Don’t Ghost Me Maybe?

We get older, and we change. So does dating.

We start adjusting our expectations, and we like to make sure right out front that we’re on the right track, so we don’t lose any more precious time.

The Carly Rae Jepsen hit Call Me Maybe is the perfect positive, but naive soundtrack to those moments when you’re just starting to date someone new.

It’s cute and bubbly, and portrays all the excited energy of those first weeks or months. The melody is really catchy, and you can’t avoid singing it in your mind whenever someone even mentions the song.

But it desperately needs an update. It’s a little needy from a 2021 perspective and portrays a young woman who’s kind of desperate for a guy. She says she was doing so, so bad without him? Come on, Carly.

We can do better. And by we, I mean women over thirty.

We now know we need to be deal with our own issues. We need to love ourselves. If we don’t, how the hell are we ever going to love somebody else? (Thank you, RuPaul.)

This is why I wanted to help you to really portray the reality of dating these days. That moment when, after all the fuckboys, you finally meet someone nice, who respects you and who’s nice to hang out with.

It reflects the optimism of meeting someone you like, when you both carry some baggage. But especially, when you’re old enough to get into relationships because you like someone, not because you desperately need them in your life.

You just want to make sure they’ll give you the respect you deserve, and that they definitely won’t just disappear without notice.

This is what we need a soundtrack for.

That's why I'm offering you my take on the 2012 hit.

In case you never heard the song, here it is. Feel free to play it along while reading the lyrics.

Don’t Ghost me Maybe?

I’ve had some really bad dates, I thought we’d just be mates

But it’s starting to feel nice and now you’re in my life

I’d trade my soul for a wish, no more Tinder, Bumble or Hinge

I don’t need to be a wife, but I want you in my life

--

Your stair was holdin’, conversation, respect flowing

Great sex, consent showing

Where you think you’re going, baby?

--

Hey, we’ve been dating a while now baby

And I kinda like you, don’t ghost me maybe?

We’ve both been through some bad dates lately

So let’s stick to this, don’t ghost me maybe

Hey, you’re so normal and this is crazy

I don’t want to lose you, so don’t ghost me maybe

And we won’t get married and have babies

We have some issues, just don’t ghost me maybe

--

We take our time with it all, no urge no need for a fall

I need nothing at all, but still you’re in my life

We have a lot of fun on our dates, it doesn’t have to be fate

Don’t want to share everything, I’ll never need a ring

--

We both have baggage, don’t need no more damage

Let’s take all this easy

Where you think you’re going, baby?

--

Hey, we’ve been dating and it’s great, baby

And I really like you, don’t ghost me maybe?

I’ve met enough of those fuckboys, baby

So let’s keep talking, don’t ghost me maybe

Hey, you’re so smart and not at all crazy

I don’t want to lose you, don’t ghost me maybe

And we don’t have to move in together

We’ve been through some shit so, don’t ghost me maybe

--

Before you came into my life, I was doing so great

I was so great, I was so, so great

I am an adult so I was completely fine, fine

And you should know that, I was so fine, fine, fine

--

It’s hard to explain this to you, baby

But I’ll never need you, just don’t ghost me maybe

Hey, I won’t cry if you leave me, baby

But I enjoy this, so don’t ghost me maybe

--

And all the fuckboys, they try to chase me

But I’m too old for it, so don’t ghost me maybe

Before you came into my life, I was doing so great

I was doing so great, I was doing so, so great

Before you came into my life, I didn’t need you

And I still don’t need you

Just don’t ghost me maybe

--

This story was previously published by me, on Medium.