Toritsesan Orru

Doing It Scared

I was always the shy, quiet girl who hid away from everything and everyone. Very cautious, I always did my best to make sure I wasn't noticed. I avoided anything that would draw attention to me. I put in a lot of effort to be invisible, I enjoyed not being seen. I liked the idea of being a mystery. I did everything I loved and enjoyed in my own space and time. One thing I've always loved and enjoyed doing is singing, it is one thing that always made me happy and put me in a good mood. As much as I enjoyed and loved singing but I could never sing in front of an audience without having stage-fright. So, as I got older and got into the university I realised I couldn't get rid of my stage-fright. So, on one cool evening, I sat outside with a few friends, the environment was chilled. A couple of people were having conversations in groups and I felt the urge to sing. At first, I told myself on the inside "nah, you can't do this", I stayed silent. Then, we just started talking about random stuffs, talking about everything and anything. We started talking about music, we talked about different artists, then a friend of mine started asking about our favorite singers. Well, as at the time in 2018, my favorite artist was Adele and I said so. Then, I was asked which of her songs I liked the most, I was stuck because I really just enjoyed her songs, I never thought to pick a favorite. So, I decided to choose the song of hers that I really enjoyed singing, I always enjoyed the chorus of "When we were young" and that was the song I chose as my favorite. They seemed to know the song, but couldn't really remember how the song went apparently. So, I decided to sing the chorus for them, I didn't think twice about it, so I wouldn't feel too anxious about it and bail. I sang it as best as I could without flopping and then there was a pause, silence lasted for almost a minute, then one of my friends said I had the voice of a country singer. That was the first time I sang in front of an audience without being shaky, they all gave me positive reviews about my voice. I remember my friends started mentioning the titles of some Adele songs and asking if I could sing them. I sang the ones I knew and I told them the ones I didn't know or pointed out the ones I couldn’t sing. Some of my friends joined in the singing, we sat outside for hours, singing songs of several artists from different genres. We actually sang some country songs, by the likes of Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers and Don Williams. We had a very good time, appreciating music and enjoying it like we owned every song we sang. It was nice to sing in public without feeling scared and doing it with people who appreciated music. I went to bed that day feeling really good about and I felt really happy, I'd done something I was always too scared to do. Although, a couple of people complained about us singing and some others told us to stop, there were those who enjoyed our singing. There were some people who were passing by that joined us in singing, momentarily, it was a moment of joy, relief, acceptance and no anxiety, I was happy to be singing and to have people to sing with. It was a night in my life that I'll never forget, a night I'll always be grateful for.