vetzabe rivera

Dear Mama

Dear mom, There are so many things I wish I could put into words just to let you know how much you mean to me. You’ve been there through it all, the good, the bad, the ups and down, every single stage of my life. My emo phase, my pop Princess phase, my teenage attitude crazy phase, my don’t talk to me phase, just to name a few. You were also there for me through my huge move to another state away from all my family and friends, my pregnancy, giving birth to my first baby girl, walking me down the aisle at my wedding, and every other huge life event I can think of. I look back at my teenage years and how I treated you and act like I knew everything. Damn, I really knew nothing. You were always so patient with me and handled me with such care. I remember going through a really difficult depressive phase in my life. All I wanted to do was drink and smoke weed and do drugs all the time with my friends. It’s the only thing that ever took the pain away from the resentment I had towards my dad and the stress of my relationship with him. It was my only escape from reality and everything going on in my head. I did something really stupid that I would never forgive myself for. Looking back at it I didn’t think it was a huge deal or meant anything, but now as a grown adult I’m like how dare I have done that. Me and my friends would scrounge up whatever we could for money just for the night to party and have fun. We went as far as taking things and pawning them just to get some money for our crazy shenanigans. I remember taking your “L” gold initial necklace that I believe my dad gifted you. I pawned it and never looked back. I never heard you talk about it or ask about it, but I still regret it til this day and feel like shit about it. I went back one day soon after to try and buy it back, but it was gone. It’s probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, but I hope you can forgive me. I would give you the world and definitely another L necklace. Love you mom, and I’m sorry! I hope I’m still your favorite.