Tricia

Growing in the gloom

Growing in the gloom I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth! I wasn’t one of the lucky ones that are born with a silver spoon; my spoon was definitely made out of plastic! For many years during my life I have lived at or near the ocean, and, because of that, I have a special kind of admiration for some of the trees that grow on the cliffs above the sand. In one area, all of the trees grow at a slant because they are constantly being blown by the wind. They are all big, strong trees that have weathered many storms; even though they are slanted they still stand strong and tall while continuing to grow. I have always felt similar to those coastal trees because I am big, strong, and slightly slanted. During a really hard time in my life, I was crying, while I prayed, and I asked, God, “Why do I always have to suffer so much?” The reply I received in my heart was “you are not suffering, you are struggling. The struggle is what makes you stronger!” At that very moment I understood and accepted that response with gladness; I like the idea of becoming stronger. Oddly, I now look forward to whatever I will have to face next with excitement and anticipation. I wait for the next inevitable proverbial “shoe” to drop with the newfound knowledge that when that happens, it will build me up and not tear me down. I am finally learning how to live without worry, doubt or fear and have a feeling of excitement! My usual anxiety is gone and I am very thankful that God changed my “suffering” into just a struggle! Leave your troubles with the LORD, and he will defend you; he never lets honest people be defeated. -Psalm 55:22 “The Lord replied, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 God’s presence is powerful and strong. It is never dependent on how good we are, he is faithful even in our hardest struggles only in Him can true rest and peace be found. "Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest.- Matthew 11:28-29 When I finally gave my heavy burden of anxiety, frustration, complaints, worry, doubts, fears, and sufferings over to Jesus, as he tells us to. He did exactly what he promised to do, and now I feel at ease because my burdens are light and much easier to carry. I narrowly escaped the “gloom”, and now I am living “The Kingdom life”, from Glory to Glory. I know firsthand how deep and dark depression and despondency can be, I have a desire and a desperate need to share what length, height, and depth of love, that a miraculous, everlasting, and perfect God has for me and all His children. “Where there is much light there is also much shade.” Masashi Kishimoto "Every flower, even the fairest, has its shadow beneath it as it basks in the sunlight." Anonymous