Are you lonely? Do you hate Valentine's Day? Do you skip love songs?

As someone who has a chronic history of falling for emotionally unavailable men, love songs haven't always make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. They used to be the songs I'd often skip when my Spotify was on shuffle. But I recently found a way to listen to them again, all while fully embracing and accepting the reality that there is no romantic love in my life. 

I found a trick. You've probably never heard of it. 

None of my close friends ever saw it from this perspective (although most of them are in healthy, long-term relationships, boo!). 

Here's what it is. For whatever song you genuinely like but skip due to the heartache of being single, stop yourself before you click the > button next time. Do a quick Google search instead. Find out who the songwriter is. 

Put on your little cyber detective hat and do some digging. Find out who their partner was at the time. In almost all cases, it's easy to find out if the songwriter is still with their then-partner, and most of the time, they're not.

(From my personal experience, I've found that songs pass this test more than half of the time. This is not scientific.)^

Okay. Now you're armed with this new technique. Take it and run with it —whether you want to be a pessimist and wallow in the Schadenfreude or be an optimist —you can gain a new perspective. 

Here are some examples: 1. optimist (e.g., 'wow, if they were able to love the wrong person this much, imagine how much they love the person they were meant to be with!'); OR 2. pessimist (e.g. 'love is fake and the lyrics of this song mean nothing. the pain that I feel is probably small compared to the heartache felt by the person who actually wrote it who is no longer with that person. good!').

I'm sure there are other ways to take it. Overall, I find that it's seldom a bad thing to be reminded of the ebbs and flows of life and that nothing is permanent. It makes it easier to have faith that things will change for you for the better.

Anyway. Here it is… 

12 Hokey, Excessively Sweet Love Songs I Used To Avoid Out Of Loneliness That I Now Have No Problem Enjoying Because I Did Some Digging And Found That The Songwriter Is No Longer With Their Then-Muse Playlist: 

1. 'First Day of My Life' by Bright Eyes

Yours was the first face that I saw 

I think I was blind before I met you 

And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been 

But I know where I want to go

This song was released in 2005. Conor Obrest didn't meet the woman he would marry until 2008. Unless he's capable of time travel, this is an open-shut case. Next!

2. '5 Years Time' by Noah and the Whale

Oh, in five years time I might not know you

In five years time we might not speak

Oh, in five years time we might not get along

In five years time you might just prove me wrong

I was looking at my tumblr from back in the day and I posted this song to my page in 2016 in reference to my first boyfriend. Five years later, we're certainly not together. And, as fate would have it, the songwriter had the same luck five years after the release of this song in 2008. She did not prove him wrong.

3. 'Watermelon Sugar' by Harry Styles

Strawberries on a summer evenin' 

Baby, you're the end of June 

I want your belly and that summer feelin' 

Getting washed away in you

This exceptional song was written about how much Harry Styles loved going down on his then-girlfriend Camille Rowe. Their relationship died and he's now dating Olivia Wilde, but this song will live on forever. Go Camille!

4. 'Take Me to Church' by Hozier

The only Heaven I'll be sent to 

Is when I'm alone with you 

I was born sick, but I love it 

Command me to be well

A song that compares his love for his partner to obsession and religious devotion. Amazing. Hozier is no longer with whomever this song was about.

5. 'Say You Won't Let Go' by James Arthur

So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows 

That it's just you and me 'til we're grey and old 

Just say you won't let go 

Just say you won't let go

This one throws caution to the wind and takes a whole new approach: it's not about anyone! James Arthur goes into detail about this song in an interview and explains how, while he's never been in love, he'd very much like to experience it someday. He said he wrote the song in a way he hoped would be relatable to those who were in love. He wins this playlist. 

6. 'Big Jet Plane' by Angus & Julia Stone

I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her 

She smelled of daisies, she smelled of daisies 

She drive me crazy, she drive me crazy

This song was written by the brother-sister duo and neither appear to have a super long-term partner from that time. This song is playlist-approved. 

7. 'Only Love' by Ben Howard

Darling, you're with me, always around me 

Only love, only love 

Darling, I feel you, under my body 

Only love, only love

 Give me shelter, or show me heart 

Come on love, come on love 

Watch me fall apart, watch me fall apart

According to the internet, he only began dating his current girlfriend a few years ago, and this song was released in 2011. You do the math. 

8. 'Teleport 2 Me, Jamie' by Kid Cudi

I can't stand the times when I'm alone at night

And I feel your side of the bed and it's cold

Wide awake, I don't know the time

Cause I'm too busy texting you on my phone

Saying I want you girl, I need your body right here

Won't you teleport to me?

Won't you teleport to me, baby

:(

9. 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know 

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home 

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets 

To carry love, to carry children of our own

Ed Sheeran is currently single. Related: I went on a couple dates with this British guy a few years ago who told me he met Ed Sheeran in a club one time and that he was very kind, and I believe him, and I truly hope Ed Sheeran finds love someday. 

10. 'Wonderful Tonight' by Eric Clapton

And then I tell her, as I turn out the light 

I say, "My darling, you are wonderful tonight" 

Oh my darling, you are wonderful tonight

This song was released in 1977 and is famously about Pattie Boyd. They divorced in 1989 and Clapton has since remarried.

11. 'Riptide' by Vance Joy

I love you when you're singing that song

 And I got a lump in my throat 

'Cause you're gonna sing the words wrong

Maybe that just ended up bothering him too much. I know it's one of my biggest pet peeves.

12. 'King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1' by Neutral Milk Hotel

And from above you how I sank into your soul 

Into that secret place 

Where no one dares to go

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be about a real person, but regardless, it passes the test!

Try it out for yourself sometime. 

Occasionally, of course, you'll find that the songwriter is still with their partner. You can still skip those, or you can develop a healthier perspective and listen to them anyway. Love songs are worth listening to and you shouldn't deny yourself the warm and fuzzy feelings you get inside from them just because you're single —it could very well be the closest thing you can get to real warmth right now anyway.