Grew: what it really means to ‘just grow’ after trauma

Verse 1

Walking through the trees, I stop to feel the breeze — but it’s humid

Sweat stains my clothes, I long to hold you close — but you hid

An owl hoots beside me, warning with its wisdom — but it’s dark

“It’s too dark to listen,” I say, while crickets scream in the park

Please

Pre-Chorus

Thanks to your embrace, I learned to drop the brace — now I stand alone

But you liked me when I limped, said it gave you a glimpse — thought it was a show

The grass coils at my feet, tries to pull me down — but I’ve outgrown

You said my flowers were just weeds, so you chose to leave

You can’t be with me

Chorus

But I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

Verse 2

Branches grab and scrape me, I bleed — my prince won't come

A true metamorphosis, I meet the eclipse — she's come undone

Even in the meteor rain, I never felt this kind of flame — I’m a beanstalk in the sky

It’s too dark? I have cat’s eyes, and a mind that bends light

If that scares you — it's your loss

Say, "Cheese!"

Pre-Chorus

It was never your embrace — I shed the brace, through work of my own

You liked it when I limped, to you, my healing a script — claimed it was just for show

The moon pool swirls at my feet, tugs me down — but I’ve outgrown

You said my flowers were just weeds, so you chose to leave

You can’t be with me

Chorus

But I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

Bridge

You kept me in a pot

My soil running dry

I should’ve known I wasn’t safe with just any guy

You kept me in a pot

But I was meant to breathe

I should’ve known I never needed anyone but me

Chorus (Final)

And I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

I’m not as scared as you once knew me

Turned my life around — truly

I didn’t change

I just grew

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"You changed and it just doesn't feel the same anymore," was the reason I heard from the person I loved and trusted the most for why we were over. Mind you, I certainly went through many changes, and this was a great excuse to abandon a relationship that wasn't something he wanted to begin with.

I was so heartbroken, thinking that all my hardwork was truly a reason to be left–and I really was alone. I dropped out of university, all my friends were in other countries, and I had absolutely nothing going for me, except my future plans, which were now crushed.

But I remember being crushed and then outraged.

Changed? Well, in two years, just what exactly was I supposed to do? Stay the same? That would've kept the relationship alive? Surely, I'm not meant to feel like my ever-growing personality is something I should sacrifice for love.

So the day after the breakup, I sat on the couch, and spoke for the first time in over 24 hours in song. This is that old recording. Years later, it felt good to rework the root of this song, which is empowerment of your Self.

https://youtu.be/8ZlBwkGcyyg