five obscure sorrows

Breathing deep to step outside, thinking of the last five years

Everything I’ve had to let go of

Everything that we are now

And, oh, everything that we failed to become

Forgive me, my friend

I did not mean to take you down with me

You gave me your hand in good will

In what was in perfect love and perfect trust

I never meant to imprison you in the man my mind made up for you

I could have loved you for a lifetime and beyond

(And beyond)

I walk in this world

Just breaking hearts and breaking trusts

What can I do to make things right?

How do I let myself go

To allow me to become?

(To become)

Five years ago was when I lost you

I’ve not forgotten nor forgiven my let down of you

As you came to me for comfort

And instead I showed you a glimpse of the demon I’d become

Forgive me, my friend

I did not mean to take you down with me

You gave me your hand in good will

And I compared my failing love to the shadow of you

I never meant to make you feel less than the great awesomeness that you are

I could have loved you for a lifetime and beyond

(And beyond)

I walk in this world

Just breaking hearts and breaking trusts

What can I do to make things right?

How do I let myself go

To allow me to become?

(To become)

Two years ago, I wish I’d been wiser

When I asked for your help, and I had taken in my hands

What I took for granted

And understood the implications of the jaded person you’d become

Forgive me, my friend

I did not mean to take you down with me

You gave me your hand in good will

And I failed to recognise that which would tear us apart

Tough maybe you’d have stayed if I’d helped you understand a little more

I could have loved you for lifetime and beyond

(And beyond)

I walk in this world

Just breaking hearts and breaking trusts

What can I do to make things right?

How do I let myself go

To allow me to become?

(To become)

Two summers ago you came from the States

And I haven’t stopped crying since

Not your fault

I cry over everything that I have failed to become

Forgive me, my friend

I did not mean to take you down with me

You gave me your hand in good will

And all I’ve given you is pain across the airwaves in return

But we have held each other up as often as we could

I will love you for a lifetime and beyond

And I walk in this world

Just breaking hearts and breaking trusts

What can I do to make things right?

How do I let myself go

To allow me to become?

(To become)

Flying over Jordan, sitting on Sebastian’s chest

When I said it in rehearsal, I thought it was a funny joke

Witty word play at best

Little did I know what a fucked up person I’d become

Forgive me, my friend

I did not mean to take you down with me

You gave me your hand in good will

And I dashed us headfirst into the hedge maze

And I never meant to push you down with the same suffocation I’ve felt for the last five years

I could have loved you for a lifetime and beyond

(And beyond)

It’s been a lifetime and beyond

When do I finally become?