Group Therapy.

✍🏾 April 8, 2024