Theophilus Wells IV

Fallout

People – usually children- often ask me, “What’s it like being a package”? And my answer is simple, “Its amazing”. You get to travel. No one really bothers you. Your life is well managed and as of the 2000’s they even track you in the US. There aren’t many downsides. Sure, there is a bumpy ride every now and then and those fragile pansies complain for hours on end but overall being a package is good. Oh before I forget there is another downside….being near envelopes. They are super touchy feely. My theory is once they are licked it revs up the engine but doesn’t drive the car, if you know what I mean. They spend the rest of their 3-5 day lives wanting to pick up from where they left off. Its best keep your distance.